Forbidden Island: And We're Off!!

I think it's so appropriate to derail Martiki's bar post, it's as if we're all there, and he's making us drinks, and we're all yelling at the same time, and no one is talking about the same thing...

excellent, I can't wait!

mrs. p

I'm not sure any of you are aware of this, but OTTO is my NEIGHBOR and we live 2 minutes driving time from this dive.

Yes, it's true: OTTO IS MY NEIGHBOR. Isn't that just like so enviable? Sorry if I never mentioned it before, I've been waiting for the right time, and this is IT!!

If you're not completely green yet, check it: I've timed it and walking distance to FI from our Tiki-plex (sober) is just 10 minutes (the preferred mode of transport while intoxicated in Alameda), which means about 15 minutes staggering time back.

Does this mean you're invited back to our pads to sleep it off?

If you're Salma Hayek, mi casa es su casa. Otherwise, no.

They took down the vintage (circa 1980s is my guess) LINCOLN'S ADDRESS sign already. I saw Martin's new sign in the back and got really excited: it is HUGE! It simply has the initials F.I. , a la "T.I." in Vegas. Between the big pink "F" and the big yellow "I" was this nekkid cowboy wearing nothing but a hat and thigh-chaps with flashing red neon nipples. No wonder it's called "Forbidden" Island (FI)!! Can't wait! YEEEEEEEEE-HA!!

ps I also PERSONALLY know MAI TAI, he's been like to my house and all. The one I live in below OTTO. And yesterday BAMBOO BEN winked at me. So.....there.

AquaZombie wrote:
...we live 2 minutes driving time from this dive...

Does this mean you're invited back to our pads to sleep it off?
If you're Salma Hayek, mi casa es su casa. Otherwise, no...

AZ,

I am of the belief that you never heard of the 18+ TC'ers that staked out at Baxdog's house the night of International Tiki Day:

(photo by Floratina)

When you wake up at your pad the morning after Forbidden Island's grand opening, you better have Blue Pancakes on the griddle! haha

Who is this Otto?

On 2006-03-15 19:02, AquaZombie wrote:
And yesterday BAMBOO BEN winked at me. So.....there.

Was he wielding a blowtorch at the time?

This bar better have DARTS!! :lol:

On 2006-03-16 00:50, cynfulcynner wrote:

This bar better have DARTS!! :lol:

And those really loud dice cups you slam down on the bar and then scream - I love that!

On 2006-03-16 10:26, Tiki-bot wrote:

On 2006-03-16 00:50, cynfulcynner wrote:

This bar better have DARTS!! :lol:

And those really loud dice cups you slam down on the bar and then scream - I love that!

I ALREADY say the dice cups, and I did my slamming impersonation! BANG!!!

For those too uncool to know, OTTO invented TIKI. Long ago, my PAL and NEIGHBOR, OTTO, compelled by strange forces from beyond the universe, travelled to the South Seas where he lived for decades amongst the simple but stylish natives. While there he had many, many wahine wives (and least this is what he told me) and populated most of Polynesia. One night he had a strange vision of a god that looked a lot like him, and carved a statue in its image for the natives to worship when he eventually returned to the mainland. Modestly, he named the god TIKI. The first was one bald, smooth and cute, like him, but once he was gone, the natives made a bunch more, adding weird grimaces and sh*t, perpetuating the pagan pop culture we wannabes still celebrate today.

OTTO returned to the mainland to find his true love, exhausted by many moons of anonymous lovemaking with adoring native virgins. He also brought with him the secret recipes for the many, many exotic drinks he invented while in the islands, including the MAI TAI, from which Bill Graff STOLE his TC moniker outright!

Once he returned the the mainland, leaving behind his many children and worshippers, lonely OTTO decided to invent the TIKI BAR, a place where others could share his many astounding discoveries and intoxicating inventions. Some con artist named Vic ripped him off and then many other cheap imitations sprang up around the globe. Rather than getting mad, the kind and mighty OTTO started a magazine, called TIKI NEWS, to inform the masses of his original concepts. Then his true love BABY DOE came along and tamed Otto's wild spirit(s). He has not been heard from much lately, but his legacy continues.

Now Mike and Martin are creating their own monument to the great OTTO. Actually, OTTO and I stopped by last night and were very impressed with the progress being made. BAMBOO BEN was there all alone, stark naked except for his cowboy boots, drunkenly shooting nails around the room, but he stopped when we walked in. Nice guy. VAN HALEN was blaring from his transitor radio, and empty cans of SPAM and BUD LITE littered the floor. The paisley-patterned wall paper he was attempting to put up was AWESOME! The ambience was glorious and they're not even finished yet! I also noticed Ben had changed the sign from "FI" to "BI", explaining that Conga Mike wanted to switch the name of their bar to BROKEBACK ISLAND which would more accurately describe their project to the masses. Not sure Martin knows about this yet....

Anyway, seriously, this thing, whatever they call it, will kick major ASS, and YES I AM YELLING because I am SO DAMN EXCITED!

And of course, anyone is welcome to camp out on our lawn anytime, we're very humble and nice. I'll just deny any knowledge of you to the cops unless you're SALMA HAYEK (or look a lot like her....)

[ Edited by: AquaZombie 2006-03-16 11:25 ]

Oh yea, let it be known here for the first time, in case you haven't figured it out yet:

TIKI is Polynesian for OTTO!

If you don't believe me, count the number of letters in each word.....

So basically, that makes this OTTO CENTRAL, and BROKEBACK ISLAND or whatever they call it eventually is technically an OTTO BAR.

OTTO. MY NEIGHBOR.

Aloha, suckers.

OTTO is short for O'mighty Tremulent Tiki Omnipresence.

I'm not worthy...

I am very very excited about having a tiki bar within walking distance from my house.

Somebody stopped by my business a few sundays ago and dropped off Cards, My customers seem excited also. You should be off to a good start.

On 2006-03-16 14:17, princessP wrote:

Somebody stopped by my business a few sundays ago and dropped off Cards, My customers seem excited also. You should be off to a good start.

Which is your business? We are totally into creating aliances on the Island and supporting local businesses...

On 2006-03-16 14:17, princessP wrote:

I am very very excited about having a tiki bar within walking distance from my house.

Hey - look at that! She said it in just one sentence. :wink:

On 2006-03-16 22:12, Conga Mike wrote:
We are totally into creating aliances on the Island ...

I hope the tribe doesn't "vote me off"! :wink:

Please don't install one of these in your bar -- we prefer humans! 8)

http://homepage.mac.com/mmurph/bar/