Hawaiian Shirts/Dress like a Tiki Guy

I did a search and can't seem to find the "Official Aloha/Hawaiian Shirt" thread. Maybe I'm opening a can of worms here, but I know some of you (you know who you are) like to stir the pot. So here's a new pot to stir- What is considered proper tiki attire? One doesn't want to end up on the "FOM Tiki Event Fashion Police" thread! Are Cooke Street shirts considered to be the Party City Tikis of shirtdom? What about reverse print patterns in general? Reyn Spooner? Hilo Hattie? Iolani? Tori Richard? Kamehameha Garment Company? Cotton vs silk vs rayon vs polyester? Plastic vs wood vs abalone shell buttons? Subtle vs gaudy? Guayaberas? Paneled bowling shirts?

Let's hear it. I don't want you laughing behind my back at Oasis :o

Blurring the fine line between art and crap.

[ Edited by: MadDogMike 2009-01-05 06:24 ]

Hey Maddog:

the bottom of this old post may help you a bit:

Tiki Guy What Not to Wear

No matter what: Wear it with PRIDE!

Buzzy Out!

Thanks Buzz, here's that info for ready access

On 2007-11-24 12:45, Bay Park Buzzy wrote:

GMAN, let's see the man room update!
But let's talk about the above outfit...
Nice try, but you still need a little work before you will blend in at an event as a official Tiki Guy. You still look like you're wearing a Tiki Guy costume. Here is what you will need to change: (This is a preview of what you will look forward to in one of the dozen or so books I have on tap to author in the next few years. It will be in the same format as the Preppy handbook in the 80's. It will probably called Tiki Guy Modern)
First, the footwear. You got it half right with sandals and socks. But, you have the wrong sandals. You need those big strappy velcro things called "Teevas" with the socks. Tiki Guys need shoes with more straps because they get so drunk that they always lose shoes without seatbelts.
Secondly, Tiki Guys always wear shorts. Tiki Guy is about a state of mind. It's taking the Polnesian paradise at home fantasy to it's extreme. It's bringing the polynesian atmosphere wherever you are. A Tiki Guy on the summit of Mt Everest will be wearing shorts and drinking a Mai Tai, because in his mind, he is actually in Tahiti, where it's too hot to wear pants.
Third, is the shirt. That shirt you have on is only acceptable in the following situations: Casual Friday at the office, or if you are a contrator with your office in the back seat of your F350, it is what you wear to a business meeting(tucked in). Tiki Guys wear shirts that announce that they have arrived. the highest honor for a true Tiki Guy is to be asked to enter a costume contest when he is wearing the same outfit he wears to the grocery store. Try a lot more color. Remember, you want the old you to want to kick the new you's ass!
Next, The hat. Three letters: F-E-Z Problem solved!
And, Tiki Guys always wear sunglasses or have racoon eye tan lines. You can fake this easily with some spray on tan.
Lastly, the bling pendant: perfect! It actually almost negates all the other flaws in your attire.
Do all the changes I suggested and trade in that tiki you're holding for a ceramic limited edition numbered tiki event mug (that you bought on ebay) full of liquor, and you're on the Official Tiki Guy Registry.

If anyone else needs help with their aspiring Tiki Guy attire, just post a picture and I'll do the Tiki Guy version of What Not To Wear.

Buzzy Out!

Buzzy I assume the offer still stands, we post a picture and you'll critique the attire?

On 2009-01-04 16:11, MadDogMike wrote:

Buzzy I assume the offer still stands, we post a picture and you'll critique the attire?

Absolutely!

Here's another Tiki Guy Fashion 911 moment:

On 2008-10-16 22:17, Bay Park Buzzy wrote:

On 2008-10-02 19:00, tikifreak1 wrote:
Buzz? Can we be tiki-guys too?

It's not for me to decide or determine if you can be or are a Tiki-Guy. To be regarded as a true Tiki Guy, the public at large must be able to see and classify you as a Tiki Guy. The standards are very high, and only the fewest of the few can actually legally use the title of Tiki Guy.
I did, however, send your pictures to a Tiki Guy review panel composed of members of the public at large for evaluation and certification, to see if you guys were certifiably Tiki Guyed yet. Here's the results and notations from the panel:

Subject #1
Panel Review: Fail
Visual Evidence Review: Fail
Certification: Denied
Findings: Glasses are okay indoors, but must be placed one inch above eyes and racoon eye tan lines must be visible, even in low light conditions
The pendant is fine, but necklace cords made from animal products, as opposed to hemp, would be preferable.
You need to gain 100 pounds
Is that the same shirt that guy on the fishing show on tv was wearing?
The only way a Tiki Guy would wear pants like that was if he cut the legs off.
Shoes should only have velcro or stretchy straps. Shoes like those are for sober guys.
Nice tiki in your hand, but consider this: Your other hand has a drink that you "invented" and named in it. How are you going to stir your drink with that tiki in your hand? That's why you have Tiki mugs! You have a tiki and a drink and still have a free hand.

Thank you for you submittal for panel review.

Subject #2
Panel Review: Fail
Visual Evidence Review: Fail
Certification: Denied
Findings:
First off, you look too healthy to be a Tiki Guy. You need to look like you have some disease that people are being too polite to ask you what's wrong with you when they look at you. Try eating like Elvis for a while.
You look like you just got off work. Are those "work" pants? Tiki Guy and work do not go together. Career work for a Tiki Guy is being on disability. Occupational Tiki Guy work is refining your signature drink. You cannot look like you work a job, at all. You have to look like you do nothing but sit around and drink and eat appetizers all day like life is some sort of endless happy hour. Get some baggy cargo shorts with lots of pockets instead. And lose the job. Try to get carpal tunnel syndrome so it can be the cause of your new career change
Shoes: Tiki Guys are punkers who grew up. Lose the Vans. You can transition first with flip flops, but as you increase your daily alcohol consumption, you'll need strappy mandals.
You need to get fat. Real fat. Especially on your face.
Tshirts are okay, but only if they are from a tiki event and you wear them under a Hawaiian shirt(vintage)
It looks like you natural instinct is to carry a tiki. That's great, just switch it with a mug and fill it with booze.

Thank you for you submittal for panel review.

Oh well! Cheer up guys, at least you're having fun! Right...
Tiki Guys, who needs 'em?
Buzzy Out!

I will help all of you see the light!
Buzzy Out!

On 2009-01-04 14:52, Bay Park Buzzy wrote:

No matter what: Wear it with PRIDE!

Seriously, this is the key. I've seen the loudest shirt look stunning because the guy underneath gracefully wore the hell outta it. It's all about the attitude.

Before we go any further on this, can we please go back and correct the spelling of "Hawaiian" on this thread? I know what I am talking about, I misspelled "Hawaiian" in a published book..

Next, let me propose a variance to my motto (about any products that are labeled "Tiki")"If it has TIKI on it, it should have TIKI in it":
For shirts, the adage could be "If it has Tikis on it, there IS Tiki in it!", meaning that, generally, all Aloha shirts with Tikis on them identify you as a Tikiphile. I know, shirts with Tikis are hard to find, but before you start whining about unavailability, take as inspiring example (and style guide!) Tiki Kate's thread:

http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=23895&forum=5

Some of these shirts (and hundreds more) will be in my next tome, "The Look of Tiki", which will answer any and all questions about the "proper" Tiki look (albeit with mostly vintage shirts). :)

On 2009-01-04 17:51, bigbrotiki wrote:
Before we go any further on this, can we please go back and correct the spelling of "Hawaiian" on this thread? I know what I am talking about, I misspelled "Hawaiian" in a published book..

What misspelling? I don't see no misspelling :blush:

How soon can we expect to see "The Look of Tiki" at our local "tomestore"? What if I need help now?

Sometime later this year, so you will have to go by Kate's examples. Or peruse this company's inventory for style guidance, they have a lot of cool shirts...though they are mostly unaffordable to us common folk:

http://www.thehanashirtco.com/?p=primo_shirts&view_all=true

Here's a thread from 2005:
Inside Out Shirts

OK Buzzy, I bought a bright shirt in a color I usually wouldn't wear, then made a ceramic matching mug. Will that qualify me as a Tiki Guy?

This one is easy:

1.Vintage Aloha shirt
2.Tatts
3.Pompadour
4.Bad Attitude

Out of these, I only have numbers 1 and 4.

You forgot this very important hair option: Bald.

it's really not about the clothes...
you just have to be at least 300 pounds
very drunk
and bald and/or balding....

that's what makes a tiki guy a tiki guy!
and attitude,of course!

being ugly helps too!
:lol:

i hope this sarcasm font is still working!

I WIN!!!

On 2009-01-29 13:59, woofmutt wrote:
You forgot this very important hair option: Bald.

How could I EVER forget?

Mad Dog, that is a damn cool mug/shirt combo, what a genius concept! That is so mid-century. How come no one ever thought of this before.

You're gonna start a whole new Tiki trend: The shirt that goes with the mug! The mug that goes with the shirt!

Next: matching shorts.

Um, how about the Tiki girls? I have a lot of Hawaiian shirts but what kind of dresses should I be looking for in the thrift stores? Particularly for us older not so thin ladies? There are plenty of dresses with lovely summery island patterns but they tend to be just one type.

There is probably a city in China that makes these. Yuck!

Any ladies in the Tiki Hut?

"You're gonna start a whole new Tiki trend: The shirt that goes with the mug! The mug that goes with the shirt!" -bigbrotiki-

Followed by the whole new Tiki dilemma: "I can't wear that shirt, I don't have a mug that goes with it!"

On 2009-01-29 13:06, MadDogMike wrote:
OK Buzzy, I bought a bright shirt in a color I usually wouldn't wear, then made a ceramic matching mug.

Will that qualify me as a Tiki Guy?

Oh Mike, Mike, Mike...
I am so glad you came seeking the Tiki Guy certification. However, I may have some bad news for you.

You really need help, son.
First, I can answer your "Will THAT qualify me as a Tiki Guy?" question by asking you if you have the answer to this question: "Will WHAT qualify you as a Tiki Guy?" Certainly nothing I see in that picture.

The answer to your question, and the reason you are not a Tiki Guy dressed like that, are one and the same: (In my best BigBro accent: ) "Where are your tikis, Tiki Guy?"

A Tiki Guy MUST have TIKIS! Somewhere...

That's the first, and most obvious problem that you have. Let's go down the list:

Setting. Check out your environment. What are you standing in front of? A plain wall? If that was a picture of a real Tiki Guy, it would be of him in one of the following settings:

At an event with a corresponding TC event thread, (except for a BTD surf show evet), standing next to another TC Tiki Guy or the bartender.

At any functioning, open tiki bar

Next to any tiki, or tiki style structure found while travelling or on an urban archeological expedition

Posing in your own home bar/tiki room setting

At a minimum, grab a 4 x 8 sheet of lahala matting and staple it to your wall behing you. A little bamboo will go a long way to some Tiki Guy credibility.

The mug, while well executed on your part, has several things about it which are of major concern.

First of all, I do not think I need to point out that technically, that is not a "Tiki Mug" in your hand. A Tiki Guy always has a mug with a tiki on it, and there is no tiki on that mug. It's nice that it matches the shirt, but if you want that look, it would be more appropriate to have a vintage mug with a shirt that used that same vintage mug as one of its graphics.

Next, I have to ask: What's in that mug? Looks like nothing. A real Tiki Guy's mug would have all kinds of sweat on the outside of it because it was filled with a drink all day.
I also see no straws, umbrellas, garnishs, etc. on it. Any drink worth drinking to a Tiki Guy is worth making properly. At least make a stirrer stick. Preferably with a tiki on it

This isn't essential, but it may be helpful: You may want to get a larger mug than that. Your going to lose weight running up and down to fix a new drink every ten minutes with a mug that small.

Which brings me to the next area that needs a little work: your weight. Looking a little light there, slim jim. Think bacon and booze. You might want to switch to drinking heavy beer during the day just until you pack on a few pounds. It usually isn't acceptable to drink beer as a Tiki Guy, but for this purpose it is actually recommended. If you're excercising, quit that immediately.

The shirt is nice, but as you should well be aware by now, Hawaii is only marginally related to tiki, and therefore, Hawaiian shirts just barely qualify as acceptable. Samoa, on the other hand, certainly does not qualify. (I'm not going to go into all the reasons why not, beacause that is way off topic of the original intent of this thread and should be adresssed in another forum.) While acceptable at a tiki event, it is neither noteworthy or distinct, and therefore is unacceptable to wear by a true Tiki Guy. It needs to be louder. It needs to have tikis. Your tiki shirt should be able to signal a rescue helicopter with its brightness, or cause epileptics to have sudden, jolting seizures. That shirt looks like something you would wear to an outrigger gathering so you wouldn't have to be afraid of some big Samoans kicking your ass the whole time. Or some Marine dude stationed in Okanawa after his first leave to an exotic local. "Hey Ma, I just got back from Samoa and...."

Finally, wearing a pendant without a tiki on it is acceptable, but wearing a Tiki pendant is mandatory! You can have both, but if you only have one, it needs to be a tiki pendant.

You've come a long way MadDogMike, but you have even further to go.

Maybe you're trying too hard. It should come naturally. Kind of like manhood does.

Buzzy Out!

Is that an Afa Tasi shirt?

I have a Man Cloth ( forgot name)

with that same exact print/ font.

If it is an Afa Tasi shirt, you are

half way there.

( being that Kern from the Mai Kai is

part of Afa Tasi... and, the Mai Kai IS Tiki!!!)

The other half is NO WHITE WALLS! ( major fumble)

p.s. Sorry for jumping in here Big-Buzzy-Bro-Tiki.

I promis it won't/will happen again.

BigBroTiki, thank you sir.

BoBen, I knew that white wall would draw your ire! :lol: The shirt is by Forsgren LTD of Pagopago, Samoa. I don't have any particular fondness of Samoa, I just found the shirt cheap on eBay.

Dear Mr Buzzy
(meekly, with head bowed) i am sorry i have failed you. i have already eaten three desserts tonight in an effort to pack on a few pounds and will try to post a new picture tomorrow. the shirt and mug still won't be tiki, but at least i can improve the setting

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

On 2009-01-29 18:04, shampoovta wrote:
Um, how about the Tiki girls? I have a lot of Hawaiian shirts but what kind of dresses should I be looking for in the thrift stores? Particularly for us older not so thin ladies? There are plenty of dresses with lovely summery island patterns but they tend to be just one type.

There is probably a city in China that makes these. Yuck!

Any ladies in the Tiki Hut?

Shampy darling, I am gonna rock your world. I am currently designing some very cool skirts, shirts and purses for us lovely retro-modern wahines. My designs are inspired by Tiki style and retro 40's pinups. I also do custom designs, so if you have something special in mind, I can make it for you.
I would recommend staying away from the tie-dye in the meantime, though. It just reeks of the Grateful Dead. Hawaiian prints are easy enough to find (though prints with TIKIs are of course preferred!). I've noticed this problem and am working to solve your dilemma! Look for me soon in Creating Tiki/Tiki Marketplace, and on my myspace page: myspace.com/kikivontiki

Don't mean to sound like an advertisement - I'm just excited to see that others have noticed the same thing I have. Us Tiki gals need fun stuff to wear, too. :)
Maybe we should start our own thread. . .
Now back to your regularly scheduled Tiki Guy Fashion show! :wink:

OK Buzzy & BoBen, I hope this is better. I realize that no self-respecting Tiki Guy would be caught dead in long pants but decorum prevents me from exposing my lily-white legs in public. Now to go bald, gain 100 pounds, find a shirt with a TIKI on it and make a BIG matching mug!

On 2009-01-29 22:27, Kiki von Tiki wrote:

On 2009-01-29 18:04, shampoovta wrote:
Um, how about the Tiki girls? I have a lot of Hawaiian shirts but what kind of dresses should I be looking for in the thrift stores? Particularly for us older not so thin ladies? There are plenty of dresses with lovely summery island patterns but they tend to be just one type.

There is probably a city in China that makes these. Yuck!

Any ladies in the Tiki Hut?

Shampy darling, I am gonna rock your world. I am currently designing some very cool skirts, shirts and purses for us lovely retro-modern wahines. My designs are inspired by Tiki style and retro 40's pinups. I also do custom designs, so if you have something special in mind, I can make it for you.
I would recommend staying away from the tie-dye in the meantime, though. It just reeks of the Grateful Dead. Hawaiian prints are easy enough to find (though prints with TIKIs are of course preferred!). I've noticed this problem and am working to solve your dilemma! Look for me soon in Creating Tiki/Tiki Marketplace, and on my myspace page: myspace.com/kikivontiki

Oooo! Coolness! Patterns that would be nice are, volcanoes, VW buses or bugs, tiki and out riggers. Surfing is always sweet and Pirates are excellent. Looking for retro-modern cocktail dress.

Hawaiian shirts maybe fine, but what about Bermuda shorts :wink:

'Kinda thinking, never, ever, ever blue jeans.

And also, unless you are one amazingly stylistic hip Tiki dude-ette or dude, nothing should match. Compliment, yes, match, no.

On 2009-01-29 19:54, RevBambooBen wrote:
Is that an Afa Tasi shirt?

I have a Man Cloth ( forgot name)

with that same exact print/ font.

If it is an Afa Tasi shirt, you are

half way there.

( being that Kern from the Mai Kai is

part of Afa Tasi... and, the Mai Kai IS Tiki!!!)

The other half is NO WHITE WALLS! ( major fumble)

p.s. Sorry for jumping in here Big-Buzzy-Bro-Tiki.

I promis it won't/will happen again.

My ass is still hurting from the "paint your walls" Bamboo Ben ass kicking, so Ben here you go, are you happy now....I made the bar stool to match your Bar, hope you approve?

Your also right......I know......color is good.....

THAT does look good ATP!
Ben is like the Yoda of Structural Experience and lore...

Came upon this fashion spread recently in an old Tiki News, and thought it appropriate for a thread called "Dress Like a Tiki Guy" (trying their damndest to..) :

(photo insert: Poncie Ponce) Sven Kirsten, Jeff Berry, Wyndham Chow and Otto von Stroheim in 1997, sporting their favorite Tiki prints in Sven's frontyard. What a bunch swanky dudes... :D

Hah! I remember that picture. You guys are totally money. Do you also have that photo of you all sporting your Sandwich Island tapa sportcoats?

Not with me in Berlin right now :D

That's a great photo Sven, the big boys of Tiki decked out and havin some fun!

DC

On 2009-12-07 16:30, Dustycajun wrote:
"...the big boys of Tiki decked out and havin some fun!"

*aka, the Tiki/Industrial Complex, or the *Tiki Illuminati

[ Edited by: Limbo Lizard 2009-12-09 09:58 ]

Sorry, but to qualify for the moniker "industrial complex", there would have to be some level of commercialization to our work since that photo that would have generated monetary gains beyond paying for a couple of cocktails...

...and though "Tiki Illuminati" basically means "The Tiki enlightened", which I would accept, it also carries the connotation of a controlling, exclusive elite which I believe is far from the work put forth by each one of us.

To me the photo represents the three all-stars of the early Tiki game.

If it was golf, it would be like Player, Nicklaus, and Palmer.

In baseball, it would be like DiMaggio, Mantle, and Williams.

You know, the power hitters. The people who brought the game to the masses.

DC

I think a more compact "Rat Pack" or maybe a "Mod Squad" of Tiki elite, would be a better comparison.

On 2009-12-09 18:09, Atomic Tiki Punk wrote:
I think a more compact "Rat Pack" or maybe a "Mod Squad" of Tiki elite, would be a better comparison.

ATP,

Your right, that's better.

DC