Okay, so there's no way in heck it'll mix a drink nearly so lovely as our talented friends Martiki & Alnshely can, but for geeks like me, it sounds awfully danged keen!

The Lazy Drinker

That makes me sick! Technology is ruining all the arts, which mixing a good drink is. Laziness!!! Somewhere down the line we will probably be saying something like "I remember when I had to get off the couch to take a shit".
I'm drunk...

Hey, you're right to be appalled, but I don't think we're running any risk of losing any mixology artisans due to this thing. It ain't computer animation or anything. If it were to ever enter the commercial arena, it would be adopted only by those bars that already are carelessly producing really crappy drinks anyway.

On the home front, it just sounds like a fun toy! If I could pair it up with a robot....

Sometimes I just want the drink...

If they keep the computer that near the drinks, I don't think that's a good mix.

I like your outrage Flounder. I used a simular more complex type of thing Bartending at a fancy South Beach bar one night, pretty cool. Those lines(that the liqour flows through) get really nasty real quick though. As lazy as I can be I can't ever seeing myself not enjoying mixing a cocktail, part of the enjoyment for me. My Roomate however is probobly on her way to buy one.

I had a dream for a bar where on the bartender side of the bar counter was a conveyor belt that was constantly moving. People would order drinks and the bartender would enter the drink into a computer, then wait a little bit and the drink would come out on the conveyor belt through a hole in the wall. The when the drink was in front of the person who ordered it, the bartender would pick it up off of the belt and simply hand it to patron.

The whole concept though was simply to have this obsurdly mechanical space-age bar where the "bartenders" pushed buttons all day and did no real work, like George Jetson.

I don't need a lazy drinker computer.....I need a hard working computer to PAY for my drinks, that's the kind of technology I'm looking for. In reality I'm a little torn on this idea...because for the Tikiphiles such as ourselves, bars would be likely to serve a decent Fog Cutter with a computer than say your average 23 year old bartender.

Hmmmm the thought of ONE machine capable of playing exotic tunes, pouring the perfect Scorpion, and capable of complimenting me on my choice of Retro shirts is enticing. If it's also capable of baby-sitting and washing dishes.....I will be forced to embrace techonology!!!!

Although Hal from 2001 is also a scary thought as a bartender....

TB

Here's my scenario.

All the crappy bartenders lose their jobs because "auto-souse" can mix a rum and coke and pour a bud light as well as any scab.

The sophisticate awakens in 30 percent of the bar patrons and they long for a real drink made with human touch.

They fuel a new wave of vintage bars.

I can finally get a freaking Mai Tai with orgeat and fresh mint in a bar.

I said FRESH mint!!

Bring on the friggin' robots.
I'll fly The Jab and Martiki and Jeff Berry in and start throwing some recipes at them that will leave them a smoldering tangle of syrupy circuitry... much like Flounder's mind.

On 2004-02-11 19:39, hanford_lemoore wrote:
I had a dream for a bar where on the bartender side of the bar counter was a conveyor belt that was constantly moving. People would order drinks and the bartender would enter the drink into a computer, then wait a little bit and the drink would come out on the conveyor belt through a hole in the wall. The when the drink was in front of the person who ordered it, the bartender would pick it up off of the belt and simply hand it to patron.

This kinda reminds me of Mai Kai in reverse!
Aome weird negative reality inversion....

You know, how the bartenders there are invisible, in the back room, and you order a drink and then it just shows up, like magic, in the server's hands...

Will this thing sqeeze fresh lime?

What about all the other juices?

If you order lets say a Zombie, which of the 30 recipes would you get.

Also this thing would have to be a hell of a lot bigger than 32 bottles!
Trader Vic's Bartenders Guide list 61 liqueurs and a dozen rums. Then you need vodka, gin, and yes even tequila.

Oh yeah, will this thing be remote controlled? I would hate to have to get up to push the Zombie button.

Flounder,
Here's some code to help you out.

10 Make Zombie
20 GOTO 10
run

The future is already here:

Full thread here:

https://tikicentral.com/viewtopic-new.php?topic=4221&forum=6

Where the hell is my Flying Car and Moon City?!

Now someone needs to develop the Lazy Puker so we don't have to mess with that either.

On 2004-02-12 09:31, Atomic Cocktail wrote:
Where the hell is my Flying Car and Moon City?!

Ladies and Gentleman I give you the Model M400 Skycar
Now accepting deposits

and a short from Kevin Smith featuring Randal and Dante from Clerks.

Being a big ol' geek, I think it's pretty cool, if it can measure a 1/4 teaspoon and a dash right. I somehow doubt, but it could work. Load everything up and connect it to the touch screen they already likely have in the restaurant/bar, and an ice crusher. No need for bartenders, so then you hire the best looking, smooth talker out there to concentrate on pushing the booze.

I just really have huge doubts about how well it would handle small amounts, plus, it would need to purge the tubes between drinks or they all run together. It could be done. Most bars have that multi thing that spurts Coke and water and Soda already. This ups it a notch...

And then you take it a step further. This is what I have wanted to do for a long time. Put a touch screen at the table or on the waiting line. Let the customer order. They are lookign at the menu. It would speed things up. They could even swipe their card and pay right there. Fast, perfect service for the savy, and fast turnover. You could even put in a tip on that drink for an extra 1/2 ounce of gin in your drink...

I've figured out a way to make the lazy drinker even LAZIER:
Use those pre-mixed concoctions available at any supermarket!
With all the time you save, you might even go back in time! All while drinking horrrendous cocktails!

What a life that would be! Huzzah!

[ Edited by: Slacks Ferret on 2004-02-12 12:01 ]

Handling very small amounts of liquid with high precision has become a trivial thing over the past decade; there have been huge advances in the field of microfluidics, where you deal with microliters of fluid (think one millionth of a dash). Right now, most of that work is being done with semi-expensive glass capillaries, but new developments have been made in using super-cheap silicone chips (that's silicone, not silicon -- bathroom caulk, essentially). Under either platform, cleaning is pretty easy, just add a flushing stage with a solvent.

If any of you are interested in more information, here's a really kick-ass article a colleague of mine had a while back in Science.

The best tiki bar is the one that's within stumbling distance of your bed
The Humuhumu Room

[ Edited by: Humuhumu on 2004-02-12 12:16 ]

It could work just like a paint mixer with more and refridgerated inputs. If the inputs go straight to the container, no purge cleaning is needed, but you'd need lots of spouts in there.

This is really ideal for the exacting amounts in a Tiki Drink, but bad for the large number of ingredients involved. I once made a list of all the stuff called for in every recipe in the Grog Log and made a list of what to buy. It's a lot of stuff!

Unga,

That's no joke. The drive-thru liquor store is already alive here in Florida. I've also heard that in New Orleans there are drive-thru bars that'll mix you a drink for the road. Louisianans please confirm or deny.

-JTD

You get off the couch? Man, what a good idea...tee, hee, hee....

Matt

On 2004-02-11 18:32, FLOUNDERart wrote:
That makes me sick! Technology is ruining all the arts, which mixing a good drink is. Laziness!!! Somewhere down the line we will probably be saying something like "I remember when I had to get off the couch to take a shit".
I'm drunk...

What will that Spielberg come up with next?

BtB

I frankly would miss not talkin' to a bartender.... but I think people would still want some kinda personal service.... a smiley face and a handshake.....bartenders should be appreciated for making a good drink. Maybe give people a choice to use a machine or a live human being.

On 2004-02-12 09:58, Tiki_Bong wrote:
Now someone needs to develop the Lazy Puker so we don't have to mess with that either.

In 7th grade, my english teacher one day at the end of class told us to write down the thing we hate doing the most. My friend Danny Crawford wrote "puking." The next day, we were assigned to write an advertising commercial for a machine that does the most hated thing, which you wrote the day before. THAT LUCKY BASTARD!

I was stuck with a damn LAWN MOWING MACHINE, but then, those havent been invented yet either, so it was a a fun and creative assignment in all!

[ Edited by: chase_317 on 2004-02-12 21:13 ]

On 2004-02-11 19:39, hanford_lemoore wrote:
I had a dream for a bar where on the bartender side of the bar counter was a conveyor belt that was constantly moving.

Ooh, better yet, could be like one of those sushi bars where they just put random drinks on the boats. You grab the one you want and they charge you based on the style of the glass or mug.

And hey, I hear that there's yet another plateau of laziness for the truly anti-ambulatory drinker; my friend tells me in England they have bars where they atomize the liquor and you simply breathe it in - none of that strenuous drinking! What wondrous times to be an alcoholic!