Mana in a Plastic Uke [Warning: Adult Material]

During the Fifties,the Maccaferri company made about nine million plastic ukes.

Toy instruments that sounded quite good.

But,I found out that they have another usage...In my copyrighted story, "Guitar Fetish" (published excerpt in 1985's "Hawaii Play Lei") I recounted the story
of when I was just a young boy...and saw a country-and-western televison music
show where someone played the old-style lap steel ("Hawaiian") guitar; the pedal
steel hadn't been invented yet...this was about 1953.

I had a plastic ukulele,and laid it across my lap,trying to imitate the musician's
actions. The throbbing,sticky rhythms of the steel guitar from the music soaked into
the ukulele...and vibrated it against my private parts (I was wearing only pajamas.)

I thought I was in heaven...especially when I found out how to put the uke between
my legs and get that beautiful feeling. It felt so good that I passed out...and
became a lifelong fetish.

So,this "straight" guy can truly appreciate wahines playing guitars...especially
electric ones...and I've an idea for converting some of those old plastic ukes into
sex toys!

Now that is a genuinely weird post! Congrats! Ukelele stuff was always too "pre-Tiki" for me, but this here sounds interesting. :D

Hey, now that this is out of the bag, maybe we can finally start a thread that discusses the Tiki as a phallus symbol !!! (...and I don't mean that Tiki dildo thread from last summer!)

[ Edited by: mymotiki 2008-06-14 20:36 ]

You're kidding, right? It is about time that the Tiki motto "Less Virtual Reality, More Ritual Virility" gets implicated here. Tiki culture should represent a haven that is free of the American paranoia regarding anything related to sexuality. Sexual experiences are not evil...dig?

[ Edited by: mymotiki 2008-06-14 20:37 ]

Yeah well, that seems to be one of the few things that American guys can come up with when the subject of sexuality is brought up...you know, it actually is about much more than that. :) ...err, how old are you?

[ Edited by: mymotiki 2008-06-14 20:38 ]

I am sorry, a thing like that will spoil your "sexual freedom" outlook a bit. The best way to handle such nonsense is to laugh it off. And to not throw it all into one pot.

I myself am kinda dissappointed that 99.9% of the Tiki revival Tikis have been carved sans phallus so far....it's like the missionaries have won! C'mon, WHAT is the definiton of a Tiki, Book of Tiki, page 22, number 3 !?

[ Edited by: mymotiki 2008-06-14 20:38 ]

[i]On 2008-01-09 23:23, bigbrotiki wrote:
I myself am kinda dissappointed that 99.9% of the Tiki revival Tikis have been carved sans phallus so far....it's like the missionaries have won! C'mon, WHAT is the definiton of a Tiki, Book of Tiki, page 22, number 3 !?

That is one of my favorite definitions of Tiki.
One would expect the Marquesan Tiki style to be more popular, but disappointingly, it is not.

With hundreds of bare-breasted women plastered across yards of velvet, hung on walls and enamored as collectibles, no reason ya can't have a sexual appreciation for a toy uke (whatever floats your outrigger).

I like Tiki art that has a little shock value to it. I don't have a big Tiki in my home as I am waiting to find the right one for me, and I sure like this one.

I agree, that the phallus should not be devoid or hidden. This guy certainly has it going on and I think the picture as a whole is quite beautiful.

Bring on the uke!!!

I thought Tiki was the original man on Earth in Maori mythology and, before it took on its myriad other meanings, was always a phallic symbol.

I too think that we are much too up tight about sexuality in this country
. The artist Jesus posted in the above picture and a few others and was shunned ny most TCers. How many TCers besides Vampiress and I welcomed him?
Many Tiki have been mutilated since missionary influence.
The same thing happened in America in the 1930's after the Hayes commission. It started to relax in the sixties when my mother did the Trade Wind's and Lobster Trap which both had nudity as part of the art.
The Lobster Trap still has the paintings which have been mutilated, the breasts have been painted over and the bronze mermaid had her nipples ground off. Watch a episode of Monty Python Flying Circus here and its been censored for American TV.

Mymotiki, thank you for understanding where I am coming from ...though you yourself pc-edited your posts so that my replies don't make much sense now :)
But that is OK, everyone has the right to do that here if they feel they said too much.

I am glad that rronald did not edit his so far, I did not want him to get scared away (though he might've scared some of you away :D ) I find it very entertaining to imagine him performing his act in a clown suit :wink:

Vamp, I missed that Marquesan Mama when it was initially posted, who did it, and where is it now? I like the way the private part was rendered, it reminds me of the New Guinea original that the Trader Vic's logo was based on (BOT p.247)

I have a classic old plastic uke, and although the line drawing hula girls on the headstock are certainly alluring, the Arthur Godfrey "uke player" chord playing button device is a real turn off.

Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against artificial sexual stimulants or anything like that, but as a musician, I feel someone should truly learn all their chords before placing the uke between their legs and getting off.

Granted, I could just take the "uke player" off and go it old school, but I've been told that would severely effect the value of a classic Arthur Godfrey Plastic Uke.

So no experimentation has begun, yet.

I have questions about chords though. Are there certain chords that feel better?
Are major chords like a romp in the hay whereas minor chords are a more solemn and quieter church choir loft tryst?

And what about diminished and augmented chords? Is that too kinky?

Do whole tone scales immediately bring about a dream sequence feel?

Thanks in advance for any further information you can offer.

Stand up bass work's too.

Welcome to T.C. you stinking perv... put me down for 2 when you start selling them!!

Check out Ronalds myspace and you'll get a little more of the era he comes from.....

Hey he met Phil [put the gun down] Spector ...

[ Edited by: mymotiki 2008-06-14 20:38 ]

I'd Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me
Than a Frontal Lobotomy

[ Edited by: mymotiki 2008-01-10 16:06 ]

Howzit,GraniteTiki (and others):

There have been but two books about the subject of guitar fetishism (as I'd
been talking about). Which explains why the guitar (or its versions,such as
the uke) is the world's most popular instrument:COMBINING culture with sex!

Read: "Instruments of Desire" (by Waksman)
and,recently, "Guitar Eros" (by Belmondo)

Linda Ronstadt once had an interview whereby she actually said,that steel guitar
music conveys "sadness at the heart of sexual excitement."

Ironically,this explains why wahines have rarely played that instrument. It's
a severe form of sexual titillation...as its rhythms,resemble an orgasm...and,
amplified,CAUSES such...perhaps responsible for more "holo-holo" (LOL!!) than
anything else. Ironically,the lap steel "Hawaiian" guitar was the FIRST electric
guitar...AND, early models were made OF PLASTIC!!

During the conservative Fifties,plastic ukes were also made that were RED and
BLACK. Those are "fetish" colors...adding to the mystique.

BTW, there used to be a website called "Naked Uke"...with pinups of comely wahines..
that was meant for "adult" entertainment,but some young boys accidentally got on it
their parents complained,and that website got closed.

Mahalo for your comments. And more photos of WAHINES,please!

My daughter has my baby grand piano at her mother's house now, but when I used to have it, the girls I used to play for loved to sit on top while I tickled a lot more than just the 88s. But the piano is not really built for the do-it-yourselfer.

Uhuh...yes...hmm...verry interesting, guys...tell me more!

On 2008-01-10 10:54, rronald33 wrote:
And more photos of WAHINES,please!

Here's some pictures to help you through those long, lonely nights:

I would have put a picture of Avril Lavgne up, but if you jerk off to it or find some sort of sexual stimulation or gratification from it, it might technically be child porn under most legal definitions of said material, and i wouldn't want your fetishes to get you in trouble.

Enjoy yourself, and if you ever have the opportunity, practice safe sex!

Buzzy Out!

[ Edited by: Bay Park Buzzy 2008-01-10 13:50 ]

[ Edited by: mymotiki 2008-06-14 20:40 ]

Now that is pretty perverse stuff there, Buzzy....those haircuts are clearly illegal!

However, I think rronald is looking more for something like this:

Don't forget about Nancy Wilson of "Heart"
Interesting picture bigbrotiki.

[ Edited by: mymotiki 2008-01-10 14:53 ]

On 2008-01-10 09:02, RevBambooBen wrote:
Check out Ronalds myspace and you'll get a little more of the era he comes from.....

And talking of girls with Guitars, your Myspace page has picture of my good freind Bridgitte Handley, small world.

Howzit...FYI,people,the gals with instruments are:

Lita Ford; Vixen; and Nanilua Moe,with the Tau Moe Family.

I met Vixen personally. I met Nanilua Moe from the Tau Moe Family,because I lived

on Oahu,1982-87. If I remember correctly,she worked at the office of the Polynesian

Cultural Center for awhile. Vixen,of all people,happened to visit Gussie L'Amour's-

a BAR near the Honolulu Airport, around 1984,shortly after they'd been in that

infamous beach movie, "Hardbodies".

The first two guitar wahines are rock and roll. That kine stimulation is sort of

pleasant,but rough. Steel guitar music has a different erotic kine "texture" to

it. I've heard of Princess Owana Salazar...THAT would be interesting! She's

talented (and horny) enough to play lap steel!

Mahalo for having mentioned Bridgitte Handley. I happened to do a little music

reviewing,and I've met her,too....she's good rock and roll.

Hey RRonald,

Any memories of Hollywood Tiki bars besides TV's?

I have heard of Kaki King. She did a song on YouTube called "They Loved It in
Italy". It's percussive...and exciting... on lap steel. Sort of an "interrupted
stimulation". Fittingly,such an artist does indeed refer to sex in her songs!

Bass notes on steel are emotional. If one can figure out how to play that octave.

BigBro...great carving by 4WDtiki definitely gonna get one of his gals in the future. :)

Give track 10 a sample listen. :D

Learn how to play that uke real swell & you'll never suffer from the dredded Polynesian disease called Lakanooki.

Hot Ukulele Porn!

I must admit, there is nothing like a woman playing a cello (no, I didn't say jello) between her legs.

Uh, sorry to tell you this Unga Bunga, but that ain't no lady.

More like the Marilyn Manson of Ukes. :D

This guy looks like he is enjoying his Uke.

I play ukulele in a couple of bands and I can tell you there's plenty of uke envy out there.

What about another Marilyn (Monroe)?

That's a wahine with a uke...from her movie "Some Like It Hot".

Which produced a great fetish photo...

Seems like this thread should be in "Beyond Tiki" rather than "General Tiki".

I agree with Grog. I was going to suggest bilge based upon the first post!

GROG is wise. Moved.

should have been moved to music it about ukuleles

Well,"sex in music" is TWO categories...it's acually
a "crossover" subject,

The (plastic) ukulele DOES have "mana" (sexual energy/
fetishism) associated with it. It focuses that energy.

BTW,fitting that "Some Like It Hot" came out just before
Hawaii became a state...certainly,interest in ukuleles
was at a peak or something.

that tiki has a woody

On 2008-01-12 12:36, GROG wrote:
Seems like this thread should be in "Beyond Tiki" rather than "General Tiki".

I agree...perhaps even a different site?

My update to this thread:

(1) The "Hawaiian" (lap steel) guitar is also an electric guitar. This means it can be FELT as well as heard.
(2) I think the rhythms of the steel guitar correspond EXACTLY to the rhythms of sex. For at least 50 years this kind of music was used by a LOT of people for baby-making purposes! Avante-garde pedal steel player Susan Alcorn,admits that part of steel guitar playing has sexual climaxes in it,LOL!!
(3) I don't think it's an accident that a certain big plastic ukulele (made by Mattel in 1957) was colored red-and-black (fetish colors).
(4) The eroticism associated with steel guitar music also explains why (until recently) few wahines ever played it.Also,in 1969,certain Japanese "men's" magazines ran photos of comely wahines with (guess what-plastic ukes) coyly covering their genital regions....

The above is all a function of guitar fetishism. Mixing sex with music is essential to human culture,and is "socially redeeming". I hope someday someone will make a movie about guitar fetishism...observing my copyrights,of course! (I'd heard about 20 years ago,that somebody was going to make a documentary called "The Wild Thing" with such musicians as Bonnie Raitt...but nothing seems to have come of that.)

It's the return of the "Ukulele Masturbation" thread, good times indeed.....