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Beyond Tiki, Bilge, and Test / Beyond Tiki

Martha Stewart Smuggling Contraband into Jail

Pages: 1 9 replies

C
christiki295 posted on 10/28/2004

Assistant Uses Cake To Smuggle Cake-Decorating Set To Martha Stewart
ALDERSON, WV—Authorities at Alderson Federal Prison have detained Becki Uecker, Martha Stewart's personal assistant, for smuggling a cake-decorating kit to her boss in an almond three-layer cake with lemon-zest icing. "Ms. Uecker attempted to pass a Dessert Decorator Pro to Ms. Stewart during visiting hours," corrections officer Frank Wickler said. "Although this device may be perfect for making stars, leaves, and rosettes, it's considered contraband at a correctional facility." In addition to the frosting gun, the kit included six nickel-plated tips, two tip couplers, and a storage bag.

http://www.theonion.com/nib/index.php?issue=4043&nib=1

[ Edited by Humuhumu to fix incorrect link ]

[ Edited by: Humuhumu on 2004-10-28 09:23 ]

M
martiki posted on 10/28/2004

EDIT: Rant removed due to my rampant stupidity. Yes, I read the Onion, you fuckers. Just...not this week apparently.

[ Edited by: martiki on 2004-10-28 08:06 ]

[ Edited by: martiki on 2004-10-28 17:27 ]

H
Humuhumu posted on 10/28/2004

Worry not, dear martiki, your world is not as wrong as you think. That's a fake news item from The Onion. No more posting before you have your first coffee.

S
SES posted on 10/28/2004

Hahahahah... I just laughed more at Martiki's response than the Onion article itself. Espresso?

:wink:

T
Traderpup posted on 10/28/2004

Martiki --

I strongly recommend a subscription to The Onion.... an excellent top notch news source.

D
dangergirl299 posted on 10/29/2004

those things sound awfully painful to "kiester"!

H
Humuhumu posted on 10/29/2004

In martiki's defense, when he posted his rant, the link above wasn't working, and wasn't obviously from The Onion, so he only had christiki's text to go on.

But it was funny! :)

Z
ZebraTiki posted on 10/29/2004

As The Onion would say:
"Area Man Outraged by Outrageous News, Neighbors Cannot Get Word in Edgewise."
:) It was good stuff.

C
christiki295 posted on 10/29/2004

On 2004-10-28 18:22, Humuhumu wrote:
In martiki's defense, when he posted his rant, the link above wasn't working, and wasn't obviously from The Onion, so he only had christiki's text to go on.

But it was funny! :)

The jokes on me. That site was recommended to me without the disclaimer.

However, it was a hilarious story and I totally ate it up.

UB
Unga Bunga posted on 10/29/2004

On 2004-10-28 08:06, martiki wrote:
Yes, I read the Onion, you fuckers.

:D

Pages: 1 9 replies