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Beyond Tiki, Bilge, and Test / Bilge

Bilge Grand Membership

Pages: 1 34 replies

By now I'm sure you've noticed that ALL the COOL people post in the 'Bilge' forum.

So what you may ask. So what you ask? Consider this: other 'Grand Memberships' cost $25 or more and offer you nothing but an exclusive forum to post in.

But now, for a limited time only, Tiki_Bong Reproductions is proud to offer you an exclusive 'Grand Membership' in the Bilge forum for the lowest price yet $24.99.

Listen to what you'll receive when your remittance is received at [email protected]:

  • Personnalized derogatory messages aimed at increasing your self-esteem.
  • Hydrogen atoms you can split at home for 'unlimited power'.
  • Your name on the 'Bilge Wall of Honor' upon your death or dismemberment.
  • 50% discount at participating Montgomery Ward stores.
  • Quarterly Newsletter (if and when I get around to it).
  • Bong's recipe for 'Texas Beef Skillet'.
  • Bankruptcy advisory services.
  • Free straw.
  • Animal instinct.
  • Sherpa guide service in the Hollywood Hills.
  • Tire pressure consultation.
  • Tips on avoiding personal responsibility.
  • Jewelry-grade limestone.
  • Additional memory space.
  • Additional mammory space.
  • List of Maslow's Hierarchy of Preferences.

Note - items depend on availability.

Just listen to these testimonials:

"yeah, it's great" Mr. Tiki Bong
"I'd order today" Mr. Tiki Bong
"This is the best Grand Membership" Mr Tiki Bong
"30 weight" Mr. Tiki Bong

(man, all this rain is making me extremely bored)

Would I be able to get "Divorce" advisory services instead of "Bankruptcy" or would that cost extra?

UB

I think we are going to have to change the name to the "Bong Bilge Forum".

H

Bilge away Bong, we are all bored from the rain and stuck at home. And to be quiet frank we have nothing else to do than read your posts.

T

On 2005-01-09 12:51, aquaorama wrote:
Would I be able to get "Divorce" advisory services instead of "Bankruptcy" or would that cost extra?

I think those are 1 in the same.

Sweet, where and how does a guy like me sign up for a chance of a life time offer like this. For $24.99 there's got to be a catch. Maybe I am just falling victem to BONG'S subliminal advertising. No wait Bong is my friend everybody likes Bong!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

i want to buy an official Tiki_Bong Bilge Grand Membership t-shirt...

Bong you are truly the master of self promotion.

You should call it the Bilge Rat Membership.

Arrrrr!!!

I'm in.

However, can I pay my fees in Yap Islands Stone Money?

When is the "Bilge Cocktail" recipe contest.?

Can I live in (or at, or near) your house?

Will their be a Bilge Grand Membership pin as well?

DZ

What about a Bilge cookbook?

bucket o' bilge?

I'm in, but I'll be paying in Canadian dollars

Muhahaha

And I'd like a bilge bucket for my head thankyouverymuch

I'm just waitin' for Hanford to gimme the "go code" and I'm in.

Bilge Grand Member Testimonials:

I can't believe it's not butter!!!

I stopped weighing myself but I know I'm losing weighty because my pants fit better!

Vaginal herpes USED to get me down.

Hey Bong, I want my money back!!!

On 2005-10-19 23:38, Hakalugi wrote:
Hey Bong, I want my money back!!!

... tikigardener will be happy to get your money back for you...

R

I guess only "Bilge Grand Members" get to have negative number of posts next to their name. They're so lucky! All I have is a stupid little star.

Bong used to have the most posts, then he became a Bilge Grand Member, now he has the lowest number of posts, -12 and counting. Keep up the good work brother.

H

What does -12 mean anyway!

On 2005-10-20 19:15, hiltiki wrote:
What does -12 mean anyway!

Perhaps this is what happens when that Permanent Record catches up with you after being banned from TC?

Or maybe he's offending people in absentia and it turns his old posts to negative numbers. You know how easily riled those Absentians are.

The "Bilge Grand Members" are those of us who prefer to jaywalk instead of using the crosswalk. The scofflaws that fill up their glove boxes with parking tickets until the car gets impounded. The people that BREAK GLASS when there's no EMERGENCY. The "Renegades" from the movie Zardoz. Folks that may not consider themselves "blues fans" but do remember lyrics like:

If the river wuz whiskey,I'd be a divin' duck
I'd swim down to the bottom and drink my way back up

I gotta tombstone hand and a graveyard mind
I'm jus' twenty-two and I don't mind dyin'

Rather drink muddy water, sleep in a hollow log
than be down here in Texas treated like a low-down dog

You know who you are!

H

Nah, Bilge Grand Membership is more for folks who would rather spend their time discussing "What's Your Favorite Color of Cheese?" than talking about tiki stuff.

Nacho orange.

K
Kono posted on Sat, Oct 22, 2005 9:56 AM

On 2005-10-22 00:21, Shipwreckjoey wrote:
The "Bilge Grand Members" are those of us who prefer to jaywalk instead of using the crosswalk.

Don't jaywalk in St Petersburg!

B

On 2005-10-22 01:41, Humuhumu wrote:
Nah, Bilge Grand Membership is more for folks who would rather spend their time discussing "What's Your Favorite Color of Cheese?" than talking about tiki stuff.

Or, are too lazy to get out and build their tiki bar. It is much more fun to play than work. I joined eight months ago to get help building my bar, and all I have done is made a few drunken posts and a few drunken friends.
I like the color of the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese powdered cheese mix, before you add the water.

I used to like smoked gouda, but when I tried smoking it myself I got a terrible headache, and now my burps taste like cheese.

On 2005-10-23 20:25, tikitortured wrote:
I used to like smoked gouda, but when I tried smoking it myself I got a terrible headache, and now my burps taste like cheese.

Dude- That is a great idea!!! I am going to have to try that A.S.A.P.. I don't understand how this isn't Tiki??? In fact I am going to try to Carve a Lono out of cheese and put in Creating Tiki(if I have time) :roll: !!!

[ Edited by: The Sperm Whale 2005-10-23 21:28 ]

Hey, I spent 3 straight days in the bilges of the frigate I used to serve on cleaning oil and diesel film off the bulkheads for this big inspection we had. Does that qualify me for "bilge" grand membership?

If so, sign me up!

RR

On 2005-10-23 21:13, The Sperm Whale wrote:

Dude- That is a great idea!!! I am going to have to try that A.S.A.P.. I don't understand how this isn't Tiki??? In fact I am going to try to Carve a Lono out of cheese and put in Creating Tiki(if I have time) :roll: !!!

[ Edited by: The Sperm Whale 2005-10-23 21:28 ]

Don't use the cheese itself. Buy the little Baby Bell cheese that is in red wax and mold a moai.

R

On 2005-10-23 21:13, The Sperm Whale wrote:
[In fact I am going to try to Carve a Lono out of cheese and put in Creating Tiki(if I have time) :roll: !!!

I think I just cut the cheese. Does that men I just created tiki?

MT

On 2005-10-22 01:41, Humuhumu wrote:
Nah, Bilge Grand Membership is more for folks who would rather spend their time discussing "What's Your Favorite Color of Cheese?" than talking about tiki stuff.

Bleu!

On 2005-10-24 01:55, JimTandem wrote:
Hey, I spent 3 straight days in the bilges of the frigate I used to serve on cleaning oil and diesel film off the bulkheads for this big inspection we had. Does that qualify me for "bilge" grand membership?

I just spent the last 3 days in the bilges of the USS Jarrett (FFG-33) inspecting sea-valves. I can relate.

"The things I do for King and Country" - Bond...James Bond

J

SWJoey,

I did my active duty on the USS Copeland(FFG-25) and reserve duty on the USS Duncan(FFG-10). I heard the Copeland was sold to the Egyptian Navy after they decommissioned her. Man that sucks if true.

Anyway, I can vouch for your Bilge Grandmembership if you need a reference!

Pages: 1 34 replies