I Need to cast a SPELL! Make it NASTY!

I need some tikiscary spells, please.

My brother is EXTREMELY SELFISH.

He has decided to get married on JULY 9th, in BRAZIL. And I have to be there a few days before for some rehersal crap, and leave a few days later after seeing family. sigh

JULY 9TH?!?! Can you BELIEVE how SELFISH non-tiki people can be?!?!

Isnt there some voodoo spell or some tribal thing I can chant, to make him get severe hemroids or something?

Thanks for the gris-gris.

~Tikilicious

PS: Chicago peeps, and everyone going to the Exotica event this year, PLEASE take LOTS of pictures for me. PLEASE. Of EVERYTHING. Mahalo! :)

I have had varying results with this one:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0316488399/qid=1118354997/sr=8-7/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i2_xgl14/103-4450761-5792661?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

Although it comes from a Eastern European "gypsy" background, not a Polynesian one.

Logistically, can't you come down with a case of flu, or a case of "I can't find my passport"?

hmmmm, you know, as awful as missing Exotica sounds, when might you get a chance to go to Brazil again?

And, in theory, 'you only get married once!' (although my brother did the same thing only it was Boulder CO, and his second marriage, but very short notice! He gave us all the option of not making it, which is nice...) You can always bail on his second wedding!

They'll be having Exotica again, you may regret not going to Brazil for his wedding!

Hey, the wedding is late by a month!

In Brazil, aren't hearts supposed to be entertained in June?

Well, I hope the bride and groom manage to stand beneath and amber moon and softly murmrur: "someday soon...".

Have fun - and I agree with Ms. Pineapple: a trip to Brazil trumps a Tiki event (gasp!), and anyway, Hukilau is in your hometown this year - lots to look forward to.

Remember: tomorrow was another day.

Oogie-Boogie Hootchie-Cootchie Eenie-Meanie Chile-Beanie! May the Groom have 'roids for a week!!!

I checked, but there is no "SpellCentral.com" I did, however, find a spell for breking up marriages: http://www.spellsandmagic.com/breakmarriage.html at http://www.spellsandmagic.com/spells.html.

If you feel guilty afterwards, here is the spell for reversing the previous spell: http://www.spellsandmagic.com/reversal_spell.html

You could always have a stranger tell your brother how handsome he is, something my strega nonna would have been agast at ("Malocchio! Malocchio!").