TM
Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 4105
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TM
Politically incorrect?
Everybody was kung-fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightning
But they fought with expert timing
They were funky China men from funky Chinatown
They were chopping them up and they were chopping them down
It's an ancient Chineese art and everybody knew their part
From a feint into a slip, and kicking from the hip
Everybody was kung-fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightning
But they fought with expert timing
There was funky Billy Chin and little Sammy Chung
He said here comes the big boss, lets get it on
We took a bow and made a stand, started swinging with the hand
The sudden motion made me skip now we're into a brand knew trip
Everybody was kung-fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightning
But they did it with expert timing
(repeat)..make sure you have expert timing
Kung-fu fighting, had to be fast as lightning
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B
Joined: Aug 10, 2004
Posts: 9222
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B
On 2009-07-04 16:52, Shipwreckjoey wrote:
I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job.
I'm your average white suburbanite slob.
I like football and porno and books about war.
I got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.
My wife and my job, my kids and my car.
My feet on my table...and a cuban cigar.
But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
no way
No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,
While people behind me are going insane.
I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole
I use public toilets and I piss on the seat,
I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?"
I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,
While handicapped people make handicapped faces.
I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole
Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
NAAAAH!
I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole
(Spoken)
Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado
Convertible, hot pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow
interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm
gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles per hour, getting 1 mile
per gallon, suckin' down quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's
in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers and when
I'm done suckin' down those greaseball burgers I'm gonna wipe my mouth
on the American Flag and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers
right out the side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can
do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why Two
words: Nuclear fuckin' weapons, OK? Russia, Germany, Romania, they
can have all the democracy they want...they can have a big democracy
cakewalk right through the middle of Tienamen Square and it won't make
a lick of difference, because we got the bombs, OK? John Wayne's not
dead, he's frozen! And as soon as we find a cure for cancer, we're
gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know
why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15
million times, that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be.
I'm gonna get the Duke and John Casavetti and Lee Marvin
and Sam Peckinpaw
and a case of whisky
and drive to Texas...(HEY, HEY HEY!>
Why don't you shut up and sing the song, pal?
I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole
A S-S H-O L-E
Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E
Arf, Arf Arf, Arf Arf, Arf Arf
Thoomph A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom
Oooooooo
(Spoken)
I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it
[ Edited by: Shipwreckjoey 2009-07-04 16:59 ]
Loved that trip down Memory Lane, SWJoey,
thank you very much.
Jeff(bigtikidude)
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TWO
Joined: Aug 20, 2007
Posts: 246
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TWO
"I'd like to spit some Beechnut in that dude's eyes.....Country Boy can survive"
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T
tok-tok
Member
North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany
Joined: Oct 17, 2007
Posts: 148
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T
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
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N
Joined: Jan 02, 2004
Posts: 882
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N
One, two, tie your shoe.
Three, four, pick up ze floor.
Five, six, don't play tricks.
Seven, Eight, clean your plate.
Nine, ten, start over again
Repeat
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T
tok-tok
Member
North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany
Joined: Oct 17, 2007
Posts: 148
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T
My grandma and your grandma, were sittin by the fire,
My grandma told your grandma, I'm going to set your flag on fire,
Takin bout hey now, hey now
Iko! Iko! an de'
Jackomo fe no nan e' , Jackomo fe nan e'
Look at my King all dressed in red
Iko! Iko! an de'
I bet you 5 dollars, he kill you dead!
Jackomo fe nan e'
Takin bout ..... hey now, hey now
Iko! Iko! an de'
Jackomo fe no an e' , Jackomo fe nan e'
My flagboy and your flagboy, sittin by the fire,
My flagboy told your flagboy, I'm going to set your flag on fire,
Takin bout ..... hey now, hey now
Iko! Iko! an de'
Jackomo fe no an e' , Jackomo fe nan e'
See that guy all dressed in green, Iko! Iko! an de'
He's not a man, he's a lovin machine!
Jackomo fe nan e'
Takin bout hey now, hey now
Iko! Iko! an de'
Jackomo fe no nane' , Jackomo fe nan e'
Takin bout hey now, hey now
Iko! Iko! an de'
Jackomo fe no ane' , Jackomo fe nan e'
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K
KuKu
Member
Santa Cruz, CA. norcal
Joined: May 07, 2008
Posts: 436
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K
Head, sholders, knees and toes, knees and toes...
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SB
Joined: Oct 27, 2008
Posts: 33
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SB
"F-R-E-E" that spells free
Credit report dot com, baby...
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B
beadtiki
Tiki Socialite
Bothell, Washington
Joined: Aug 24, 2007
Posts: 930
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B
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun...!
oops - done and done. How about:
watch out where the huskies go and don't you eat that yellow snow!
[ Edited by: beadtiki 2009-08-19 14:40 ]
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TG
Joined: May 01, 2007
Posts: 1293
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TG
Here's something that a lot of people probably haven't seen in a long time. Speaking of long time, this takes 7:22 minutes. The music starts about 4½ minutes in.
Hillbilly Hare
Jukebox Square Dance Caller
Bow to your corner, bow to your own...
Three hands up and ‘round you go,
Break it up with a dosey-do.
Chicken in the bread pan kickin’ out dough,
Skip to my Lou, my darling.
The old lady out, you pretty little thing,
Promenade around the ring,
Big foot up and little foot down,
Make that big foot jar the ground.
Lady step back and two gents in,
Back you go and forward again.
Step right up with an elbow swing,
Skip to my Lou, my darling.
Allemande left with the old left hand
Follow through the right and left grand.
Meet your honey with a great big smile
Promenade, Indian style.
Bugs takes over
Promenade! Across the floor,
Sashay right on out the door.
Out the door and into the glade,
Everybody promenade.
Step right up, you're doin’ fine,
I'll pull your beard, you pull mine.
Yank it again, like you did before,
Break it up with a tug o’ war.
Now into the brook and fish for a trout,
Dive right in and splash about.
Trout, trout, pretty little trout,
One more splash and come right out.
Shake like a hound dog, shake again,
Wallow 'round in the old pig pen.
Wallow some more, you all know how,
Roll around like an old fat sow.
Allemande left with your left hand,
Follow through with a right-left grand.
Now lead your partner, the dirty old thing,
Follow through with an elbow swing.
Grab a fence post, hold it tight,
Womp your partner with all your might.
Hit him in the shin, hit him in the head,
Hit him again, the critter ain’t dead.
Womp him low and womp him high,
Stick your finger in his eye.
Pretty little rhythm, pretty little sound,
Bang your heads against the ground.
Promenade all around the room,
Promenade like a bride and groom.
Open up the door and step right in,
Close the door and into a spin.
Whirl, whirl, twist and twirl,
Jump all around like a flyin' squirrel.
Now don't you cuss and don't you swear,
Just come right out and form a square.
Now right hand over and left hand under,
Both join hands and run like thunder.
Over the hill and over the dale,
Duck your head and lift your tail.
Don't you stray and don't you roam,
Turn it around and promenade home.
Corn in the crib pen, wheat in the sack,
Turn your partner, promenade back.
(plummeting sounds follow)
And now you're home...
Bow to your partner...
Bow to the gent across the hall..
And dat is all!
Fixed a typo.
[ Edited by: The Gnomon 2009-09-21 07:26 ]
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A8
Joined: Jul 22, 2009
Posts: 65
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A8
Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
gonna grab some afternoon delight.
My motto's always been; when it's right, it's right.
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night.
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day.
And you know the night is always gonna be there any way.
Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.
Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
looking forward to a little afternoon delight.
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
and the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting.
Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.
Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always though a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite
But you've got some bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling
a little afternoon delight.
Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.
Please be waiting for me baby when I come around.
We could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down.
Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight
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B
Bowana
Tiki Socialite
La Mesa, CA
Joined: Nov 10, 2006
Posts: 1183
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B
All the kids used to think that The Osmonds were sissies.
Take a look http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiNnDpIW918 and you'll probably agree that on the strength of this song, they could be considered HEAVY METAL GODS!
I'm not kidding.
The chorus will stick in your head for days, so enter at your own risk.
The dancing's kinda funny too.
Bowie
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B
Bowana
Tiki Socialite
La Mesa, CA
Joined: Nov 10, 2006
Posts: 1183
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B
Since I killed this thread so well with The Osmonds, it's now time to resurrect it.
Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex oughta do it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD5Cu3R3030&feature=related
Watch out! It's catchy!
YEEEEEE-HAW, Y'ALL!! :)
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M
MadDogMike
Grand Member (8 years)
The Anvil of the Sun
Joined: Mar 30, 2008
Posts: 10863
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M
They tried to make me go to rehab but I said 'no, no, no'
Yes I've been bad but when I come back you'll know know know
I ain't got the time and if my daddy thinks I'm fine
He's tried to make me go to rehab but I won't go go go
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ATP
Joined: Jul 19, 2009
Posts: 7118
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ATP
See the breaking glass
In the underpass
See the breaking glass
In the underpass
Warm leatherette
Hear the crushing steel
Feel the steering wheel
Hear the crushing steel
Feel the steering wheel
Warm leatherette
Warm leatherette
Warm leatherette
Melts on your burning flesh
You can see your reflection
In the luminescent dash
Warm leatherette
A tear of petrol
Is in your eye
The hand brake
Penetrates your thigh
Quick - Let's make love
Before you die
On warm leatherette
Warm leatherette
Warm leatherette
Warm leatherette
Warm leatherette
Join the car crash set
Listen to it here... http://s0.ilike.com/play#The+Normal:Warm+Leatherette:250455:s7437308.9636410.15469892.0.2.35%2Cstd_564065d4728d4384b4423ddb944ca048
[ Edited by: Atomic Tiki Punk 2010-05-14 13:16 ]
[ Edited by: Atomic Tiki Punk 2010-05-14 13:17 ]
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LL
Joined: Aug 24, 2006
Posts: 788
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LL
Ok, my main earworm of this year has been Jimmy Fallon's parody of "General" Larry Platt's 'Pants on the Ground' song, from American Idol. Fallon did the song as Niel Young.
I missed Idol, and I saw Fallon's version first, and thought , "Great Neil Young imitation, but what's with those lyrics?" Then I found out what the parody was about. But, I find myself weirdly drawn to the the faux Neil Young version, and every time I watch/listen to it, I'm stuck with it, for days. What's worse, I actually wish Young would go ahead and do this song!
"The rum's the thing..."
[ Edited by: Limbo Lizard 2010-05-13 22:17 ]
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MR
Joined: May 09, 2005
Posts: 1182
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MR
Let's Groove Tonight. Earth Wind and Fire... gets me everytime.
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BK
Joined: Apr 11, 2007
Posts: 2486
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BK
Rubber Ducky, you're they one.
You make bathtime lots of fun.
Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you!
Doh, doh, doh-dee oh
Rubber Ducky, joy of joys.
When I squeeze you, you make noise.
Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you!
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TM
Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 4105
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TM
You got to pretend your face is a Maserati!
My baby she like to rock
My baby she like to roll
My baby she can dance all night
My baby got no control
She do the Wango Tango
My baby she can scream and shout
My baby she can move it out
My baby she can take a chance
My baby got a brand new dance
Wango Tango
Wango Tango
It's a Wango Tango
Ooooh yeah! (oooooh..)
Baby!
My baby like to rock
My baby like to roll
My baby like to dance all night
She got no control
She do...
Wango Tango
Wango Tango
Wango Tango
Ooooh yeah! (oooooh..)
Yeahhhhhhhhhh!
Baby! Baby! Baby! Ooooh I like the way you look baby
You look like you're made for me honey
If you wanna take a little chance
I'm gonna show you a new dance
Baby I gotta Wango down one time with you honey
I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it
Well, it's a brand new dance
Yeah been sweepin' the nation
I said a brand new dance
A rock 'n' roll sensation
Yeah I like it baby, I do it every night
I got to do it 'cos I like it so much
Oh honey believe it baby
You see it's a crazed gyration of the rock generation
It's my motivation to avoid the nauseation, frustration
When I need some lubrication - Baby!
Kinda like, goes kinda like this
You take her right ankle out
You take her left ankle out
You get her belly propped down
You get her butt propped up
Yeah lookin' good now baby
I think you're in the right position now baby
Yeah but if you ain't quite ready I'll make sure everything is a little bit nicer 'cos
I'm gonna get a little talcum
I'm gonna borrow it from Malcolm
Yeah you look so good baby I'm startin to drool all over myself
I got the droolin', droolin', get all wet, salivate, salivate
I got salivate late, salivate late, salivate late
Got salivate, salivate, salivate, salivate, heh heh heh
Yeah you look so good baby, I like it, I like it, I like it
You know what I been talkin' about honey
It's a nice dance, we gotta a nice dance goin' here
Now what you gotta do, I'll tell you what you gotta do
You got to pretend your face is a Maserati
It's a Maserati
It's a Maserati
It's a gettin' hotty
It's a Maserati, Maserati, Maserati
It's a fast one too man, that thing's turbocharged
You feel like a little fuel injection honey?
I'll tell ya about it, I'll tell you about it
I'll check out the hood scoop
I gotta get that hood scoop off, shine and shine and buff
I gotta buff it up, buff it up, buff it up, buff it up, buff it up,
Yeah, shiny now baby, heh heh heh
You've been drivin' all night long
It's time to put the old Maserati away
So you look for a garage, you think you see a garage
Wait a minute, Hey!, there's one up ahead
And the damn thing's open
Hello! Get in there!
Is my baby alive? (Is my baby alive?)
Is my baby alive? (Is my baby alive?)
Is my baby alive?
She Wango'd to death
Wango Tango (Wango Tango)
Wango Tango (Wango Tango)
Wango Tango (Wango Tango)
Wango Tango (Wango Tango)
Wango Tango
Wango Tango
Wango Tango
Wango Tango
Wango Wango
Tango Tango
Wango Wango Wango Wango
Tango Tango Tango Tango
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NB
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Posts: 69
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NB
Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night
Every gal in Constantinople
Lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople
So if you've a date in Constantinople
She'll be waiting in Istanbul
Even old New York was once New Amsterdam
Why they changed it I can't say
People just liked it better that way
So take me back to Constantinople
No, you can't go back to Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works?
That's nobody's business but the Turks
Istanbul (Istanbul)
Istanbul (Istanbul)
Even old New York was once New Amsterdam
Why they changed it I can't say
People just liked it better that way
Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works?
That's nobody's business but the Turks
So take me back to Constantinople
No, you can't go back to Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works?
That's nobody's business but the Turks
Istanbul
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M
Joined: Jul 07, 2002
Posts: 837
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M
The chorus, in a strange choppy staccato...
Hey 98.6 it's good to have you back again
Oh hey 98.6, her lovin' is the medicine that saved me
Oh I love my baby.
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S
Joined: Nov 29, 2002
Posts: 1794
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S
My God! the Normal AND the Residents on the same thread. Who'd a thunk it. we're diggin' deep now.
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