Beyond Tiki, Bilge, and Test / Bilge
Answering all your quesions about "Down Under"...
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hewey
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Tue, Aug 9, 2005 11:23 PM
I seem to get a lot of questions about stuff down here, so I thought I would open it up to everyone. Ask me those questions about Australia that you always wanted to ask! |
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DawnTiki
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Tue, Aug 9, 2005 11:39 PM
My Mom {used to be} married to an Aussie in the early 80's. Once we went out to eat and the waitress was giggling and gushing all over Ian, loving his accent. After he had placed his order the waitress said "I just love your accent, please say something in Australian for me?" |
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hewey
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Tue, Aug 9, 2005 11:43 PM
True! In fact my folks were recently on the equator in Africa. On the equator, the water went straight down. 20m North, it went one way, they moved 20m South of the equator and it went the other way! Crazy stuff! |
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cheekytiki
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 1:18 AM
Is is tue that through being upside down for such long periods of time, Austrailians when visiting the Northern hemisphere pass out frequently due to the blood draining to their feet? |
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hewey
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 4:50 AM
Cheeky, I'm not aware of this phenomenon. In the spirit of science, I will have to come over and visit you. The first night, I will not have any Mai Tais. This will be the control. The following week, I will have to consume copious amounts of your Mai Tais. At the end of the week, we will be able to deduce whether it was the reversal of the gravitational pull, or in fact the strength of your cocktails. Isnt science fun?! :) |
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Gigantalope
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 6:28 AM
If I got a Dingo as a pet, could I feed it Baby Food, and just cut out the middle man? And WHAT was the Australian Animal that eats roots, chutes and leaves? |
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freddiefreelance
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 9:02 AM
Have you ever had Pabst Blue Ribbon? It's kinda like the Fosters of the US, only in tiny 12 oz cans. (Four X is much better, more of the Budweiser of Oz). |
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Riptide
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 11:25 AM
Is it true that everyone in Australia is a criminal? |
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Monkeyman
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 2:00 PM
Based on everything I have heard and read about Australia, it sounds like a fantastic place to live. I have never been but am excited to visit someday. *Surfing is considered a national sport. |
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joefla70
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 2:34 PM
Hewey, I don't know if you have been to the U.S. or heard of the restaurant chain of steakhouses called "Outback Steakhouse", but it is an Australian themed restaurant. I was wondering whether there are any American themed restaurants in Australia that have cheesy, American stero-type decor. |
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tikifish
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 2:36 PM
Planet Hollywood! |
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finkdaddy
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 2:36 PM
Do people still listen to Men At Work? (I still do :blush: ) |
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Unga Bunga
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 2:56 PM
Is it true that Crocodile Dundee wombats his joey with vegemite? |
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JimTandem
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 3:03 PM
Hey Hewey! |
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naugatiki
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 6:07 PM
Is it true that Yahoo Serious is the founder of Yahoo the search engine? |
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hewey
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 9:28 PM
Gigantalope - If you feed a dingo baby food it will be very unimpressed. Like many Australian animals, it likes to kill things. Preferrably people. Its an Australian animal thing, most of them do it. Therefore, it will likely go you. Australian animal that roots, shoots, and leaves? Sounds like the Australian country male. A cousin of the American redneck. Freddie - Never heard of Pabst Blue Ribbon. I don't drink beer anyway (i'm un-Australian, I dont like cricket either). Fosters and Four X are usually exported cause noone here likes the stuff. Riptide - Not everyone is a criminal. But we are oddly proud of our penal colony history. A country so uninviting, it was a non-fenced prison. Now the English flock here as backpackers. Haha. Our most famous Aussie Ned Kelly was a cop killer, but the country loves him. Waltzing Matilda is the country's 'adopted' anthem (we dont like authority, and dont like when they give us an anthem) and is about a homeless guy stealing a sheep, then commiting suicide. Monkeyman - It is a tops place to live. All those sound pretty accurate. Joefla70 - I have heard of those cheesy Aussie steakhouses. Never seen one/been to one though. We got this cheesy restaurant, not sure if you got it, called "McDonalds". Americana on a stick, and cheesy as. Have you heard of it? :) Finkdaddy - Some (mostly old) people listen to Men at Work (I do too). Most 'young' people listen to crap rap/R&B same as everywhere else. Vegemite - I think it tastes like crap (again, im kinda wierd). The majority of Aussies love the stuff. Again, Fosters is exported. Unga Bunga - Possibly. Speaking of actors, when they make it big here, they take off to America and get some crap 'world' accent. Jimtandem - That sounds like typical Aussie bahaviour for some. Depends on how strict the boss is :) We only go out of our way to make tourists feel comfortable to offset the fear of being killed/eaten by our lovely wildlife - tourism is just another business after all. Naugatiki - Yahoo serious may possibly be the inventor of Yahoo, but I doubt it. He prefers to make crap movies (although Young Einstein was tops. Just gotta split that beer atom. Now, where's that chisel?) |
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Riptide
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 9:53 PM
Hewey- When you hear an Australian say, "Put another shrimp on the Barbi." Are these the "Barbies" in question? If so, who is the "shrimp"? |
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hewey
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 9:59 PM
Some Australian trivia for ya:
Yeh, these animals are everywhere too. I could find 6,7,8,10 locally. |
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hewey
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 10:03 PM
Riptide - We use the term prawn instead of shrimp. I wouldnt put my prawns on them barbi girls. Maybe some edible body paint... |
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Gigantalope
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 11:34 PM
My favorite thing about Australia is that a former President (Harold Holt) was eaten by Sharks! I wish I could employ several of the eager bastards to dine on our grusome elected officials. On a Downer note, you are close to New Zealand...that must suck...except during rugby when after informing the world of thier teams domination...they choke. There are several impressive structures mostly in Queensland...Giant things...Pineapples and Fiberglass Animals...if what Texans said about Texas was tru...It would be Australia. Have you ever been to Madaranka? |
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kirby
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Wed, Aug 10, 2005 11:58 PM
why why why.... dont you just put a lil peanut butter, and sum jelly on sum toast or bread instead of that discusting veggimite...man whats with that...I heard that you cant even get peanut butter over there..dude |
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hewey
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Thu, Aug 11, 2005 5:53 AM
Gigantalope - Harold Holt 'dissappeared' off the beach. Shark is one theory, communists in a submarine is another. Probably just drowned. No body was ever found. The best bit? We have a swimming pool named in his honour! haha Being close to NZ is not that bad. They got tikis in them thar hills! But what they do to sheep... We got giant things all over the place here. Must work, plenty of folks do it. Hell, we put this big fibreglass mound in the middle of nowhere, paint it red, and silly tourists flock to see the damn thing. Tell them only a 10th sticks out of the ground. Nothing out there otherwise, just dust and tumbleweeds. Madaranka? Hadn't heard of the place till now. Kirby - Yeh, we got peanut butter. Man I hate vegemite. I love watching tourists take a bit of vegemite on toast (layered on real thick). Damn that stuffs strong. definitely not in a good way |
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Urban Tiki
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Thu, Aug 11, 2005 6:44 AM
I would never go near the water down there. Hell, I would never leave my house. Though I suppose the snakes and spiders would find a way in. Seriously, though, I have always admired the Australian sense of adventure and I think I now know where it comes from- just surviving there is an adventure. I think it is really great that there are still unexplored places there. I am fascinated with stories of exploration in the distant past and was kind of bummed that there was no place left like that. Apparently, I was wrong. Is this because they are very remote and very difficult to reach? |
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hewey
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Thu, Aug 11, 2005 7:39 AM
Yeh, where those plants were found was way remote, despite not being far out of Sydney in the grand scheme of things. Took some canyoners 4 days on foot, just stumbled across em and thought, these things arent real familiar. Get some pics and show a botanist mate. Then to go back they used helicopters. If you go off the highways there is still some adventuring to be had. We (the family) went to do the Overland Track in Tasmania some years ago. It's a week long hike in the mountains, about 45 miles? Mid December (Summer, remember) we got blizzards and turned back half way. Got 1-2 feet of snow. In Summer. In Australia. Really though, just going for a swim is an adventure with all those killer animals cruising around. Surfing is popular because you can make a quick escape, and you are out of the water. Thats why Aussies are good surfers. All the bad ones fell and got eaten. Its natural selection |
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naugatiki
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Thu, Aug 11, 2005 7:53 AM
And I thought American had better crime than anyone but I remember years ago I met an Austrailian and the first thing he showed me was a change purse made out of a kangaroo scrotum which caught me off guard since the only exposure to Australian culture before then was a video of The Adventures of Pricilla Queen of the Desert. |
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Kon-Hemsby
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Thu, Aug 11, 2005 8:05 AM
What's the latest Aussie saying in the vein of; I'm so thirsty I could suck the guts out of a low flying emu. I'm so hungry I could eat a baby's ass through a whicker chair. |
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Chongolio
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Thu, Aug 11, 2005 8:44 AM
Hewey, do Kangaroos make good pets and can you ride them?
One of my favorite parts of Crocidile Dundee is when he is walking around New York saying G'day to every person he walks by on a crowded street. G'day, |
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freddiefreelance
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Thu, Aug 11, 2005 9:13 AM
Have you heard of the Guinness Book of Worlds Records "Sentence with the most dangling participles" winner? A young child asks his mother why she brought an Austrailian picture book to read for a bedtime story: "Why did you bring that book about Down Under up for?" |
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freddiefreelance
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Thu, Aug 11, 2005 9:24 AM
That change purse reminds me of that Appalachian specialty, the 'Coon Ivory Toothpick. Have you heard the one about the Mohel who made a wallet from the tips he collected from work? You rub it & it turns into a breifcase. |
PPB
polynesian posh boy
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Thu, Aug 11, 2005 12:41 PM
Where do I go when I'm on "walkabout"? |
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Urban Tiki
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Thu, Aug 11, 2005 1:38 PM
How did pubs get to be called Billabongs? |
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joefla70
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Thu, Aug 11, 2005 9:29 PM
Oh yeah! I have. But I thought that McDonalds was a Scottish restaurant! |
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Kane Tiki
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Thu, Aug 11, 2005 9:52 PM
Hey, I'm Australian too. I would volunteer my services, although Hewey is doing a fine job answering these questions by himself. And now for some useless trivia... I was in a supermarket yesterday and you can now buy Cheerios in Australia, however most of us still eat Weetbix or Nutri Grain. Last year Krispy Kreme was the big fad over here, so Donut King, the Australian donut company tried to get started in the USA - I bet none of you ever noticed. |
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Kane Tiki
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Thu, Aug 11, 2005 10:03 PM
Hewey, you mentioned dangerous animals. I believe you live in a part of Sydney called Penrith. The local football team is called the Panthers. Coincidentally there are often reports of feral Panthers roaming around those parts... obviously not in the main street, but up in the mountains. Do you believe? |
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Velvet Ruby
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Thu, Aug 11, 2005 10:55 PM
why must you abbreviate everything you say? barbie = barbeque and what the hell does "struuuuuth" mean anyway.. ?! (I just remembered that one from my boarding school days spent in Orange, NSW.. and no, I don't know why I ended up there either) :wink: J oh.. and why do so many of you end up in Whistler? "Someone put the Whammy in the Gizmo and look what happened!" ~ Piano Slim [ Edited by: Velvet Ruby 2005-08-11 22:55 ] |
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hewey
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Sat, Aug 13, 2005 1:06 AM
Kon - When I am hungry I usually say something like "Jeez, I'm bloody hungry!" We have the "So hungry i could eat a horse", but thats not so good. Chongolio - I have had friends with a pet kangaroo. They lived on a farm but. Like people have a pet sheep or cow on a farm. Its not common though. Too many people turn them into purses... No you can't ride kangaroos. You keep sliding off their backs, and you crush your nuts if you stay on. My dad lives in the country, and says g'day to everyone in the street. I do use it, but not to everyone I pass. Freddie - Never heard of that sentence, and i must admit i have no idea what a "participle" is either. Pol. posh boy - The destination of your walkabout is a mystery to those not participating, and it is not that important. The important thing is getting away from family, work, bills and all that other bullshit. The journey is more important than the destination and all that. Urban - Billabong is a stretch of creek/river, which was part of the original creekline. However, the natural meanderings of the water means it is now a seperate pool of stand alone water. Becomes a water hole for the wildlife. Much like a pub is the watering hole for the community (and the social capital. There are country towns with two shops, a servo, and 3 pubs - serious). Kane - Speaking of Krispy Kreme, the first store in the southern hemisphere was created in Penrith (literally minutes from my place). As far as Panthers in the mountains. I dont beleive actual Panthers exist there, but i think there are REALLY BIG feral cats, which freak people out. The urban legend is that the panthers escaped from a private zoo in the area. I dont know what came first, the footy team or the cats in the bush. Velvet - a common misconception is that Australians are linguistically lazy. This is incorrect. We are efficient. Less time talking, more time surfing, drinking beer, and eating vegemite. Hewey is an abbreviation of Hewson, my surname, a common pratcice. I christen you in your Aussie name "Velv". If others wish to know their Australian names i will christen them too. Struth is short for "oh my goodness, I was not expecting that at all, no sireee." A lot quicker, as most of our animals would kill you before you could say that. Orange? Struth! People go to Whistler to get away from places like Orange... |
PT
Palama Tiki
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Wed, Aug 17, 2005 7:35 PM
Hewey, so what's my Aussie name? |
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hewey
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Wed, Aug 17, 2005 8:19 PM
Well, it would evolve in stages. First, Id drop the "tiki" and you'd just be "Palama". But thats got too many syllables, so I'd shorten that as well. Normally, I'd shorten it to "pal", but it sounds kind of wanky. I'd probably go for "lama"."PT" is another possibility, but a little "american"."Lama" it is :) |
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hmc
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Sat, Jan 14, 2006 2:47 PM
Classic! Well done Hewey... I've also enjoyed the rest of your "Guide to Australia" post, and probably even more so, other people's perceptions of the land down under! |
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hewey
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Wed, Mar 8, 2006 4:48 AM
Did you know that there has been much debate about our overseas tourism advertising? There was concern over the use of the phrase "where the bloody hell ya?", after outlining how we have got the place ready for guests. My version: So where the bloody hell are ya? Get ya lazy ass down here and have beer ya bloody wanker! |
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WenikiTiki
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Wed, Mar 15, 2006 3:35 AM
Hi Hewey! I spent a week in Australia, Cairns area. We had a blast! Of course we were escaping from Guam, one of the most interesting places my husband has ever been stationed.... The best part was being there while a cyclone formed off the coast. We had MANY landslides. My hubby decided I was a psychic because I had insisted on a genuine 4 wheel drive vehicle for our rental car. If it hadn't been such crazy weather I might have been psycho. That vehicle was a lifesaver! We had to backtrack one day completely back the way we came because landslides closed the roads. Drove back about 4 hours through rotten storms. Got up the next morning and the road we returned on was closed, more landslides and flooding. It was so rough that my husband stopped and picked up emergency food and water, because he was sure we weren't getting back that night! I know my Australian name. One of my sailing friends is an Aussie. Whenever she sees me she says: "Hey Wen!" Although I was very puzzled that she wasn't familiar with Abbot and Costello's famous "Who's on First" comedy routine. We also visited the Great Barrier Reef, the first day there. Fortunately the weather hadn't yet gotten bad. I was very surprised at the giant contraption we were taken to. A huge floating pontoon boat, with huge nets strung around. So we snorkeled in a safety zone of sorts. Your McDonald's are a bit different than ours. We don't get beets on our burgers in the USA. Really! (Yes, I ate at a McDonald's in Australia. Also Bali, Thailand, Germany and England) Aloha! |
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foamy
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Thu, Mar 16, 2006 6:50 PM
How does your average Aussie feel about the America's Cup? Does it make the sports page? Is sailing regarded at all by the general population? |
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tikigap
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Thu, Mar 16, 2006 6:58 PM
Uh oh! All I know is Foamy is a sailor! |
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hewey
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Thu, Mar 16, 2006 9:48 PM
You haven't experienced the true Australia if you haven't had a few near death experiences! |
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hewey
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Thu, Mar 16, 2006 9:53 PM
Yeh dude - America's cup is real big down here. We also have the "Sydney to Hobart" yacht race every year starting on Boxing Day. Usually takes 2-3 days for it to happen. Couple of years ago there was bad weather, but they went ahead with it. Numerous boats pulled out damaged and I think a few sank. From memory 5 people died. The race still went ahead though. One email I saw proclaimed Australia was the only country so sports mad we give the death toll for a sporting event, and then talk about who is winning. |
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Cool Manchu
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Thu, Mar 16, 2006 10:09 PM
Is it true that they rebroadcast Monday Night Football (American Style) in Australia, but they edit the game and shorten it so every drive ends up in a score or at least a turn over of possession? |
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hewey
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Thu, Mar 16, 2006 11:01 PM
Mate, no idea. I have never seen it. They might though. Real footy players don't need helmets or padding! :) |
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foamy
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Sat, Mar 18, 2006 6:22 AM
Yeah, I read about that. Several dismastings, roll overs and such. "Winston Churchill" came off a wave and went down like a rock and then one of her life rafts failed. An English Olympian got washed off the wheel of another boat. They couldn't turn around to fetch him (why wasn't he jacked on?). The account said that to try and tack or jibe at the height of the storm in the Bass Straight was pretty much the same as committing suicide. I'd like to try some bodyboarding down there. Photos of some of the breaks are tremendous. So are the photos of the stick boys that became shark snacks. Oh, no, you folks just don't have "any" shark down there: Great Whites and Tiger sharks. Joy. Do they really have shark nets at some of the beaches? Do they work? Sharks make me hincky. |