How to talk like a pirate

I know International Talk Like a Pirate Day has come and gone, but I wanted to share something from another forum I frequent:

How to speak like a pirate...

-tion
The "-tion" found at the end of words like "locomotion" and "promotion" is pronounced "-seeon". So, don't say "locomoshun", but "locomoseeon"; not "promoshun", but "promoseeon".

Missing Letters
There are a few letters you should never pronounce. The first of them is "g". Drop all your "g"'s when you speak and you'll get words like "rowin'","sailin'" and "fightin'". Dropping all of your "v"'s will get you words like "ne'er","e'er" and "o'er".

Big, Bigger, Big Biggest!
Pirates are dramatic, and their speech is doubly so. Pirates never speak of "a big ship", they call it a "great, grand ship!" They never say never, they say "No nay ne'er!" Double up on all your adjectives and you'll be bountifully bombastic with your phrasing.

De-Conjugation
The conjugation is a rather modern invention, one that sailors always seem to be forgetting. Take the verb "to be" for example. Instead of saying "I am", sailors say, "I be". Instead of saying "You are", sailors say, "You be". Instead of saying, "They are", sailors say, "They be". Makes things a lot simpler, doesn't it?

Using Nautical Terms
Another technique for sounding more "piratey" is to use nautical terms. Here are some examples.
"Indeed were I taken aback!": I was surprised.
"And just as I were forgin' ahead through the crowd…": As I was making my way through the crowd…

Superstition
Pirates are a notoriously superstitious lot. Not only do they inhabit a world of vengeful spirits and ghost ships, but they also believe that using certain words when aboard a ship will give offence to King Neptune. Things whih are not to be mentioned include women, cats and the terms left and right, hence the elaborate taboo language which grew up around these things.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrr

Aye, the hot pants!

[Simpsons]

On 2005-09-21 10:19, Urban Tiki wrote:

... There are a few letters you should never pronounce. The first of them is "g". Drop all your "g"'s when you speak and you'll get words like "rowin'","sailin'" and "fightin'". Dropping all of your "v"'s will get you words like "ne'er","e'er" and "o'er".

... how about "gullet" as in, " i'll be slicin' yer gullet, fer dat..."... would you then maintain a silent "g"... unheard of,indeed... you'd be sounding like kip...

... pirates may re"g"ularly use terms such as "vernacular" and "vindication"... would then the "v" be silent... never..
.

... most pirates speak languages other than english... so me thinks you beez foolin around... or you beez messing wit da ebonical et·y·mol·o·gy por da pirates...

... in fact, the universally understood language for real modern day pirates would be money and guns (traded for or trained on...)... no words need be spoken... but keep your eyes open...

[ Edited by: alohabros 2005-09-21 15:00 ]

arrrrggh, ye land lubbers. What ye needs is a good keel-haulin. Thats we pirates do to scurvy dogs the likes of you.

And when ya sailin that ship down the tarmac and ye spy the McDonalds up ahead to the right ya exclain "thar she is! To the starboard bow me heartys! As its shown on the spot, a golden M marks the spot" and if the law is approaching from behind to the left ye exclaim "we got company on our port stern, take note ya scabby dogs. Get the cannons ready, well send em down to ol Davey Jones Locker"

And then if your a cop in a helicopter you say "Breaker 1-9, this is the bear, in the air, at your fontdoor. Come-on!" Okay, thats truckey speak. Sorry...

ARRRRR...my favorite pirates:

Blackbeard - the king of the pirates as far as I'm concerned. A hulk of a man at 6'-4 with long black hair and beard. He sported a vast multitude of weapons (two pistols, cutlass and various knives and daggers). He terrorized the Carribean and North American east coast for years, often going into battle with his infamous black beard "on fire" to scare the shit out of his enemies.

LongJohn Silver - An unscrupulous and cunning pirate who relied more his wits than his machismo. Best portrayed by Wallace Beery in the movie "Treasure Island". Favorite line of the movie delivered by LongJohn to the British Navy: "I'll come back, and when I do...thems that die 'll be the lucky ones".

Capt. Fatima - The only female pirate I know of was the captain of an all-female crew of pirates and in command of a pirate craft called "the Quivering Thigh". Her biggest conquest was to board and defeat her male pirate rival Capt. Pissgums (and his pervert pirates). Favorite line after one of Fatima's crew gets a little overzealous with a battle trophy: "Get that gory pork sword outta yer mouth".

ARRRRR...I loves pirates!

How about Captain Pugwash and his crew aboard the Black Pig ,Seaman Staines, Master Bates and Roger the Captains Boy.
This was an old british Kids program I used to watch ( as would had a whole generation) and the names are urban legend, I cannot remember if it was true or not

Why does a pirate's phone go beep beep beep beep beep?

Because he left it off the hook!