Behold: The Tiki of Unlimited Abundance

Whoo boy, way to jump to conclusions. I am afraind you all have it wrong, you've got the cart before the horse, so to speak.

Isn't it obvious? This guy isn't ripping off Sven. What we have here is the one man who created each and every one of those pictures & artifacts. Sven subsequently unknowingly documented his work. Truly a prodigious artist in his day, sadly it seems that he has hit upon hard times in his dotage and now wants to pass his secrets on to the next generation.

I think the $50 is misdirection to mislead and winnow out the unworthy. Truly, if we want to properly honor our meta-tiki forbearer, we shouldn't be sending him $50, we should all each send him some hand-crafted tiki love-offering. And document the endeavor, on the website. That is how one obtains the blessings of the Tiki of Ultimate Abundance.

On 2006-01-10 06:45, schlagerman wrote:

People around the age of 83 tend to be hardcore spendthrifts, having lived through the depression. I don't understand about this generalization of old people wanting to send off money because they have nothing better to do.

JJ, Elderly women are commonly targeted by scam artists. The reason is this; Odds are good they are widows with little experience handling their finances as this was usually handled by their now deceased husband.

Actually...I CONFESS: It was me all along! Posting this letter was an ingenious way of diverting any suspicions of me actually being the originator of it. I took one look at L. Ron Hubbard's career, and his income as a writer compared to his income as a cult leader convinced me that I was in the wrong racket all along. Screw writing books, I want the horn of plenty! (Ron Hubbard, for those of you who don't know, was a Science Fiction writer before he decided to found Scientology).

Schlagermann, let's face it, you have been an American in exile for too long, and cannot "read" your fellow folk any longer! (This IS a different country then when you left it, but >oops

By the way, Rebecca noticed the use of the words "flat" (i/o apartment), "fruit machine" (i/o slot machine), and "honour", which would seem to indicate the writer is from the UK.

Cheekytiki?

.....$4250, $4300, $4350... Moi! No I'd never try such a Thing! Now where was I... $4400, $4450

Why would someone pay $50 to gain the benefits from the Last Great Tiki of Unlimited Abundance when for $24 one can gain access to Tiki Central's Grand Ceremonial Forum of Mystery?

There must be some hidden benefit that they do not describe in the flyer. I can see it now. All these old ladies sending in their fifty dollars, and then being mystified by the the special limited Shag Unlimited Abundance prints that arrive in their mailbox two months later.

Vern

$50?! For The Tiki of Unlimited Abundance?!!

I see an opportunity here for Tiki Farm to undercut the competition!

$29.95 -- with fiery red flickering electric eyes!

It's a scam? I sent in all that money for nothing??

I want my torrents of unlimited abundance now, or there will be a "karmic imprint" on somebody's face!

On 2006-01-10 17:49, ikitnrev wrote:
Why would someone pay $50 to gain the benefits from the Last Great Tiki of Unlimited Abundance when for $24 one can gain access to Tiki Central's Grand Ceremonial Forum of Mystery?

Yeah, but for a $50 your Grand Member of the ScamCentral Forum.....

On 2006-01-10 07:46, bigbrotiki wrote:
Actually...I CONFESS: It was me all along! Posting this letter was an ingenious way of diverting any suspicions of me actually being the originator of it. I took one look at L. Ron Hubbard's career, and his income as a writer compared to his income as a cult leader convinced me that I was in the wrong racket all along. Screw writing books, I want the horn of plenty! (Ron Hubbard, for those of you who don't know, was a Science Fiction writer before he decided to found Scientology).

ROFL --- Getting at the Scientologists now? You've already offended the Subgenius, apparently.

http://www.blogitude.com/dummkopfen/2006/01/10/tiki

snicker

I know that my grandmother, if she was still alive, would have bought this, no question. She had nearly a full century of rabbit-foot memorabilia --- from Grecian Puzzle rings to petrified black-eyed peas, and even a small, jade fat man posing as a Buddha (it was offered by some Reader's Digest advertiser back in the 70's, touting, "Rub the Buddha for Luck!" ... but not that plastic or the wood one, as those sucked). Despite being an insanely devout Southern Baptist, she felt that a little superstition never hurt anyone. :wink:

| 11011011101110110 |

[ Edited by: 112502 2006-01-11 07:27 ]

On 2006-01-11 07:16, 112502 wrote:

On 2006-01-10 07:46, bigbrotiki wrote:
Actually...I CONFESS: It was me all along! Posting this letter was an ingenious way of diverting any suspicions of me actually being the originator of it. I took one look at L. Ron Hubbard's career, and his income as a writer compared to his income as a cult leader convinced me that I was in the wrong racket all along. Screw writing books, I want the horn of plenty! (Ron Hubbard, for those of you who don't know, was a Science Fiction writer before he decided to found Scientology).

ROFL --- Getting at the Scientologists now? You've already offended the Subgenius, apparently.

http://www.blogitude.com/dummkopfen/2006/01/10/tiki

snicker

I know that my grandmother, if she was still alive, would have bought this, no question. She had nearly a full century of rabbit-foot memorabilia --- from Grecian Puzzle rings to petrified black-eyed peas, and even a small, jade fat man posing as a Buddha (it was offered by some Reader's Digest advertiser back in the 70's, touting, "Rub the Buddha for Luck!" ... but not that plastic or the wood one, as those sucked). Despite being an insanely devout Southern Baptist, she felt that a little superstition never hurt anyone. :wink:

---

| 11011011101110110 |

[ Edited by: 112502 2006-01-11 07:27 ]

I can't place your face, but your number is familiar... Hey, next time you see Stang tell him if he says "Should I know you?" to me one more time he will kiss my white cracker ass or I'll snap his pencilneck making him. :x

:lol: Stang's just mad that he didn't think of it, and he's certainly lost some of his edge since we covered him in pink feathers & tossed him into the pond on X-Day...

Rev. Dr. Frederick J. Freelance, Ph.D., D.F.S

[ Edited by: freddiefreelance 2006-01-11 12:51 ]

I do work in the backyard of some crazy old folks... my parents!
and my friend does run a ceramics studio out of her backyard. Rent is so high in Cali, that artist get creative for finding alternative work areas.

**

I am QUITE excited to finally know where Elvis got his MOJO!!!! From The TUA!

WHO KNEW?!?!?!?

(I would SO kill for a copy of this "art." It belongs right there with......with.....Hell, there is no equal in my collection.)

Refreshing the broken image links in Sven's original post:

Ha! Thanks, I almost forgot about this, it was a good one. I have the original filed away somewhere.

Here's my text from page 1 of this thread that goes with these images. The above images go where the blue boxes are, I kept the boxes in the text for clarity so folks can see where these images went:

On 2006-01-08 16:03, bigbrotiki wrote:
Since the BOOK OF TIKI was published in September 2000, images from its pages have been copied for CD covers, web sites, paintings, shirts, boxer shorts, erasers, and other products, and I have enjoyed them as proof of its influence on contemporary pop culture.

But never would I have believed to come upon such flagrantly unauthorized, absurd and hilarious abuse such as this, being entirely composed from art and images from my book. In essence this is a classic junk mail scam, asking little old ladies to mail in money for miraculous results.

I feel very conflicted, since this is the funniest thing I have ever come across, right up my alley, along the lines of the Church of Subgenius and other cult parodies. As a matter of fact, it is like taking the mock scientific style of my book to its logical conclusion, pronouncing it to be a REAL cult! Yet I fear that there is a remote possibility that someone will actually buy into this stuff, even though the text and concept are so far out there, it all seems like a joke. Let's hope no one does.

And now, without further ado, behold in disbelief the miracle of the LAST GREAT TIKI OF UNLIMITED ABUNDANCE mail scam (These and more letter pages were passed onto me by Tiki Tony, who got them from a neighbor):

The photo of the author, "Great Maori Magus HAAPAPE TUARII", (also see below) actually depicts a Mai Kai waiter pouring a flaming drink (from page 160 of the BOT, the mugs are from p. 177).

Mr. Tuari wants you to transfer 50.- bucks to his SWISS BANK ACCOUNT (!) (see green box w. "Important Note" under his photo) in return for receiving the BIG LOTTO JACKPOT MAGIC of the TIKI OF UNLIMITED ABUNDANCE.

I scanned the pages large in the hopes the text can be read on TC, it's just too much to copy down here. This guy's stupefying, never-ending flow of text proves to me that he: a .) must be an American in full command of the language; and b.) has done this type of scam before, with other concepts.

It's all very easy: Cut image of Tiki along dotted line, place between palms of both hands for one minute, and it will be charged with your PERSONAL KARMIC IMPRINT! Remit with your 50,- bucks, and all sorts of luck will befall you. (This by the way is the only truly ancient Tiki that I used in the BOT, on page 21... maybe he knew!??)

Just in case there was any doubt that the Book of Tiki was his exclusive source, this extensive layout has an abundance of photos and graphics all from its pages. The photo of the Shelter Isle Apartments in Arcadia is retitled here as "the magic place where Haapape Tuarii practices the great ritual ceremonies of the solstice" and the TIKI DRIVE street sign supposedly now stands in Papeete, Tahiti, not Orange County.

Needles to comment on this image, but the scan nicely shows the cheap quality of the paper used for the letter pages. And in case you haven't been hypnotized by the Magus' endless drivel yet, take this:

And what's a good scam with out "Authentic witness statements", of which this is just one of many pages (as exception to the rule, both photos are NOT from the BOT):

Unbelievable...but real. Not a parody. I thought about sending in 50.- and finding out more...

[ Edited by: bigbrotiki 2011-02-20 15:06 ]

Charge your Tiki with Universal Mana...you know you want to!