Tiki International Knowledge Institute (or TIKI for short)!

Check out the brochure I got for the Tiki International Knowledge Institute or TIKI for short!

Front:
http://www.tikiroom.net/gallery/tc/bjr

Back:
http://www.tikiroom.net/gallery/tc/bjs

Man, I want to do some of those activities!

Here's the text all written out for those that cannot read it:

TIKI
The Tiki International Knowledge Institute

Perpetuating our Polynesian Heritage for all

Message from our Founder:
Aloha!

The Tiki International Knowledge Institute (TIKI) is dedicated to the ongoing preservation and practice of our Polynesian heritage as practised by our forefathers. The influence of “civilised” society, which began with over zealous religious missionaries, has seen our society reduced to little more than a marketing gimmick to sell holidays to those stupid enough to settle in places where it snows in the colder months.

By inviting people of all backgrounds to participate in our pagan rituals, we aim to increase the knowledge and respect that people hold for our island cultures. One only needs to search for TIKI on the internet to witness the extent of people who assist us in advocating tiki culture. We believe we can inspire you to do the same, and help you to share the aloha ohana spirit with those closest to you.

Hewey Lika Mih Teakee
Founder –Tiki International Knowledge Institute

Participant Feedback:
Edward – I really enjoyed learning from some of the true tiki masters. I especially liked the workshop on involving your friends, colleagues, and neighbours in tiki based events. We had a big luau and everyone got in and did a traditional honouring of the island gods – it was wild! We are already preparing our next one to coincide with the next full moon! Thank you so much!

Tina – I really enjoyed learning how to do a Tantric hula. The moves I can do really get my boyfriends attention! My love life is so much better, and his wife can’t work out why he is so content and satisfied. Love Tina!

Davo – Mate what a top place! Not only did I have a great time partying under the stars, I also learnt heaps of stuff about all that tiki stuff! It was tops!

Activities:
Here at TIKI, we run a number of activities in which participants can immerse themselves in island culture.
· Guide to incorporating tiki culture into your suburban life.
· Traditional tiki carving and painting basics.
· Workshop on involving your friends, neighbours and colleagues to participate in traditional island ceremonies.
· Traditional island god appreciation.
· Introduction to voodoo and island black magic.
· Advanced guide to voodoo and island black magic.
· Workshop on how to hold a successful luau.
· Hula dancing lessons.
· Tantric hula lessons (for advanced students only).
· How to use traditional island weapons (with a particular focus on home security and self protection).
· Fire walking for beginners.
· Workshops on crafting traditional tiki items such as grass skirts, coconuts bikinis, traditional weapons, cannibal forks, and shrunken heads (no, we no longer use human heads, but we do have some authentic examples you can view).

Location:
The TIKI is located on a small and isolated tropical island not far from the Hawaiian islands. Its lush green rain forest, and pristine white beaches make it a perfect venue for people to get into contact with their inner tribal spirits. We have found it to be a great environment for people to escape their boss, their mobile phone, emails, and persistent tax collectors.

Contact Us:
Here at TIKI, we like to live a lifestyle as close as possible to a traditional island lifestyle. For that reason we do not have a connection to the telephone or other contact means. We do have an internet connection (hey, ebay rocks!), so please email us on [email protected] (Please put TIKI in the subject line so we can sort you from the drug and porn spam.

I think that's a cropped version of the cover of the Book of Tiki in the center panel on the back!

On 2006-03-30 09:25, reedalong wrote:
I think that's a cropped version of the cover of the Book of Tiki in the center panel on the back!

If you look closely, I think you might find there are up to 10 images from the BoT...

Nice! Has Hau 'oli Tiki signed up her kids yet?

Any chance you can post the full resolution versions so we can print and distribute?

Ohh, uh, you did get Big Bro's permission first right? Else no distributing these.

Perpetuating our Polynesian Heritage for all

preservation and practice of our Polynesian heritage

what could this mean?

On 2006-03-30 14:34, Hakalugi wrote:
Ohh, uh, you did get Big Bro's permission first right? Else no distributing these.

I sure did! Thanks Big Bro!

On 2006-03-30 14:33, Hakalugi wrote:
Nice! Has Hau 'oli Tiki signed up her kids yet?

Any chance you can post the full resolution versions so we can print and distribute?

I think Hau 'oli Tiki may be very interested in sending her kids! I saved the brochure as a pdf for easy distribution. Only thing is, it reduces the size of it (puts a big white border around the whole thing), so you'd have to print em then trim then fold (if thats what you want to do). PM if you are interested, I can email either the original word doc or the pdf. The problem with the word doc is it might reformat when you open it.

On 2006-03-30 14:38, lanikai wrote:

Perpetuating our Polynesian Heritage for all

preservation and practice of our Polynesian heritage

what could this mean?

Basically it means ongoing study and participation in Polynesian cultural practices so it doesn't die out! This is for all people, not just those from a Polynesian heritage.

Absolutely FABULOUS!!!! I LOVE it!!! Printed out beautifully w/ my photo workshop thingy!

I love the dude on crutches! And Davo w/ his coconut! I was laughing so hard when I first opened it, I choked on my coffee! Drug and porn spam...!!!

NOW...sign the girls up! I am applying for a special scholarship through the Mr's work. I think the The Fanny Funke Trust Fellowship will be perfect!

Mrs Fanny Funke (pronounced Fewn-kay) was a missionary, who, in 1931 , at the age of 20, was sent to the Atolls surrounding the Pacific Island chain. She was sent to bring the word of God to the island savages. Before she ever reached her destination, a wicked storm blew her ship off course. Many aboard perished. She and what was left of her crew barely made it alive to a small atoll. They were greeted by what she could only surmise to be some sort of Polynesian tribal types. To her relief, they were very kind and showed her the true spirit of Aloha. She fell in love with the Chief of the tribe. He hand carved a majestic tiki for her wedding day gift. Fanny lived many happy years there, becoming one of them so thoroughly, she almost forgot English! After many years, the natives were visited by a large expedition party. Sadly, this was no adventure seeking mission. It was the United States military engaged in a recon mission to find suitable atolls to test their new nuclear weapons upon. Needless to say, Fanny, her beloved husband and the whole tribe were told to leave. Having no choice, they allowed themselves to be packed up and shipped off. She was forced to leave her Wedding tiki behind due to a lack of space. She stashed it in the bottom of a deep cave, hoping one day to come back and inhabit her beloved atoll again. They were given modern housing upon the main island of Hawai'i. The tribe never fully acclimated to the new life style. On December 7th, 1941, Pearl Harbor was bombed. Fanny lost her beloved husband and all but 3 tribal relatives. She vowed she would get even with the people that ruined her life. She spent the rest of her life in an underground effort to expose the secret tests the government had performed on her beloved atoll. She made many friends, and enemies. The friends helped her with wise financial advice. Being a forward thinker, she set up a trust for the financing of further studies and advancement in both scholarly and scientific fields of the Polynesian Culture. These scholarships have a "bond" requirement, recipients may be required for a specified time to work for particular employer (The Fanny Funke Foundation), to work in rural or remote areas, otherwise they may be liable to repay the cash value of the support they received during the scholarship. Fanny made sure to put a stipulation in that each student do their work experience on one of the many remote atolls, islands, or reefs. Fanny was mysteriously killed during a protest of a nuclear test on February 11, 1987 at the Nevada Proving Grounds. Official reports state she was robbed and shot by an unknown assailant. Friends and those close to her say they were never allowed to see her body, as the government officials claim she died on private military property. During her funeral, a friend attending claims his dosimeter (a wearable Geiger counter) registered extreme levels of radiation. He came back to the grave hours after all had left. The radiation was coming from Fanny's grave! An explanation has never been offered.
Fanny's head stone is actually the hand carved Wedding Tiki. It was lovingly retrieved from the old atoll caves by old friends. The inscription below it says: Fanny Funke, Proud Chieftess of the People of Fangatoro Atoll. The fire that burns with in a heart can never be extinguished. 12-11-1911 to 2-11-1987.

I guess now we have to set up a "web site" for the Fanny Funke Foundation. More work for you Hewey!! Feel free to correct, ad to or cut and paste the "history" of Fanny! Dang! This is fun!

My neighbor is out there right now. I think I'll casually drop the TIKI brochure as I'm leaving. I update you all! Perhaps at the Tiki Taix, tonight!!

On 2006-03-31 09:23, Hau 'oli Tiki wrote:
I love the dude on crutches! And Davo w/ his coconut! I was laughing so hard when I first opened it, I choked on my coffee! Drug and porn spam...!!!

Glad you liked it! By the way, I am Davo! That pic was taken when I was on holidays a month or two back on Fiji! The guy on crutches is clip art - I love him.

On 2006-03-31 21:44, hewey wrote:

By the way, I am Davo!

Should read: I AM DEVO !- Another fine fake cult that was genius...congrats to a nice piece of work, Hewey. I am looking forward to my copies.

But I feel a little tweaked now, that Fanny Funke story sounds so real, amazing if true, but crazy enough it could be...too bad if it's not, it sounds like the perfect story for that Island that had a post on TC years ago (name ?) that was a US nuclear dump site and was cleaned up recently.

[ Edited by: bigbrotiki 2006-04-01 06:34 ]

Very good BigBro! The story has elements of fact.
The island was actually Fangataufa. French Polynesian. The French tested there for decades and have been cleaning it up, supposedly.
Of course, the dates are set around the very real Pearl Harbor bombing.
The date of 2-11-87 nuclear testing at Nevada was a real test date.
The trust language and scholarship bond is stuff I deal w/everyday, as I am a Conservator, Trustee and Fiduciary manager for many people.
I enjoy fictional writing w/ semi elements of truth. Got that from reading Dean Koontz, as he centered a lot of his stories in and around Orange County. Including the very Canyon (Silverado) I grew up in! Kinda creeped me out that he had the undead walking in the hills of my back yard! I usually go to Wikipedia and enter a date or location and just see what happened around there/that time.
The nuclear stuff is probably gleaned from watching the X Files too much back in the 90's.
And I lived in Nevada for a few years and saw some strange things....but that's another story.....

Ha, Dean Koontz, eh? That guy has no worries, just lotsa money. I know his daughter, an ex-rommate's girlfriend.
Good story (especially the German missionairy name!) When that thread was up on TC about the American nuclear island (which had a Tiki lounge) I was really looking for a good script idea for it. That could be it. What was the name of that damn' island (to search for that thread)?

[ Edited by: bigbrotiki 2006-04-01 13:52 ]

On 2006-04-01 13:48, bigbrotiki wrote:
What was the name of that damn' island (to search for that thread)?

Johnston Island