My One Thousandth Post

This is my one thousandth post.

Some of yerselves are no doubt wonderin' how a guy like me who has often been called Why-don't-yuh-just-shut-the-hell-up-mutt? and has been an active member of Tiki Central since the Yahoo! days can only now just be reachin' one thousand posts.

I wondered about that myself. I'm on Tiki Central pert near every day so it seems by current standards I should be around eight thousand nine hundred fifty six posts, give or take a dozen.

So I thought about what makes me different and have some ideas...

No wife, no kids, no pets. (-735 posts) I don't have any funny stories, tragic tales, cute pics, or auctions to promote cuz she told me it's the Tiki or her.

Don't travel much. (-57 posts) I am usually not comin' to yer city, comin' to yer town. So I don't needa sound the trumpet heraldin' my arrival.

No digital camera (-1,329 posts) Some day I'll be able to posts pics as quick and easy as the resta yuh, then the numbers will climb. In the mean time I can only wonder "Why hasn't anyone posted a picture of (apparently unknown tiki)???"

Not online drunk that much. (-137 posts) Sure, I've posted drunk. I just can't remember where or what. (Though apparently I'm spendin' Thanksgivin' in Cincinnati.)

Avoid pointless scuffles. (-52 posts) Usually I don't get too involved in the kinda ornery posts. I ain't above eggin' someone on. I ain't proud of it, but yeah, I've done it. Especially if I feel they have it comin'. (OK, I admit, I'm kinda proud of that one.)

Don't collect new mugs. (-897 pots) This is really more a money and space issue than taste. And I'd like to thank the rest of yuh who buy and own neat stuff I can come and visit but never have to dust.

Once is enough. (-327 posts) In those long drawn out debate threads (which I enjoy when they're well written and heads stay cool) I figger once I made my point clearly and soundly no amount of restatin' or repostin' is gonna make any difference. Even if my point gets buried by an off topic post of a monkey pattin' a kitty on the head.

Don't post many monkey-pattin'-a-kitty-on-the-head type pictures. (-1,783 posts) When I was a very young conservative teenager I was shocked by a t-shirt that said "I used to be disgusted, now I'm just amused" Hilariously that slogan sorta became my own.***** Similarly I used to hate Bilge, now I love it. Partly cuz it helps keeps Tiki Central sorta tidy but mostly cuz I can do this:

Fer no reason at all.

Bilge has helped me discover: I don't get angry, I get abstract.

And finally, the NUMBER ONE REASON this is only my one thousandth post in over eight and a half years...

I really just don't give a damn. (-2,639 posts) Yes, I love Tiki Central and Tiki in general and I still believe this is one of the best collection of folks I've come across on the internet and in real life. But obviously I do not love any of it as much as the resta yerselves. Yer love fer Tiki Central and Tiki is a hot hot passion which burns like a 151 filled lime floatin' in yer third Pele's French Polynesian Kiss. It's completely unfamiliar to my laid back western roots. Or somethin' like that.

***** Even more hilarious? I wrote this t-shirt and sold it to T-Shirt Hell. Well, my origianl line was I'd rather be snorting cocaine of a supermodel's belly. But apparently they know their market cuz their re-write of the shirt has been a big big seller. I got $300.

Congrats on the 1000th post Woofy.

On 2008-10-30 08:38, woofmutt wrote:

is a hot hot passion which burns like a 151 filled lime floatin' in yer third Pele's French Polynesian Kiss. It's completely unfamiliar to my laid back western roots. Or somethin' like that.

maybe you should see a doctor aboot that...

happy 1000th post.

WOOFMUTT!!

Where do you keep them all?

i have said "I'd rather be snorting cocaine of a supermodel's belly/ass." in conversation several times over the years and meant it.

I still believe this is one of the best collection of folks I've come across on the internet

Even bettar than the chicks over at http://www.hotdoglovinbeotchescentral.com?

Woofmutt,

Congrats! Never have I seen one person do so little for so many. You should be proud. Why not
celebrate this momentous achievement by eating a plate of nachos and taking a nap, you've earned it.
To honor this milestone I've hired White Center's #1 prostitute to give you 1,000 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
Not sure how long that will take but please tip generously, she will have earned it.

Peace.

Glad you're here Woof.

Quality not quantity that's what counts, not just mindlessly posting for no reason, like this post, which I'm only posting because i don't know how many posts I've done and posting is easier than looking through the site to find out my last post and current total.

"To honor this milestone I've hired White Center's #1 prostitute..." -tiki-thunderbird-

How thoughtful, but if that's the redhead from Brewsky's she can't be within 50 feet of me. Part of the divorce settlement.

"Quality not quantity that's what counts..."-atomictonytiki-

I agree, unless we're talkin' about Pabst.

I fergotted one other reason I have, accordin' to the lab report, a low post count: I have discarded dozens and dozens of posts. Or set them aside to fine tune and then never got back to 'em.

But I realize now that by doin' so I have no doubt robbed the world of joy. I feel terrible. I think I'll make some nachos and take a nap.

Robbed the world of joy or saved yourself from a world hurt, I've answered more posts inside my head and then forgotten to actually post it than I've written, which saves me from getting involved in those long drawn out flamewars which mar TC occasionally.

So now the truth must be told...Mutt has actually been channeling all his "I love it" "great pic" "wish I was there" posts through me. I really only have 5 posts on the board.

Congrats Mutt...your posts are always a must read for me, I am so glad you took that writing course during your time at Bellevue.

Congratulations Woofy!
Now party like a Rock Star(eat pizza, drink beer, crash on the couch by 9)!

I for 1 enjoy your infrequent posts and your tiki shout monologues.

S
T

To drown sorrow, where should one jump first and best? "Certainly not water. Water rusts you." -Frank Sinatra

[ Edited by: sneakytiki 2008-11-24 22:37 ]

Now party like a Rock Star(eat pizza, drink beer, crash on the couch by 9)! -Sneakytiki-

Until I read that I had no idea I was livin' a rock star lifestyle. I guess that's why they shot an episode of MTV Cribs at my place last week.