ALERT!!! Tiki-Riviera's Blue Hawaiians Are Actually GREEN!!! Why Does Tiki -Riviera Suck?

I know it's probably considered "uncool" or "dumb" or "stupid" or "pointless" or "petty" or "mean" or "tactless" or "rude" or "jerky" or "thoughtless" or "crass" or "small minded" or "insensitive" or "tasteless" or "inconsiderate" or "unkind" or "heartless" to bring this up about Tiki-Riviera so soon after the untimely demise of his long suffering wife but I am doing it mainly for his daughter Elise who should grow up in a world where Blue Hawaiians are BLUE.

Also tiki-riviera drives this:

So Boo-hoo-hoo for him.

On 2009-06-04 09:30, woofmutt wrote:
Why Does Tiki -Riviera Suck?

Because he won't let me borrow his car to go buy some Tiki Farm mugs.
Gives me some lame excuse, that I'm always drunk or somethin'.

There are many many more reasons why Tiki-Riviera sucks besides his T-bird and Blue Hawaiians,
here are but a few:

1. Is relatively stupid, yet has a high paying job where he does almost nothing.

2. Has "borrowed" many mugs and artifacts from the Monkeyskull Voodoo lounge and the
   Rongo Rongo room and has yet to be caught.

3. Can't sing, has no rhythm and is legally tone deaf yet women find his dancing highly
   hypnotic and arousing.

4. At parties he often double and even triple dips.

5. Is the victim of unusually vivid dreams of Victoria Secret models hot oil wrestling for
   the honor of feeding him grapes and Mai Tai's.

6. Once was walking thru the park, tripped over nothing and fell on his face, rolled over and
   found a wallet with $5,700 cash and no I.D. go figure

7. His daughter is 20% cuter than him and 40% cuter than Mrs Riviera.

8. Before her untimely demise, Mrs Riviera lived only to cook, clean, obey, serve, pleasure
   and make money for him.

9. Eats hamburgers, hot dogs, tacos, milkshakes, cookies, pizza and pez every day but can't gain weight.

10. Is a close personal friend of Woofmutt E. Snodgrass, a reclusive cur of a hermit who lives in an
    undisclosed location in a windowless underground lair with the world's only remaining stock of
    Brill Cream and Pop Rocks.

11. Was given the world's only authentic Blue Hawaiian recipe from Trader Vic himself.

This list could be endless, so I'll let others finish it.

Now that "Louie-the-Shank" LoBonzo finally knows da name of da guy what took his wallet, he's gonna "finish it". Capisce...?

At parties he often double and even triple dips.

I'm sorry, but consuming two thirds of a bowl of French Polynesia Onion Dip using only a single Tim's Cascade Chip as a scoop goes way way beyond triple dipping.