Headline News santitized for Tiki enthusiasts

The US Coast Guard is reporting that at approximately 10:30 this morning, a TIKI platform operated by Texas-based Mariner Energy exploded west of the BP TIKI spill, approximately 90 miles south of Vermilion Bay. Thirteen TIKIS went overboard, but all are alive and accounted for, according to the US Coast Guard.

Mariner Energy's Vermilion Rig 380 exploded, and according to a Bloomberg report, U.S. Coast Guard Petty Officer Casey Ranel said there were seven helicopters, two airplanes and four cutters in the area.

According to the US Coast Guard, the 13 TIKIS were in the water near an oil platform on fire. All 13 TIKIS were wearing immersion suits.

"The 13 TIKIS in the water were picked up by the OSV Crystal Clear and taken to another platform. Coast Guard helicopters are being utilized to transport the rescued to Terrebonne General Hospital," the Coast Guard stated in a press release up today.

That's totally TIKIed up, man.

damn tikis...when will the guvmint do sumthin about these damn dangerous tikis.

You can have my TIKIS when you pry them from my cold, dead fingers!

(From Lucas, leader of the Idaho TIKI Militia!)

no doubt that lucas is holed up in the bitteroot area. hard to reach and free range tikis everywhere.

Do NOT vaccinate your Tikis!

And now for something completely different...The news for wombats.

It will go down as one of the most painful openings to a political debate in recent memory.

Gov. TIKI stumbled and stammered through her opening statement during a televised debate Wednesday night, suffering through an embarrassing, cringe-eliciting pause that lasted more than 10 seconds.

With her hands clasped in front of her, TIKI looked at the camera, then down, possibly at notes, and back up at the camera. TIKI smiled, let out a loud exhale, then resumed her statement with a pronouncement of her record as governor.

"We have... uh... did what was right for Arizona," TIKI said, using a grammatical misconstruction TIKI uttered twice during the debate.

Then, TIKI bolted from a post-debate question-and-answer session with reporters after refusing to respond to queries about her disproven claims of bodies supposedly found beheaded in the Arizona desert.

A clash between soldiers and TIKIs in Mexico has left twenty-five dead, according to reports.

The soldiers had stormed a TIKI BAR [ in the town of General Trevino ] set up by suspected Tikis near Mexico's border town of Monterrey, which has seen an escalation of violence in recent months, including the massacre of 72 Buffet Fans last week.

The shootout occurred in Nuevo Leon state.

It was unclear if there were Tiki victims among 25 killed, a Defense Ministry spokesman told El Universal daily.

Officials blame a spate of shootouts, kidnappings and killings in the northeastern states of Nuevo Leon and neighboring Tamaulipas, on disputes between the Buffet gang and its former allies the Tikis. A wounded Buffet Gang survivor of the migrant massacre in Tamaulipas, which was discovered last week, pointed the finger at the Tikis.

Shortly after that discovery, a police officer and an investigator on the case disappeared, a local mayor was shot dead, and several explosives attacks rocked a local television network [ facility ] and a police station.

President Felipe Calderon is under increasing fire for his military crackdown on Tikis launched three and a half years ago, which has been accompanied by a spike in violence.

On 2010-09-04 08:52, little lost tiki wrote:
A wounded Buffet Gang survivor of the migrant massacre in Tamaulipas, which was discovered last week, pointed the finger at the Tikis.

Those TIKIS better lawyer up!

On 2010-09-06 11:36, hodadhank wrote:
Headline News santitized

SaniTikitized!