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Beyond Tiki, Bilge, and Test / Bilge

The Official Tiki Central's 'Hijack This Thread" Thread.

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The Cocoanut ones? Mmmmm, Cocoanut...

But how, exactly, are we going to get the Spice Girls into the Paella?

Plate of Shrimp

Ever sit in hot springs and drink peyote milk shakes and trip on the sights and sounds of the jungle and lagoon? It's electricland man, DIG.
We gotta do a Hoopty this year, right Scott? Last stop...Traders Jungle Outpost. Our pool is done. It looks like a lagoon/pond. Now I just need Drunken Hat as my personal live-in mixologist/medicine man. HiYah yah yah yah HiYah HiYah rattle rattle rattle HiYah yah yah yah.

Anyone else can't sleep cuz of mockingbird incessant chirping 24/7? Devilbird follows me to jobsite chirping on every roof wherever I go. I don't know how it can fly faster than 60 mph, but it does. It knows where I'm going.
Mockingbird please go away or die.

G
GROG posted on Sat, Jul 29, 2006 12:00 PM

GROG feel your pain JT. Your birds evil twin brother
is my nemisis. There is a special place in hell reserved
for those damned birds!

I have one of the damn birds here in Anaheim.
starts chirping about 3 am in the morning.

what the fuck???? go to sleep bird.

gotta get my pellet gun, and take that sucka out.

Can you say Bye Bye birdy? ha ha ha!!!!

Jeff(bigtikidude)

Yeah, let's go on hunt for devilbird from hell. Then feast.

Grog, didn't Tarzan run into you while on pig hunt journey, just other side of caverns, north of primordial bog where trees no grow? Near southern edge of my jungle? No trees beyond that point, can't swing. Many ground dwellers there. (So. Cal.)

G
GROG posted on Mon, Jul 31, 2006 12:00 PM

Yes, GROG try to convince Tarzan to hunt and kill devil-bird, but Tarzan
was intent on pork.

a-papa-oom-mow-mow-a-papa-oom-mow-mow

Muscle Beach Party appreciation!




Rev. Dr. Frederick J. Freelance, Ph.D., D.F.S

[ Edited by: freddiefreelance 2006-08-14 09:35 ]

RR

Has anybody seen my liver?

G
GROG posted on Mon, Aug 14, 2006 6:39 PM

Embarrassing moment #151:

GROG wanted to buy a Hummer a few years back, so GROG goes to the Humvee dealership and takes a look around.
No salespersons came around so GROG went to find one. GROG goes up to an attractive lady and says GROG would like to get a Hummer. She slaps the crap out of GROG and storms off. Turns out she wasn't a salesperson. GROG just glad GROG didn't ask the gay guy standing next her.

T

My landlord sucks!

On 2006-08-16 13:24, TikiJosh wrote:
My landlord sucks!

Does that cost extra rent?

W

Aurthur's note: I was gonna post this in the Drunk Again thread which I had always assumed to be a place where everyone posted drunk things. But when lookin' at that thread I realized "Drunk Again" is sorta Suicide Sam's personal blog about diggin' his own grave...What size shovel he's usin', the consistency of the dirt that day, how deep he got, etc. So, here it is here. A complete piece of useless contemplation. Perfect fer Bilge.

I just got in from the second night of the Rockabilly Ball. It's the sorta event yuh kinda figger one should leave drunk from...But I am stone cold sober. And I was last night when I left, too. The main reason fer this strange state of sobriety is that I am drivin' home each night. But the weirder reason is...I haven't felt like drinkin'. It's enough to make me worried that I may never drink again!!! I think that last Saturday's go around with the infamous Pete's Monkeyskull VooDoo Lounge VooDoo Punch may have actually burned out some sorta "I wanna get drunk" part of my brain. And speakin' of evil spirits: I swear I see the ghost of Carrie Nation in the corner of my room smilin' with approval.

On 2006-09-23 01:39, woofmutt wrote:
Aurthur's note: I was gonna post this in the Drunk Again thread which I had always assumed to be a place where everyone posted drunk things. But when lookin' at that thread I realized "Drunk Again" is sorta Suicide Sam's personal blog about diggin' his own grave...Perfect fer Bilge.

MUTT! Are they still letting you post here?
Shit! I'm outta here.

W

I would like the point out that through the clever use of ellipses my opponent, Unga Bunga, misconstrued the meanin' of my original post to imply that Suicide Sam's posts are ideal fer the Bilge forum. As anyone can see by my original post this was not my intent.

In all the years he has held the office I am currently challengin' him fer, my opponent, Unga Bunga, has used such tactics to confuse the voters; mislay taxpayer money and drycleanin' orders; park fer 5, even 7 minutes in 3 Minute Passenger Loading Only zones; get free water, salt, and pepper at area restaurants; enter major retail stores through the EXIT ONLY doors; and place stamps on pre-addressed envelopes outside of the Place Stamp Here rectangle.

He has also been known on numerous occasions to refer to small pea gravel as medium pea gravel, and has attempted to order breakfast at local cafes and chain restaurants after the noted end of breakfast time.

It's time fer a change. This fall yer vote fer me fer whatever it is he does is yer chance to no longer let Unga Bunga keep yuh unda.

Woof,
Absolutely hysterical stuff....and for that I humbly give you my cherished #100.

The soup of the day at our company cafeteria was Chicken Noodle.

G
GROG posted on Mon, Sep 25, 2006 6:07 PM

That's what it was at our company cafeteria today, also. Then GROG realized we don't have a company cafeteria, so GROG not sure what GROG was eating and what that particular room is for.

It was only because (and solely caused by) the little bits of things that seem to get in between the larger parts of nothing that I once again found myself heading south on route 99. Another round with the Lower Dark 37 miles behind me, I was driving with one hand, the other firmly clenched tight, holding the shadow of a dead bird.

I don't get it. But I don't get a lot of things. How is shrunken heads....Tiki? Shrunken heads are macabre. Tiki is cool. What up with that shit?

C

aiight, how bout a monkey with a shrunken head of a human as a pendant? Just need to find a monkey that will wear it.

W

Once thought lost ferever to the shiftin' sands of time or the deserts around the base of certain West African cell phone spam robots...Here's a blast from the recent past...

Un-Tiki? -cheeky half-

I'm sorry if I step on any Tiki toes here, but I agree with cheeky half. This is just the sorta unregulated over moderated liberal conservative populist snobbery wishy washy mish-mashery that is the reason gnomes have begun to replace trolls, sharks are now walking on land, the sky is green (and falling) at the edges, and cows feel it's all right to mosey about all day sayin' "Ooom-oom-oooooooooom!" Sure, we all want free ice water and a heart felt "Hey there!" from our dry cleaner, but when I first got into Tiki yuh could get two Snicker's bars fer 95 cents at most places, what's-his-name was still in office, and the average gas station restroom powdered hand soap dispenser actually had soap in it! Now yer lucky if yuh can find medium brown shoe laces and are frequently stuck havin' to go with dark brown ones which pert near always look like black and generally require a lotta explanation. So how "Tiki" is that? What's next? Blue grenadine? Extra EXTRA Crispy chicken at KFC? "America's Next Top Ramen"? C'mon. If it comes to that I just have to quote that famous line "Now with more figs!" because clearly it's so small it can go anywhere makin' it convenient fer home, office, school or leisure. If that's "un-Tiki" then call me Harvey (Or "Hank") and use the white courtesy telephone when yuh do it.

W

So her's my front yard right now...

The picture is a little old, there are several large holes now which I dug for the logs. Also there's a house. And the water tower. Plus a 7-11, a Denny's, and that wedding chappel I mentioned.

So if I use the 2x4s as braces and the bamboo blinds are wrapped and glued to them do you think I can use that old stack of white walls as the trunks for the fake palm trees I'm going to top with army surplus helicopter props (painted a brighter green, of course!)???

Also I wanted to do a stucco effect on on the ceiling to imitate the ceilings at Palmatoria (before the remodel)...Would peanut butter work? I know it never dries and can't be painted on, will attract yellowjackets, and eventually turn rancid, but could I use it anyway?

Are yellowjackets Tiki? Cuz I have a helluva lotta them in the summer.

Yes Dorothy, yellowjackets ARE tiki.

is there a post about Hukilai in somewhere ??

Currently all posts lead to Hukilau.

Also here's a recipe for Tuna Casserole that I've never tried or even saw before today:

**Quick & Easy Tuna Casserole

INGREDIENTS
1 (12 ounce) package egg noodles
2 cups frozen green peas
2 (10.75 ounce) cans condensed cream of mushroom soup
2 (6 ounce) cans tuna, drained
1 onion, chopped
10 slices American processed cheese
ground black pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS
Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add noodles and frozen peas. Cook until noodles are al dente, drain well. Return noodles and peas to the pot.
Mix soup, tuna fish, onions, processed cheese and pepper into the pot. Stir constantly until all of the ingredients are well mixed and the cheese has melted. Serve.**

My tip: Make it Tiki by adding pineapple chunks and sprinkling with toasted ground coconut before serving.

S

I have a blog. Here is a link to it. Go there instead of here. Then come back.

On 2008-06-10 10:54, Swanky wrote:
I have a blog. Here is a link to it. Go there instead of here. Then come back.

You can check out my "New Website Too!!" http://www.bambooben.com

:wink:

W

I have a blog. Here is a link to it. Go there instead of here. Then come back. -Swanky-

I did. And I did. You have many references to 'cheesecake" but no recipes.


Does this piece of what you call "cheesecake" have a graham cracker crust?

I love pie!


Pants Off.
Life On.

[ Edited by: Chip and Andy 2008-06-11 06:30 ]

do ya reckon they have hawaiian burgers in Hawaii ?

W

I definitely like Diet Sprite better than Diet Seven Up but the name Bubble Up is the coolest of the three.

Squirt is also an excellent name but as it's a grapefruit flavor I don't think it's part of this discussion. Neither is Fresca which is not only delicious but also has an excellent name.

And ester of wood rosin is the coolest name for any pop ingredient. It sounds like a female character from Robin Hood.

"Who art thou than wanders alone in these woods?"

"I am Ester of Wood Rosin, and I have come seeking Robin Hood."

8T

We are having a lot of storms here. I can't decide whether I like the sound of thunder better or the flashing lightning.
Somebody said that thunder is better because nobody ever got burned up or fried by thunder. And it never set anyones house on fire or hits their favorite tree. But I bet somebody knows someone else who knows a guy who got knocked out of bed and broke his rumpbone due to really loud thunder.

I just heard some thunder. I gotta go put my car in the garage. Hope the lightning isn't nearby. Have you seen my umbrella?

On 2008-06-12 18:54, 8FT Tiki wrote:
Have you seen my umbrella?

uhhh yeah, check your drink

Habba snibby and nim nim on two piece leaf loaf

Fantastic, I'll be waiting in the lobby.

Alright, everybody hands in the air!!! Don't anybody try to be a hero!!! We're turning this baby around and going to Cuba!!! You gonna finish those peanuts?

"Alright, everybody hands in the air!!!

I can only watch "The Shining" in the day time...it is too scary to watch at night...at least when I am by myself...ellipse...Red Rum!!!

Is this the thread to pre-order the TC hand towels?

Now that I got this really cool siphon tube, I don't buy gasoline anymore.

8T

"Suckin' on a chili-dog outside the Tastee Freeze."
Or how 'bout
"..and Jesus, he wants to go to Venus..."

I just CANNOT believe songs with these well thought out lyrics are still getting played EVERY day.

"And I'm floating in a most peculiar waaaaeeeaaay"

I see the disapproval in your eyes
The judgment in your frown,
But I'm just drinking straight from the bottle
Cuz a glass only slows me down...

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