Answering all your quesions about "Down Under"...

Crazy Aussie in Mexico.

On 2006-03-18 06:22, foamy wrote:

you folks just don't have "any" shark down there: Great Whites and Tiger sharks. Joy. Do they really have shark nets at some of the beaches? Do they work? Sharks make me hincky.

Yeh man, we got sharks nets here in Sydney. We also had a flying spotter plain that patrolled in Summer but it got pulled because of lack of funding. A few people have commented that the nets wouldnt be effective - if a shrak wanted to get in, it would. But is good peace of mind for people.

Personally, I just dont wear my seal suite I wear to fancy dress parties when I swim. So far, so good :)

Hope all is well down under with all of the terrible weather you have had lately.

Another question for you - How popular is Kasey Chambers in Australia?

On 2006-03-20 14:26, Cool Manchu wrote:
Hope all is well down under with all of the terrible weather you have had lately.

Another question for you - How popular is Kasey Chambers in Australia?

Im right as far as the weather. Not sure about Marcus - hes up North, but I think the storms were more North again.

Kasey Chambers is medium popular? Not mega star, doesn't have the teenie bopper "it" factor say like boy bands get. But she's a household name and generally liked. Shes too nasally for me...

Hey Hewey, tell 'em about the "Drop Bears"!!!!

On 2006-03-21 01:21, cheekytiki wrote:
Hey Hewey, tell 'em about the "Drop Bears"!!!!

Mate - we haven't just got regular bears, no, our bears are cunning. They are smaller, but more deadly than say a grizzly. They hide in trees and attack people who come into their turf. They drop onto them to stun them, then whilst their quarry is concussed, they continut to attack and disable them. I don't know if you guys have ever seen the videos of an attack, but its pretty graphic.

What do you guys think of Shaun Taylor-Corbett from "Hi-5"?

On 2006-03-21 13:58, freddiefreelance wrote:
What do you guys think of Shaun Taylor-Corbett from "Hi-5"?

Um, no idea which one that is. Many guys I know don't mind watching the girls though. One day I was channel surfing (honest!) and one of the sweet blondes was on her hands and knees singing "come and do the doggy dance". I was thinking baaaaad thoughts... :)

Hewey,

How popular is "Blue Water High" with the teenagers? Would you consider it the equivalent to the American tv show, "Sweet Valley High"? My niece wants it syndicated on U.S. television. Can you do something about that?

Thanks,

Sabu

On 2005-08-09 23:23, hewey wrote: Ask me those questions about Australia that you always wanted to ask!

exactly when and more importantly, why...
did you guys foist that double negative phrase on americans?

"no worries"

and can you please take it back and keep it?
thankyawvurrymush.

On 2006-07-17 14:56, Sabu The Coconut Boy wrote:
How popular is "Blue Water High" with the teenagers? Would you consider it the equivalent to the American tv show, "Sweet Valley High"? My niece wants it syndicated on U.S. television. Can you do something about that?

I would have to ask a teenager... I am guessing its not that popular as Ive never heard of it. Yes I beleive its the equivalent of Sweet Valley High as I have never heard of that either. They also have similar titles, which further reinforces my beleifs. No I cant syndicate Blue Water for the US because A. - Ive never heard of it and B. - We just established you have your own version.

Hey Hewey!
What's the deal with "Waltzing Matilda" And "Tie me kangaroo down".What kind of crazy messed-up individuals wrote those and what does the latter mean?(I think waltzing matilda is a hobo's stick with a kerchief fulla his gear in tied to it,right?)I shouldn't rouse you! We got "Oh my darlin Clementine" and many others (mostly corporate jingles these days)...
and what's the deal with everyone singing over there?
oh yes,one last question...ever dry-humped Ayer's Rock?
Cheers!

On 2006-07-17 17:02, lanikai wrote:
exactly when and more importantly, why...
did you guys foist that double negative phrase on americans?

"no worries"

and can you please take it back and keep it?
thankyawvurrymush.

No, no, and no. I dont know when we gave it to you. Why - well you gave us bloody David Hasselhoff, Billy Ray Cyrus, Microsoft, etc... They are evil and unnatural... No, we wont take it back, unless you take them back.

And its not so much a double negative, but more a off handed way of saying "its all good, everything is under control, its okay". Alternatives are "No wuckin forries" or "no wuckers" for short. Figure this out yourself... :)

A double negative is when you ask a gangsta hood what they were doing (after you spied them dealing drugs or whatever) "Im not doin nothin" Well, if you aren't doin nothin, they must be doin somethin... :)

And its not so much a double negative,

Oh. it is so much a double neg.
Maybe not as per the legal def.
But it's:

NO

and it's

WORRIES.

a double dose of negative words...

words li'dat brah... sumpin we jez don't like in da islands...

you gave us bloody David Hasselhoff, Billy Ray Cyrus, Microsoft, etc... They are evil and unnatural...
there is soooo much more america has to offer than that lil dose. Or so I have heard.
But I will say a "bloody David Hasselhoff" is not a bad idea.

Billy Ray what?!

Microsoft..... sorry. I'm a Macman, no can handle. No can relate.
but taaanx anyway, mate.

Hey Hewey!

The best part of visiting Australia was watching "The Simpsons" and noticing that Homer says "No Worries" instead of "No Problem".

The second best part was the cool toilets with two different flush options. A half tank flush for light duty and a full tank flush for the heavy duty. What a great way to save water! The rest of the world should catch on to that.

Sorry, but it rained so much we were in our room a lot....

On 2006-07-17 23:50, little lost tiki wrote:
Hey Hewey!
What's the deal with "Waltzing Matilda" And "Tie me kangaroo down".What kind of crazy messed-up individuals wrote those and what does the latter mean?(I think waltzing matilda is a hobo's stick with a kerchief fulla his gear in tied to it,right?)I shouldn't rouse you! We got "Oh my darlin Clementine" and many others (mostly corporate jingles these days)...
and what's the deal with everyone singing over there?
oh yes,one last question...ever dry-humped Ayer's Rock?
Cheers!

I'll start with "Waltzing Matilda". It tells a story of a drover (Kinda like an Aussie version of a shepherd come hobo - walked around the country areas and got work here and there). Anyway, one day he steals some sheep from a farmer, and the cops come for him. He swims out into a billabong and drowns himself (a billabong is like an old section/arm of river, but the river has changed direction, but still left a pool).

The interesting part is that it almost became our national anthem at one stage, and is the "adopted" anthem of choice. Australia has a strong anti-authority sense of identity dating back to the poms establishing a country with prisoners :) Funny thing is, today the poms pay to come here to get away from dreary England and get some sun!

It was written by "Banjo" Patterson many years ago. He wrote a number of famous folk songs and poems etc.

Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport, on the other hand, was written by Rolfe Harris. But he has moved to England from Australia, so that gives you an idea of his mental state... :)

People over here sing because there is so much crap music flooding in from the states (darlin Clementine) that we need to improve the average quality of tunes... :)

I can neither confirm nor deny any alleged events that might have occured within the district of a large red rock

Kustom Kahoona* - Tiki and Hot Rod Art by Hewey*

[ Edited by: hewey 2006-07-24 00:48 ]

On 2006-07-18 00:02, lanikai wrote:
it's:

NO

and it's

WORRIES.

a double dose of negative words...

words li'dat brah... sumpin we jez don't like in da islands...

No worries mate. I'll lead by example and try not to use "no worries" at all.

On 2006-07-19 02:46, WenikiTiki wrote:
The best part of visiting Australia was watching "The Simpsons" and noticing that Homer says "No Worries" instead of "No Problem".

The second best part was the cool toilets with two different flush options. A half tank flush for light duty and a full tank flush for the heavy duty. What a great way to save water! The rest of the world should catch on to that.

Sorry, but it rained so much we were in our room a lot....

Ive never noticed that on the Simpsons...

You want to steal our dual-flush toliet system? No worries! ( :) ) When your country is as dry as ours, you gotta conserve water. And the irony of you noticing that because it was raining and you were in the hotel room a lot cannot be overlooked! :)

You seriously have to reevaluate your holidays if the best part is homer says "no worries" and the toilest has 2 flush buttons...

But yes, it is dry here. There was a 2 year old kid in Central Australia who fainted when it rained, because he had never seen it rain before. It took 2 buckets of dust to bring him around!

So what's the deal with the rivalry between Aussies and Kiwis?

Actually, I just really wanted to bump this thread because I like it so much. But I kinda do wonder about the "tension" between the two.

On 2005-08-11 22:55, Velvet Ruby wrote:

and what the hell does "struuuuuth" mean anyway.. ?!

It's a contraction of "God's truth".

GREAT THREAD!!!

So Hewey...what is up with all those flies. I was in Melbourne a couple of years ago and was met with tons of flies starting at the airport...my friend just waved them away from his face and said...that's the "Aussie Wave" since there are flies everywhere. I toured all over Melbourne with the flies. I didn't go north, but 3 of my friends went up to Ayers Rock and the Reef and they had to buy hats with face netting to keep the flies off. You would think they would get wiped out in the annual fires...but they don't. Can we send ya some fly-strips? :D

Had a great visit to Australia though...everyone was so friendly!!!

Example of the hat.

Hey, I gotta question!

What happens if I tell the quarantine guy at the airport that yes, I have been to a farm recently? Does he incinerate my winklepickers?

What are men doing when they 'chunder'?

:music:"where beer does flow and men chunder, can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder" :music:

On 2008-08-01 10:07, Howland wrote:
What are men doing when they 'chunder'?

:music:"where beer does flow and men chunder, can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder" :music:

Sorry to steal Hewey's thunder, but I did learn from my stint in Oz that someone generally will chunder after they've had too many mai tais. Also known as "worshiping at the porcelain altar".

Hewey, how about you tell the nice folks what a "seppo" is and how that name came about?

On 2008-08-01 10:34, leisure master wrote:

Hewey, how about you tell the nice folks what a "seppo" is and how that name came about?

Well its rhyming slang isnt it? Seppo = Septic Tank.. :lol:

On 2008-07-25 16:03, JenTiki wrote:
So what's the deal with the rivalry between Aussies and Kiwis?

Its like they're our brothers and sisters. Who we hate. We fight with them all the time, because they're just soooo annoying. But if you say anything bad about them I'll deck ya, because they're my family! :lol: Secretly they're jealous we get sunshine occasionally, and all they get is rain. We do pity them. But not enough to invite them all over to this side of the ditch.

So Hewey...what is up with all those flies

What flies? There's so many we dont even notice them anymore, kinda like all the kiwis who have moved over here. Must be all that sunshine that attracts so many?

Actually, the flies are only for the tourists. When the tourists leave, we just turn the flies off, and its a grouse place to live! But when the flies are on, the tourists get freaked out and dont want to move here! Sweet! The only problem is we still have kiwis moving here. Apparently flies are better than rain eh! Except they are annoying when you're eating fush and chups, bro...

What happens if I tell the quarantine guy at the airport that yes, I have been to a farm recently? Does he incinerate my winklepickers?

Im going to assume that "winklepicker" is a pet name for a part of male anatomy, because I have no idea what the hell it is otherwise. In which case yes, he will incinerate your winklepicker. Mainly out of pity. No self respecting penis should be called a winklepicker. None.

What are men doing when they 'chunder'?

Chunder = spew = vomit = barf. The general standard is chunder is used when one is talking about vomiting whilst intoxicated. Like this example "Me, Dave, Bob and Bazza were chatting up these choice birds at the rissole on Saturdee night. I'd had too many Victor Bravos and was feeling a bit crook, so I told the boys I better hit the frog and toad. I had a chunder in the bust stop on the way home. It was grouse." This translated into generic English would read "David, Robert, Barry and I were talking to some lovely ladies at the RSL (Returned Servicemans League, which are clubs for the purpose of this post). I had consumed excessive amounts of Victoria Bitter beer (which tastes like shite, by the way, but is cheap), and I was feeling unwell, so I bade my farewell and exited to the road. I vomited in the bus station on the way home. It was a thoroughly enjoyable evening, one I wish very much to duplicate in the near future"."Driving the porcelain bus" is another great slang term for having a chunder in the toilet.

Well its rhyming slang isnt it? Seppo = Septic Tank..

See what I mean about being annoying little sibblings? We're having an adult conversation and all he wants to do is butt in and have his say on the matter. Go make some epic middle earth trilogy about hobbits or something will you? And no, you cant move over here! How many times do I have to tell you this? Just toddle off and go tramping in your jandles bro. But leave me chully bun here you cheeky luttle bastard! (chilly bin for those playing at home, what we call an esky, or you yanks might call it a cooler). Why do you even need an esky in NZ, its cold enough anyway!

He was right though, but because he's a kiwi he didnt explain it very well. :roll: Americans are commonly refferred to as Yanks. I have no idea why. Dont ask me. If someone does ask, I'll give your address to the Dingos. Anyway, Seppo is a shortened version of septic tank (we shorten stuff because we're efficient, not lazy, Im sure Ive posted about that before. Leaves more time for drinking beer and laughing at the tourists complaining about flies). We often use rhyming slang for things, septic tank = yank.
As you saw in the above example, "frog and toad" is slang for road. But surely we're stupid turning a single syllable word into 3 seperate words? Arent you supposed to be 'efficient' I hear you cry, pointing accusatory fingers at your screens. Its about using the terms in context. "frog and toad" is commonly used when leaving, say a mates BBQ or a drinking establishment. In which case we dont really want to leave. We want to saty there longer. So by lengthining the phrase for "im leaving" we are in fact extending our time spent in a positive environment, and most likely extending our drinking time too. We're not as silly as you might think.

So anyway, seppo is short for septic tank, which rhymes with yank. How much clearer could it be? Of course, the term can be used with an underlying insult, in a derogeratory fashion. A septic tank is the sewerage tank for people not connected to the sewers (not sure what you guys call them, Im sure the kiwis have some funny name for them though). So the underlying connotation is that a seppo is a person of American origin who is full of sh**, a real wanker. A theoretical example of this might be a guy who turns up to tiki events and wants to carve with a chainsaw whilst highly intoxicated, who carves living trees on public land because the kids next-door told him to do it, and is stupid enough to do chainsaw carving in thongs (flip flops to my American viewers). However, the term has been watered down to a large extent, and does not necessarily have the same negative connotations. Unless we're talking about the guy in that hypothetical example.

Also, remember Australia is a land in which your best freind is reffered to as a "complete bastard", but your worst enemy is "a bit of a bastard".

The other day someone came into the shop and made a vauge reference to Mark Jackson (The loud Engergizer Battery guy),that I think no one got but me, is he still pushing batteries? Also, do people call the US "The Land Up Over"?

Who is this Chopper Read guy, and why is he telling me to " 'Arden the fuck up!"?

[ Edited by: pia tiki 2008-08-08 14:04 ]

On 2008-08-08 06:54, naugatiki wrote:
The other day someone came into the shop and made a vauge reference to Mark Jackson (The loud Engergizer Battery guy),that I think no one got but me, is he still pushing batteries? Also, do people call the US "The Land Up Over"?

Firstly, you should feel special and priveledged you got thid joke, whilst noone else did. Well done :D It is second only to knowing who won the 1952 Male Oscar, in order to win a lame prize at the local trivia night. No, he's no longer pushing batteries. I think he went flat..... No we dont call the US "The Land Up over". In fact, we dont call any country the land up over. We usually call the states the You-Ess (not sure of the spelling).

Who is this Chopper Read guy, and why is he telling me to " 'Arden the fuck up!"?

A convicted murderer (he only killed 'bad' men) who has become a minor celebrity. We're a country that started as a prison, so we have a very strong anti-authoritian streak. Still, the guy's nothing more than a pyscho thug, but I wouldnt want to say it to his face. He's telling you to harden up, because you're a soft nancy boy most likely! As the saying goes at my brothers work (civil engineer) "eat some concrete and harden the f*** up!"

Holy shit! how have i missed this thread?.. Hewey I am so proud of you mate, you should be the Australian ambassador to the ewe ess... good on ya cobber! I will make sure I take a Captain Cook at this thread regularly... farkensikcunt!..lol

Oh, i have some things to add...

The population of the entire country/continent of Australia is (as from today)
21,391,896,
compared with the state of California (projected 2010)
38,067,000 not including the estimated millions of undocument illegal residents.
that's why we like to spread out and need plenty of space..

There IS an Outback Steakhouse in Sydney.. it's in North Strathfield.

The Sydney Funnelweb Spider cannot jump..at all! so you can catch em in a jar or whatever and put your hand over the top safely within inches of one of the world's most deadly spiders and... well... survive! unless of course you falsely identified it and then you are buggered..

Australia II, the winner and first non-American winner of the America's Cup Yacht Race in 1983 was owned at the time by Allan Bond who at the time was a very prominent businessman, he built the first private university in Australia, Bond University (which incidentally my father was project manager for the construction company) among other projects and ventures, as well as purchasing Vincent Van Gogh's renowned painting, Irises for $54 million. He was later jailed for 7 years after the collapse of Bond Corporatin with personal debts of over $1.8 Bilion dollars.

I have a friend who recently proclaimed "I haven't been laid since Australia II won the America's Cup!".. he is not a very attractive fella..

During all the excitement of the America's Cup win, Our then Prime Minister Bob Hawke (after several beers) publicly proclaimed a national holiday by stating that:
"Any boss that sacks a worker for not turning up today is a BUM!

A further impressive fact about former Prime Minister Bob Hawke is his holding of a world record for the fastest consumption of beer: a yard glass (approximately 3 imperial pints or 1.7 litres) in eleven seconds! GOLD!

That's enough for now..

NO. we don't drink Fosters DAMMIT!

Here is my question, since the beaches are topless, does this make breasts less erotic?
This message was re edited for PC

[ Edited by: Ojaitimo 2008-08-19 20:15 ]

I am sure that Hewey will agree.....
BOOBS RULE....ALWAYS.