Tiki Central / General Tiki
Tiki Bar Humor
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shovinoff
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Fri, Jun 6, 2014 8:07 AM
You already did! |
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AceExplorer
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Fri, Jun 6, 2014 8:27 AM
Please, this is supposed to be a humor thread. We all like funny stuff. Can we move the bickering to Facebook where it expires and goes away? And then look for, and share, some tiki bar humor here? |
UB
Unga Bunga
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Fri, Jun 6, 2014 10:11 AM
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shovinoff
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Thu, Jun 12, 2014 9:18 AM
A Tiki kind of guy walks into a crowded bar with a two and a half foot tiki on his head. As he approaches the bar with all eyes in the place on him, the bartender says "what's with the tiki on your head?" The tiki guy said "I wear a tiki on my head EVERY Wednesday night!" The bartender says "this is Tuesday night." The tiki wearing mans eyes got really big as he looked around the room and said "Tuesday? Oh my god, I must look like a fuckin' idiot!" |
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shovinoff
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Thu, Jun 12, 2014 9:22 AM
How do you open a tea lock? |
S
shovinoff
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Thu, Jun 12, 2014 9:27 AM
A tiki walks into a bar. Bartender says "Why the long face?" |
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TikiAno
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Sun, Jun 15, 2014 8:23 PM
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Ku.""Ku who?" "I don't think you need any more cocktails. You're making bad tiki knock knock jokes." |
FM
Fez Moai
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Mon, Jun 16, 2014 6:34 PM
A tiki walks into a bar looking depressed. The bartender asks "Why are you sad", the tiki replies "I'm all a-Lono". |
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tikilongbeach
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Tue, Jul 29, 2014 8:48 AM
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thePorpoise
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Tue, Jul 29, 2014 3:44 PM
HA! they left out mezcal, and tinctures... |
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AceExplorer
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Thu, Jul 31, 2014 9:33 AM
A guy walks into a tiki bar and notices a very attractive woman at the bar with a cocktail. When she notices him she starts waving an motioning him to join her. He walks up to the bar and she says, “Hello.” He’s rather taken aback because he just can’t remember where he knows her from. So he asks, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.” Suddenly his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife. So he gathers his courage and nervously blurts out: “Are you the hula-dancing stripper from the tiki party that I made love to on the pool table, with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with a stick of wet celery?” She looks into his eyes, squints, and says calmly, “No, I’m your son’s kindergarten teacher.” |
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AceExplorer
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Wed, Aug 6, 2014 10:20 AM
After a late night with your friends, partying at your home tiki bar, put all your trash into a single black Hefty bag and put it out on the curb looking something like this: |
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AceExplorer
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Fri, Aug 14, 2015 7:50 AM
The ultimate PEZ dispenser! |
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AceExplorer
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Wed, Jan 27, 2016 1:00 PM
Ok, I'm gonna get totally flamed for this one... But it made me laugh quietly inside when it got emailed to me... I'm so ashamed! |
N''
nui 'umi 'umi
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Wed, Jan 27, 2016 11:11 PM
You got a mean streak in ya Ace. |
ATP
Atomic Tiki Punk
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Thu, Jan 28, 2016 6:03 AM
Dark humor is healthy in today's world, I am all for it! :D :D :D |
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AceExplorer
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Thu, Jan 28, 2016 6:03 AM
Sometimes its a bit of juvenile humor which I re-visit every once in a while... But I'm wearing my flame-proof bark cloth undies and decided to let it rip! |
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tikilongbeach
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Thu, Jan 28, 2016 3:35 PM
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tikilongbeach
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Thu, Jan 28, 2016 3:39 PM
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AceExplorer
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Wed, Mar 9, 2016 9:27 AM
From the great Rodney Dangerfield: [ Edited by: AceExplorer 2016-03-09 09:29 ] |
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Veronica!
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Wed, Mar 9, 2016 11:06 AM
Strange coincidence. |
A
AceExplorer
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Wed, Mar 9, 2016 11:23 AM
Nice! I hadn't seen yours, Veronica. Dang copy-cat cartoonists...!!! Apparently my copy-cat cartoonist is smarter -- he only needed 3 simple pictures to get the same idea across. :) Cheers! [ Edited by: AceExplorer 2016-03-09 11:27 ] |
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RevBambooBen
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Wed, Mar 9, 2016 10:02 PM
Atomic Tiki Punk, Thrift Tiki, Lucas Vigor and Veronica walk into a Tiki Bar...... |
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RevBambooBen
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Wed, Mar 9, 2016 10:16 PM
I thought it said Tiki Central Humor!!! D'oh!!! |
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Veronica!
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Sun, Mar 13, 2016 5:21 AM
And not whole crew and heavy equipment. I still do not understand but it just never gets old. |
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AceExplorer
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Tue, Jun 21, 2016 6:37 AM
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AceExplorer
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Tue, Jun 21, 2016 6:39 AM
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Kraken007
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Tue, Jun 21, 2016 8:15 AM
A Pirate walks into a bar..... The bartender looks at him and notices a steering wheel on the pirates crotch. The bartender says "Hey do you know you have a steering wheel on your crotch?" "Aye" the Pirate says...."It's drivin me nuts!" (Sorry its just too hot at 8am..... and I need another cup of coffee) :( |
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AceExplorer
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Fri, Jun 24, 2016 6:55 AM
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AceExplorer
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Sun, Jun 26, 2016 7:00 AM
Look at this great deal on Appleton rum -- it just arrived at my local Costco! So expensive that they only have a PHOTO and not a real bottle on display. Nevertheless, I'm adding this to my Christmas wish list. This proves once again that I'm not hard to shop for. |
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mikehooker
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Sun, Jun 26, 2016 10:42 AM
Thread Derailment: Does you Costco carry other Appleton products? Mine only has Flor de Cana gold and Sailor Jerry or Capt Morgan and maybe Malibu or something artificially flavored. The prices are right, just wish they had stuff I was buying. |
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AceExplorer
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Sun, Jun 26, 2016 7:25 PM
Derail, continued... haha! No Appleton in my Costco either. Not even Flor de Cana. Possibly Sailor Jerry. Definitely a lot of the popular spirits like Crown Royal, Jack Daniels, Tito's & Ketel One Vodka, etc. They do carry a surprisingly decent selection of whiskies though --- recently they started carrying Eagle Rare bourbon for $25/bottle --- in addition to Woodford Reserve, Johnny Walker Black, and a few other good things. But for the most part, they stock the popular stuff which sells well, but with some "nuggets" sprinkled in for the more discriminating drinker. I'm a fan of the Woodford and the Eagle Rare with the latter being incredibly good for the under $30 price point. It's not about the price with some of these higher-end spirits. There are some great spirits priced unbelievably low. |
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AceExplorer
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Mon, Jun 27, 2016 1:26 PM
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HJ
Haole Jim
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Fri, Jul 1, 2016 10:52 AM
A Moai walks into a Tiki bar, sits down and orders an umbrella drink. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" |
TD
Tiki Drifter
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Mon, Jul 4, 2016 7:07 PM
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AceExplorer
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Tue, Jul 5, 2016 1:25 PM
Our own Sven... ...found and copied here from another thread elsewhere in TC. |
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AceExplorer
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Fri, Jul 8, 2016 9:32 AM
What do you call a very short psychic tiki bartender who escapes from a tiki prison? Wait for it... Wait some more... ---> a SMALL MEDIUM at LARGE. Groaning has been proven to be very good for you. It makes you mix and drink cocktails to forget bad crap like this joke. You're welcome! |
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AceExplorer
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Mon, Sep 12, 2016 10:18 AM
I was searching for a specific cocktail book online and came across this book. When was the last time YOU were Tai'd up? :drink: |
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AceExplorer
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Thu, Sep 15, 2016 9:27 AM
Edited to correct a sobriety-induced error in the text. Doh! [ Edited by: AceExplorer 2016-09-15 13:38 ] |
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AceExplorer
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Thu, Sep 15, 2016 12:43 PM
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Heath
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Thu, Sep 15, 2016 12:51 PM
I think it should say bikinis expose about 90%of a woman's body. |
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AceExplorer
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Thu, Sep 15, 2016 1:26 PM
Ooops, you're right... I composed that on the fly, and I was sober, so that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! I'll re-do that and replace the bad image with the good image. Thanks for calling that out. How embarrassing! But at least I can blame it all on my terribly sober condition. :) |
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AceExplorer
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Thu, Nov 10, 2016 9:57 AM
Dear Tiki Central friends, I'm passing this on because it worked for me. A doctor on TV said that in order to have inner peace in our lives during the approaching hectic holidays, we should always finish things that we start. Since we all could use more calm in our lives, I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished. I finished a bottle of Appleton's, a bottle of Pusser's, a bodle of Lemyn Hart, a butle of Cruzan wum, tha mainder of Valium perscriptin, an a jar uv Luksardo cherreez. Yu has no idr how fablus I feel rite now. Chair this wid all ur frenz who need inner piss too. An telum u luvum. |
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mikehooker
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Thu, Nov 10, 2016 11:20 AM
Thanks so much for that post Ace. Humor is what's keeping me going today. |
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AceExplorer
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Tue, Jan 17, 2017 10:37 AM
A specialized Polynesian outrigger jumper cable (made from hard-to-find highly conductive jungle vines) walks into a tiki bar. The bartender turns and sez, "I'll serve ya, but don't start anything!" This dumb joke was poorly tiki-fied by AceExplorer. Laugh, dang you! :) Go ahead, admit it, you desperately needed some humor today no matter how cheesy or bad it is. |
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AceExplorer
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Fri, Jan 20, 2017 10:49 AM
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AceExplorer
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Thu, Aug 10, 2017 1:15 PM
[ Edited by: AceExplorer 2017-08-10 13:19 ] |
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AceExplorer
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Sat, Dec 30, 2017 12:16 PM
I settled on this thread to post this photo... Go with me on this for a minute... Thanks to Universal's Harry Potter-themed attractions, kids get to enjoy real "butterbeer" from the books and movies. Below is a hilarious (disturbing?) photo, courtesy of Comcast/Universal, of kids enjoying their "beers" in realistic mugs. Shoot me a private message if, many years from now, you read this and you attribute discovering drinking adult beverages to the Harry Potter stories and movies and visits to the theme parks when you were a kid. |