The Ten Commandments

Saw the recent TV version of this and it was watchable. Not as bad as the Los Angeles Times review made it out to be. But pretty weak lemonade compared with the “real deal,” which I see is coming on this Saturday, a movie I loved the very first time I saw it as a child and darn if my admiration hasn't continued to grow over the years.

What a glorious movie this is! How it just dives right in and revels in the Grand Gesture, the Noble Countenance, the Glorious Physique, the Ripest of Lines. Watching the TV movie was like looking at some drab little “realistic” painting in a gallery. DeMille’s version was like going into the Louvre to look at a giant, gaudy canvas by David that is a frantic tumult of composition, color and emotion; and however much your reasoning mind tells you that it is somehow claptrap, you can’t resist enjoying the hell out of it.

How do I love The Ten Commandments? Let me count the ways:

10. When the comely princess of the Ethiopes presents Moses with a jewel as a token of her admiration, regal Sethi observes “it is pleasing to the gods to see a man honored by his enemies.” Which Nefertiti immediately tops with “and such a beautiful enemy.”

11. The brilliant miscasting of Edward G. Robinson as Dathan.

12. "Remember, my sweet, that you must be wife to the next Pharaoh. You are going to be mine, all mine, like my dog or my horse or my falcon. Only I will love you more and trust you less. You will never do the things to me you would have done to Moses. I know you, my sweet. You're a sharp-clawed, treacherous little peacock. But you're food for the gods, and I'm going to have all of you."

13. When Rameses reports to Nefertiti that he has failed to slay Moses she tells him “you are not a king. You are even less than a man.”

14. “We don't stop a moving block for an old woman!”

15. When Moses is cast into the wilderness, he must endure hardship until, as DeMille weightily intones in his voice-over, “the metal is ready for the maker's hand.” And I don’t think it’s "I Am That I Am" DeMille’s talking about.

16. "Oh, Moses, Moses, you splendid, stubborn, adorable fool!"

17. When Princess Sephora swears Memnet to secrecy over Moses’ true origins, she tells her that the day she breaks this oath is the day she shall die. And even the tiniest kid in the audience has got a bad, bad feeling about this.

18. Yul Brynner constantly seething with rage and jealously, like some gorgeous killer-animal at the zoo, looking you in the eye and lusting more than anything to jump its cage and dig its claws into your face. Charlton Heston radiating confidence and wisdom like gamma rays from an H-bomb, calmly besting Brynner at every turn.

And my number one reason for loving this movie:

1. When Baka the Master Builder (Vincent Price) gazes upon Lilia the Water Bearer, we know it is not water that he thirsts for.

"Where's your Moses now?"

I never expected to see the 10 Commandments appear on Tiki Central, but it is timely, as I just read the following excerpt in he latest issue of the N.Y. Review of Books (life beyond tiki .... gazooks!), in an article about Michelangelo.

"The story has it that when Cecil De Mille was looking around for a lead in 'The Ten Commandements", he drew a white beard on Charleston Heston's studio photograph, saw the actor's resemblance to Michelangelos's statue, and the rest is cinematic history."

personally, I prefered as a youth the movie 'Ben Hur' to 'The Ten Commandements', as it featured both lepers and the amazing Chariot Race.

And to make the connection between 10 Commandments and tiki --- here is a segment from a imdb review of an obscure 1970 Heston film -- definitely less known than his religous themed films, or 'Soylent Green' or 'Planet of the Apes' ...

"James Michener and his tales of the south seas books presented film makers with many opportunities for grand and spectacular South Pacific extravaganza dramas and even one enchanted musical. THE HAWAIIANS is basically the story of how Charlton Heston started the pineapple industry in Hawaii, with the help of hard working clever Chinese peasants, some of whom were brought into the plantation household for love and 'marriage' and even unfortunately, a spot of leprosy."

.... so, in summary, if Michelangelo had not carved his statue of Moses, someone else would have been filmed as a leading figure of the pineapple industry.

Vern

wow, leave it to vern to bring it around! 7 degrees of heston tiki-nation!

So it is written. So it shall be done.

But why do they always have to show this around EASTER? I think "Monty Python's Life of Brian" would be a more suitable Easter film. :lol:

On 2006-04-16 22:28, cynfulcynner wrote:
I think "Monty Python's Life of Brian" would be a more suitable Easter film.

Jehovah!

If only the producers of the TV version of The Ten Commandments would have had the insight and vision to cast Chuck Norris as Moses I'm sure we would all have been blown away by a far superior movie. And...because Chuck performs all his own stunts and miracles, the money saved on stunt men and special effects could have gone to upgrade other aspects of the film. Do I have to do everything myself!

On 2006-04-16 22:28, cynfulcynner wrote:
But why do they always have to show this around EASTER? I think "Monty Python's Life of Brian" would be a more suitable Easter film. :lol:

Because Passover is always around the same time as Easter. The Ten Commandments is all about Passover, not Easter.

Dance you mud turtle! DANCE!