The Tonga Room and Hurricane Bar ( *Image Heavy* ), San Francisco, CA (restaurant)

Name:The Tonga Room and Hurricane Bar ( Image Heavy )
Type:restaurant
Street:950 Mason St
City:San Francisco
State:CA
Zip:94108
country:USA
Phone:(415) 772-5278
Status:operational

Description:
After doing a Locating Tiki Search, I was astonished to not find an entry on this place!

As most of the regulars know, this place is located in the basement of the Fairmont Hotel. And is built around the Fairmonts old swimming pool.

The sign outside of the side entrance that leads to the Tonga Room.

Tiki located by the elevator, the first indication of something tropical.

Close up. There are sconces featuring his likeness also.

The Tiki that greets you as you enter the Tonga Room.

Some of the carved panels that adorn the walls.

Tiki just to the left of the entrance as you go in.

Great A-Frame with outrigger canoes suspended below it.

Close up of the A-Frame carving.

Looking towards the Hurricane Bar.

Looking towards the Captains table.The dance floor is to the right side of the picture.

A Maquesan looking Tiki.

A shot featuring some details of the carved posts and the floating bandstand in the background.

Floating bandstand. With thunderstorm in effect!

The Hurricane Bar.

Tonga Mai Tai! Tasty, Tasty!

TONGA ITCH!!! With drink menu in the shot.

How the Hurricane Bar looked after the above drinks were imbibed. I know I'm a light weight.

While heavy on the nautical for some, the Tonga Room was a wonderful stop on a whirlwind tour of S.F. You should be so lucky as to have somethng this cool in your town!

TG
http://www.exotic-tiki-gardens.com

[ Edited by: TikiGardener 2007-04-08 21:17 ]

I thought there were more shots of this place too but I could not find so I addded some of own

INJOY:
When you enter from inside (there are cool photos on the wall from back in the day on the wall near bathrooms)

same with flash

some very cool fish floats - they hang in side umbrella like huts

keepin it sidewayz

wall art

yep flaoting stage watch for rain showers

more all art

hope you injoyed it - go for happy hour and drink away!

Thanks for the pics gang. TG, the lighting on those is really nice. Did you use a tripod?

Nice timing on the post too. We'll be in SF in June and the Tonga Room is a must visit.

Aloha TG, I was surprised that The Tonga Room wasn't entered into "Locating" as well, until yesterday. We're slackin' on the West Side. One of my all time fave places. Mahalo!

Wow, that floating bandstand is eye popping!! :o Never seen anything like that before. Thanks for the great pictures!

Important note about your visit to The Tonga Room (passed on to me by many wise natives):

Get there for Happy Hour, but the second that the band starts floating out onto the water, FLEE!
Happy Hour is officially over, your drink prices go way back up, the free buffet disappears, and generally bad live music begins. If you're not ordering anything more, they want your table, so be nice and pay up immediately, leaving your space for others.

Lots of other lovely places in the 'hood to hit next!

I'd love to dj that place. And it seems like such a cool spot to have live acts OTHER than a cover band.

And I used a tripod, with various time exposures. Generally about 2 to 3 seconds.

Great place all around.

On 2007-04-09 10:36, Formikahini wrote:
Important note about your visit to The Tonga Room (passed on to me by many wise natives):

Get there for Happy Hour, but the second that the band starts floating out onto the water, FLEE!
Happy Hour is officially over, your drink prices go way back up, the free buffet disappears, and generally bad live music begins. If you're not ordering anything more, they want your table, so be nice and pay up immediately, leaving your space for others.

Lots of other lovely places in the 'hood to hit next!

Yeah, so I've heard. What a shame that such a gorgeous place has to have such a bad reputation for live music. But at least it's still around. Can't complain about that!

I noticed a little card on the table that stated something to the effect that once it hit 8 0'clock, and you were still on premises, you would get hit with a 5 buck "entertainment" fee. Made me keep an eye on the time!

But, I am still amazed that there was no Locating Tiki topic on this place! It was/is on the Tiki Bar Crawl list isn't it?

And what, no "Wednesday night at The Tonga room" Tiki Ti equivalent?

On 2007-04-09 08:51, GatorRob wrote:
Thanks for the pics gang. TG, the lighting on those is really nice. Did you use a tripod?

Nice timing on the post too. We'll be in SF in June and the Tonga Room is a must visit.

Those photos are magnificent!

Is the Tonga Room owned by the Fairmont Hotel? Or does some external party own the lease?

HERE'S A QUICK REVIEW
My Wife and I finally made it over to the Tonga Room. After reading about it thanks to Critiki, I knew it was a place we HAD to check out while visiting San Francisco! We went on a Sunday night which had me a little worried that there would be no live music that night (thankfully they have music from Wed-Sun, so we were good).
THE PLACE
First off the décor is FANTASTIC. Here in the home base of Colorado we don’t have anything even CLOSE to something like this. All of the cool nightspots in Denver have either been replaced by Sports Bars (like the ill-fated and way too short lived Tiki Boyd’s) or there’s always a plasma blaring the latest ESPN news coverage) so it was nice to not only see a place like this, but to see an establishment that still keeps with the spirit of such a place (even thought there was an unobtrusive plasma by the bar;-) Even though it was a Sunday, we till made reservations, which sat us at a table next to the stage. There is a pool in the middle of the eating area, and the stage is an actual boat floating in the pool, REALLY COOL! The music was Fantastic! The Toga’s house band “Groove Island” had a fantastic mix of Classic Rock, Blues and Disco cover tunes (they were even able to put in a Tom Jones cover by request;-). These guys really nailed a diverse range of songs. On the far end of the pool was a ship’s deck that also served as a dance floor. The pool area also featured a pseudo rain storm which ended each set of the band.
THE DRINKS
A great selection of drinks ranging from Volcanos, Zombies and Singapore Slings. We went for the Volcano (in a place like that, you have to go for it) The drink for two was a bit small, but nice and strong which made up for it
THE FOOD
I read several reviews of the Tonga Room’s food and they weren’t that great, and a place like that, it’s almost expected, however, I can say this by far was NOT the case. The food was absolutely FANTASTIC (in fact the Mongolian beef was the best I’ve EVER tasted, anywhere) I understand the Tonga Room recently had a change in cooking staff and judging by the quality of our meal, it was certainly for the best!
THE BAD
The only thing that might be considered a downside is the price. It is a bit pricey (certainly not a place you could go weekly for dinner) However considering the quality of the food and overall atmosphere, it is certainly worth a monthly visit.
THE RANT
I’ve spoken to a few people and read some (non-Critiki) reviews that slam the place, saying it’s tacky, overpriced or cheesy, without really understanding what The Tonga Room really is about. Living in a state that is being overrun by sports bars (granted the Rockies are going to the world series as I write this) it is really sad to see “entertainment hot spots” and simple dance clubs going by the wayside. All too often people are now looking for a pickup joint, a place to bring the kids along or a place to get away from their wives. I, on the other hand, LOVE to take my wife out on the town for a nice night of entertainment. Sitting and watching a game on a plasma over a burger, to me that’s not my idea of a fun evening (can you tell I’m not a sports fan;-) A place like the Tonga Room, to me, is a great adult evening out. Many people will slam the décor, the rain storm, the prices, the drinks, etc. without even remembering what the place is. I’ve even heard someone say they need to put more TV’s in and make it more “Sports Oriented”. Fine, go to a sports bar, but there should be room for places like this as well right?

Overall we had a GREAT night at the Toga Room. The only downside was it was a bit pricey (not a place you could go every week for dinner) however, for what it is, and what is STILL is, it is absolutely worth it and will most certainly be an occasion to remember.

Thanks for the reviews.
I might try to grab a drink there this coming Sun. on the way to the airport, but no time or money to eat. But I do wanna see it while up there.
what drinks are recomended?

I usually like a Mai Tai and navy Grog at Trader Vics,
or a Zombie at Tiki Ti in Hollywood.

Thanks Jeff(bigtikidude)

[ Edited by: bigtikidude 2007-10-18 21:06 ]

Cross your fingers! The Tonga Room is closed for renovations! I just called them and they said the decor will remain the same and it should reopen around March 20th.

Yikes. Thanks Jab! They've gone through management like crazy...

Hopefully they'll get that fountain fixed and do something with the ceiling! I vote for a Bay Area Ohana gathering when they re-open! I do remember one of the managers saying they had received approval for a large renovation budget (I can't remember the specific amount, but I do remember thinking it was enough to fix things up a bit) just about a year ago. Fingers and toes all crossed!

Ooooh...I hope it will remain as wonderful as what those pictures show. I haven't been and plan on going in May. I hear it is oh so fabulous that I don't want to miss it. Thanks for the great pictures. :)

Just found this on the Fairmont website:

The Tonga Room & Hurricane Bar
The Tonga Room and Hurricane Bar is temporarily closed for renovations. We anticipate re-opening the Tonga Room on March 20th and hope you will visit us to experience some refreshing and exciting updates at San Francisco's favorite tiki bar and restaurant! Make your next visit to the Tonga Room a memorable and "WOW" dining occasion.

FATIMA BLUSH: Oh, how reckless of me. I made you all wet.
JAMES BOND: Yes, but my martini is still dry.

[ Edited by: vampiressrn 2008-03-04 19:45 ]

Let's show up on the 20th wearing aloha shirts to show support

I'll be there.

I'm in!

wow...i haven't been there since otto hosted "bongo's by the bay" tiki event way the hell back in the late 90's(?).....very cool place and if the economy ever gets better and airlines stop raising their rates and fuel goes back down to a reasonable price....i may damn well stop in for a revisit!!

Great Place! You West Coasters are so lucky to have so many great Tiki places to go to.

On 2008-03-16 09:51, Tipsy McStagger wrote:
if the economy ever gets better and airlines stop raising their rates and fuel goes back down to a reasonable price

In other words, when hell freezes over?! :wink:

A little fly landed on my shoulder today and told me it changed a bit. At least it's still there! Enjoy your local tiki bar.

A sneek peek at the renovation. Modern touches, but they seem to be minimal out of repect for the venue.

No more dusty fake foliage. The boat has been cleaned, the lagoon drained and scrubbed to sparkling white. The tapa cloth walls have been covered with red fabric:

The fountain behind is now covered up with frosted plastic panels with red lights behind them.

There's also raised bench seating (red upholstery) around the bar area, assumably to see the boat and dance floor more clearly. There are also nice new tables throughout.

I learned that the rain will still be there. Sure hope they bring back the lightning flashes instead of the disco lights that showed up earlier this year...

-Mark

Should be a great opening this week, despite the changes. The Tonga heart is still there!

[ Edited by: Mr. Fishy 2008-03-18 11:09 ]

[ Edited by: mr. fishy 2008-03-18 11:34 ]

Sorry you all, I have a scathing review of the Tonga Room:

I treated us to the Fairmont’s Tonga Room last Friday night and it wasn’t pretty. Here’s a Polynesian restaurant with no tropical music, (actually no music at all until the dreadful house band began at 9), no tropical foliage, and the worse food I’ve had for years at incredibly outrageous prices. We felt totally ripped off and shocked the Fairmont could run a place like this.

We’d heard it had been recently undergone a huge renovation. All I can say is it must have looked really awful before. It looks like they cleaned it down to bare bones functionality and then just stopped there. I felt like I was sitting in a stripped Polynesian village set. It is definitely an impressive room, but it feels really somber and dead. The rectangular pool in the middle of the room looked freshly white-plastered but there was no attempt to make it look like a lagoon. The main part of the high ceiling had been freshly painted black, and all the water pipes and other things were in plain view. Boy, a couple of nice big palm trees would have helped it a lot.

Anyway, the drinks were decent. We tried a banana Chi-Chi and a Hurricane. Then we ordered the pupu platter and everything on it actually was quite good. We should have stopped there.

For the dinner, we were intrigued by the tempura style lobster on the menu, but the waiter shook his head in horror when we asked about it. We asked him to recommend something and he recommended the beef fillets. Well, did you ever buy a box of those frozen beef fillets at Wal-Mart or Smart and Final and then promised yourself you’d never do THAT again?? That’s what they gave us. It tasted just like thick cardboard simmered in water. Okay, okay, if I was paying $5 for it I might not be surprised, but $35 each at the Fairmont?! Forget it. For the side dish, it was some kind of mixed rice for $7 a piece. It was nasty. It was fishy tasting thawed out baby shrimp mixed in several kinds of boiled rice. It tasted like one of my cooking mistakes. I couldn’t eat it.

We ordered a crème Brule for dessert, and it tasted like a box-mix butterscotch pudding. The waiter brought us a complimentary second dessert for some reason and it looked really cute. It was a flaming marshmallow volcano thing and he said it had raspberry mouse inside. Not. It was nasty. Right about then we saw the little band gathering to begin, so we thought that would be nice. They got on the little boat in the pool and it traveled out to the center. Then they started… oh my god. You’d think maybe they’d be playing some Hawaiian music, but no. It sounded like lounge lizard amateur night in hell, with songs right out of a white-trash wedding. The only way I could imagine listening to these guys play is…. if I was forced to. It was the last straw. We bolted.

I would not return to the Tonga Room unless they totally get new management and a new kitchen. I spend $250 on that crappy dinner for two. I don’t mind splurging on an expensive meal if I feel I’m getting something for my money, but I really felt ripped off by the whole Tonga Room evening.

The most shocking part of all of this is that the Fairmont itself is such a fabulous hotel. We actually stayed there on Friday night, in a beautiful corner room in the old section of the hotel. But the Tonga Room experience kind of tainted the hotel’s reputation for us.

My god, they’ve got a fantastic old place in the Tonga Room, but it’s a shame about how they run it. It needs Hawaiian music, a good decorator, and good food. It actually wouldn’t be that hard to make it fabulous again.

Write the Fairmont if you've been ripped off too. Maybe it was just a bad night, but I don't think so.

[ Edited by: pariartspaul 2008-04-28 11:03 ]

Wow...bummer...but thanks for the candid review Paul. I was planning on taking out-of-town guests there in a few weeks and it would be my first time. Sounds like a bust though, so will make other plans probably.

I am really dissapointed too that the revolving restaurant at the top of the Hyatt Regency is no longer in business...that was such an awesome view.

Anyone have a suggestion for a good bar in San Francisco (that also serves appetizers)?

Aloha VampiressRNN,

Just to let you know that I got a call just now from Sharon, the Tonga room manager, and we had quite a nice conversation. She tells me that normally there is tropical background music when the band isn't playing. It must have been off the Friday night we went. Also, she says the Mongolian Beef is fabulous.

I'd say, go ahead and take your friends to the Tonga room for Happy Hour and check the place out. And I'm sure they'd love to see the lobby and some of the public areas of the Fairmont, it's really beautiful. At the Tonga, they do have a reasonably-priced happy hour buffet there, and as I said the drinks were okay. It is worth seeing the place if you haven't. Be warned the band starts at nine except for Mondays and Tuesdays. I would just avoid the dinner.

On 2008-04-28 10:58, pariartspaul wrote:
We’d heard it had been recently undergone a huge renovation. All I can say is it must have looked really awful before.

Quite the contrary. It looked great before. See pictures here.

Too bad. Glad I got to experience it while it still looked good, even if nothing else about it measured up.

Can a San Franciscan Tikiphile who knows the Tonga Room shed some more light on the extent and effect of the renovations? Loss of Tapa does not sound good...

I visited the Tonga Room about a month ago - it was really nice - but I have not been there before it was renovated, so I don't know what it looked like before. There were still what appeared to be old-school tiki there - tapa too, with clubs and other weapons

Menu

drink menu - Mai Tais were not really good - too acidic, and $10 a pop.

Thatch roof over dinner table

cool relief on the wall:

Raining over the pool (sorry, no band tonight):

Me (in the back-middle) and friends/coworkers at dinner:

The food was excellent. Sorry I didn't get better pictures...

On 2008-07-10 08:33, tikigap wrote:
Raining over the pool (sorry, no band tonight):

Trust me! That's the only way you want to see that little band boat! The band that's usually in it is terrible!!! Unless you're into cheezy, "easy listening," almost karaoke, versions of disco and other bad pop tunes. Consider yourself lucky they weren't playing that night!

I was wondering why on Earth they'd want pure WHITE concrete on the bottom of their central pool, rather than a much more appropriately tropical-looking turquoise???

It seems to me that plain white would be sterile and ugly.

Of course, many actual swimming pools have white concrete bottoms, but those are deep enough that the water ITSELF naturally provides the illusion of bluish-green color.

But surely that pool in the Tonga Room is much too shallow to provide any significant color just from the water itself, right?

Someone who's been there SINCE the recent re-decoration please clue me in on this!

Mucho Mahalos! :drink:

I was there with several other TCers the night they re-opened. I saw tiles on the bottom of the pool, not concrete. I think they're original, or at least were there before the remodel. Whether the color comes from the water, or the tile, is not something I considered, so I can't really tell you what color they were. But they were definitely tiles. You can see the grout lines if you look closely.

[ Edited by: hanford_lemoore - Fixed username - 2008-07-13 13:30 ]

nevermind!

[ Edited by: JenTiki 2008-07-13 14:09 ]

On 2008-04-30 23:37, bigbrotiki wrote:
Can a San Franciscan Tikiphile who knows the Tonga Room shed some more light on the extent and effect of the renovations? Loss of Tapa does not sound good...

Here are shots I took last night at Happy Hour. My daughter and I had a great time, and from my prior visit, I didn't really feel that anything had changed. These shots will be full size, so be patient. Feel free to compare and contrast with my earlier shots.

Whatever changes were made weren't glaring to me and did NOT affect my visit there in any detrimental way. Not being a "regular" and only having visited once before the changes, don't dogpile me if you think the place has changed for the worse. Because in my humble opinion, the place rocks and should have its own Tiki Central weekly contingent day.

As to the loss of Tapa, at least the late 60's early 70's op-art wall hangings do not distract at all, and are quite fitting to the feel of the room.

I'll add captions later as I am doing this from work... And pardon me if I did a few repetitive shots, I just love shooting in this place. Until The Maitre D comes up and tells me very politely that unless you are photographing your party, that you are not allowed to take shots with people in them, "they don't like that". So my further pic. taking was on the sly... Sorry Tonga guy... I had to!

There ya go!!!

[ Edited by: TikiGardener 2008-07-31 13:39 ]

[ Edited by: tikigardener 2008-07-31 13:55 ]

[ Edited by: TikiGardener 2009-11-16 16:56 ]

Well, I must say that the quasi-60s-70s print they picked out for the tapa replacement doesn't look bad. I was expecting the worst, frankly. Now, if they'd just fix the food, drinks and the band! But you are right, the place is visually stunning.

It's still a far cry from what it originally looked like! :D

Triple argggghh! You probably had no idea I'm living in SF these days, but next time, please send up a flare! It would have been a treat to see you & meet your daughter. Are you still in town?

Aloha amigos!

A postcard from my collection.

From the back:
THE TONGA ROOM
San Francisco's most unusual restaurant, featuring Chinese and American Foods, Cocktails and Mixed Drinks, Enchanting Music.

The Fairmont Hotel

Z

As I posted in The DeYoung Museum Thread, I've been working with medium, format fil cameras for a few months now, so here are some clickable thumbnails of some black and white 120mm film shots I took while on a visit to the Tonga Room. More to follow as I can edit them.

Sorry for the Tonga Image overkill... I'm obsessive compulsive when it come to cameras... and a lot of other things...

Again CLICK THEM for larger versions... And I'll be adding more of course!

TG
http://exotic-tiki-gardens.com

[ Edited by: TikiGardener 2008-08-06 12:36 ]
added more images.

[ Edited by: TikiGardener 2008-08-06 12:45 ]

[ Edited by: TikiGardener 2008-08-06 13:03 ]
Added one more image...

[ Edited by: tikigardener 2008-08-08 12:27 ]

I have been in SF for the past couple of days and had the opportunity of visiting the Tonga twice. While I am truly amazed that a place like this is allowed to exist and thrives in such a great city (the Tonga would be gone by now if it was in New York), I can't say that I was thrilled with the drinks. I only had the Mai Tai and the Zombie. Good, but a little on the sugary side. Anyway, I probably shouldn't be complaining. This place is top notch good times. A simulated thunderstorm AND a floating bandstand? Are you kidding?? The Tonga is amazing just on that alone. Not to mention that gorgeous bar. I am headed back to LA day after tomorrow and will be drinking Trader Vic Mai Tais until the end of August. I cringe at the $14.00 price but it's the best Mai Tai anywhere and does edge out the Tonga's drinks.

On 2008-08-07 23:54, donhonyc wrote:
I have been in SF for the past couple of days

You're in San Francisco for more than a day and not coming across the bay to Forbidden Island in Alameda or Trader Vic's in Emeryville?!? If you want good drinks you gotta cross the water! If you don't have access to a car, there are lots of other ways to get over to this side and you won't regret the 20-30 minute trip!

PM me if you want to know your transportation options. And put up a thread if you want some of the locals to meet up with you at either of those locations. Frankly, the Tonga Room looks cool, but most of us who had high hopes for the "redo" were sadly disappointed that the drinks, food, and service still suck, yet cost even more than before, and we haven't been back since re-opening night. If you want more than just history from your tiki experience in the Bay Area, the East Bay has much better options.

You're in San Francisco for more than a day and not coming across the bay to Forbidden Island in Alameda or Trader Vic's in Emeryville?!? If you want good drinks you gotta cross the water! If you don't have access to a car, there are lots of other ways to get over to this side and you won't regret the 20-30 minute trip!

PM me if you want to know your transportation options. And put up a thread if you want some of the locals to meet up with you at either of those locations. Frankly, the Tonga Room looks cool, but most of us who had high hopes for the "redo" were sadly disappointed that the drinks, food, and service still suck, yet cost even more than before, and we haven't been back since re-opening night. If you want more than just history from your tiki experience in the Bay Area, the East Bay has much better options.

I should have opened my mouth sooner, but I am leaving tomorrow to go back to LA for 2 weeks and then back to (ugh!) NYC. Like I said, I have already been to TV at the Beverly Hilton, but I plan on going to Tiki Ti and Damon's. Also today by accident I stumbled upon Trad'r Sam's in the Sea Cliff area of SF. Didn't even look for it, just happened to find it while riding on the 38 bus out to the Cliff House. Fun place, drinks weren't bad.

It's amazing to me that in the last week I have already been to three, yes THREE Tiki establishments on the West Coast without even really trying. This could never happen in the New York area. Well, maybe if all the Tiki establishments you go to are Chinese restaurants or new bars that are fair-at best- imitations of Tikiana.

So I finally got up to the city to go to the Tonga Room. The place looked great, and most of the drinks were ok; however the zombie I got was truly terrible. The big downer was the music. There was a band playing, which I was forced to pay a $7 cover for. They were playing bad 70's covers way too loud. I could not talk to my friend over the cacophony.

The only vegetarian item on the menu was of poor quality, and way too expensive. The food, in general, is terribly overpriced. I think I would have enjoyed it still if it were not for the auditory assault on my ears that lasted the whole evening. I can only recommend the place if there is no band, and you just go for appetizers and drinks. Even then, don't expect much except very cool decor. Could have been much, much better.

The good-lady-wife and myself were in the Tonga last Tuesday, the stupid steep hill getting up to the Tonga was the worst thing about it.

We luckily missed the buffet and were too early for the band, so we got to experience the bar in a not too offensive form. My Mai Tai was over sweet but loaded with rum and the wife's Singapore sling was acceptable. I found the bar staff friendly and we had a good time.

The decore is something else, but i think i prefer a lower celling on tiki bars, the height of the Tonga rooms was quite surprising.

Marian and I visited last April when we were in town, and although the band was not playing, I have no idea what some of you are complaining about. I have been going to the Tonga Room since the early 1980's, and from what I saw on my latest visit the clean up was just that - not a remodel in any way. This is one of the few stand-out old Tiki joints left. Are the drinks Mai-Kai quality? No, but very few places can claim that. I prefer the feel of Tonga Room over the Emoryville Vics, which I found to be pretty sterile by comparison. If you are lover of old-school Tiki, go.

On 2008-08-16 01:27, Kailuageoff wrote:
Marian and I visited last April when we were in town, and although the band was not playing, I have no idea what some of you are complaining about. I have been going to the Tonga Room since the early 1980's, and from what I saw on my latest visit the clean up was just that - not a remodel in any way. This is one of the few stand-out old Tiki joints left. Are the drinks Mai-Kai quality? No, but very few places can claim that. I prefer the feel of Tonga Room over the Emoryville Vics, which I found to be pretty sterile by comparison. If you are lover of old-school Tiki, go.

Agreed!

Indeed! Seriously.

I don't have the tiki traveling cred that some here do, but dang if I don't know that
between the sterile confines of Trader Vic's "modernisation" of tiki, or Tonga...
I kinda gotta say Tonga is gonna win out.

Anyone willing to say that The Las Vegas Trader Vics is better than Tonga, Bahooka, etc...
well lets step outside.... The tiddley winks show down will be on, and I wink a mean
tiddley...