Tiki Jokes?

Tiki... (of course!)

T3

I am Ishmael.

In his quest to vanquish Moby Dick, Captain Ahab has brought a giant tiki onto the Pequod, a tiki known as Tangaroa, one of the great gods and god of the sea. The captain commanded Tangaroa to guide the ship to the great white whale.

What the captain did not realize was that this tiki god represents all sea creatures and not humans. So when Moby Dick was sighted and the captain cast off in the harpoon boat he was in for plenty of trouble.

Captain Ahab shot the harpoon into the white whale, but Moby Dick was too powerful and was only angered. In the process, the captain became entangled in the harpoon line, was snatched from the boat into the rough sea, and soon found himself lashed to the whale, unable to free himself.

The first mate shouted out from the Pequod, "Captain! What are your orders?"

The captain shouted back, "Ask the tiki and hurry!"

So the first mate called out to the great Tangaroa, "Oh, mighy tiki god of the sea, what is your order?"

Then, in a deep resounding voice that could be heard throughout the entire ship the tiki god spoke, "I'll have a venti triple shot, double pump, no whip, skim, Raspberry Mocha and a doppio skim Espresso Macchiato".

Whether that's a joke or not remains to be seen. I just made it up today on my way back from Starbucks. This 'joke' assumes that everyone knows Starbuck was the first mate.

On 2007-06-30 19:13, Tamapoutini wrote:
Tiki... (of course!)

T3

Tiki who?

Jeez, it's been so long Ive forgotten the punchline...

A: er, Tiki your hands up; this is a robbery!

(ok lame, but at least Im trying) Tiki jokes anyone..?

T :)

Did you hear about the Polynesian Chieftan who collected chairs carved from stone? He collected so many that his grass hut was completely filled with these chairs. So his collection spilled over to the attic (sounds familiar?) One night while he was sleeping, the bamboo rafters gave way and the stone chairs crushed him to death. The moral of the story is that people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

On 2017-07-10 11:28, MadDogMike wrote:
...people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

Ding ding ding! Great one!

-Randy

What did the tiki do when his political party chopped him with an axe?
He joined a splinter group!

Who's the greatest tiki lawman?
The Lono Ranger!

What happens when the tiki snuggles with his girlfriend?
He gets wood!

Why did the cracked tiki mug give up drinking?
He couldn't hold his liquor!

What did the tiki name the little son that Crazy Al carved for him?
Chip!

What party do they throw when a Jewish tiki comes of age?
A Tiki Bar Mitzvah!

What do you call a tiki mug whose genitalia have broken off?
Tiki Bobbit!

What did Tiki Bob say to Wendy Cevola?
"Do you think a dame like you could go for a mug like me?"

Why do some people carve such filthy tikis?
Cause they're dirty chiselers!

Why are tiki mugs so hesitant?
They have feet of clay!

Who's the funniest tiki?
Milton Burl!

Where do tikis go for Saturday night league play?
The Scorpion Bowl!

What does a tiki with a cold smear on his chest?
Trader Vic's Vapo Rub!

I'm a tiki! Do you know what I wear around my neck?
Mai Tai!

Where do tikis dump their trash?
The Place of Refuse!

What do you call an imprisoned tiki?
Tiki Con!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sven!
Sven who?
Sven you gonna stop telling tiki jokes?

Th-th-th-th-thatch all, folks!

If Van Tiki has three tikis and he gives you one tiki, how many tikis would Van Tiki have?
Three! Why the hell would he give away a tiki!?

My favorite :lol:

On 2017-07-21 00:05, KokoKele wrote:
Why did the cracked tiki mug give up drinking?
He couldn't hold his liquor!

You've been busy Kokokele!

Got on a roll, there.