Heartwarming vintage catch phrases

On 2003-07-03 00:39, dogbytes wrote:
ps: another burning question: why is Jesus's middle name "H." ?

That's funny, I always thought his middle name was "Fucking".

Here's mine:

Gosh, you're swell. ( I use this one in every day life )

Give me the skinny! ( This one too )

On 2003-06-25 13:53, tikifish wrote:

(when it was cold out)
"It's colder than a witches' tit!"

(PG version for when we were little)
"It's colder than a witches' refrigerator!"

Hey Fish, I know the long version:

"It's colder than a witches' tit, in a brass bra on the dark side of the moon."

My Grandma once told me (when I was sitting on the kitchen table):
"Tables are for glasses, Chairs are for..."
she wouldn't finish it. I just figured it out.

My Grandpa gave me some advice for picking up chicks. He told me:
"Ask them if they like chicken, and when they say 'Yes' stick out your arm and tell them to 'Grab a wing!'"
He also told me chicks like to be called:
"Classy Tomatoes"
I don't remember if any of his advice worked!

On 2003-07-03 09:48, purple jade wrote:
Read much Stephen King? I know I've picked up a few favorites from his earlier books.
Pretty sure he used yours, as well as "Christ on a cracker" and "Jesus in a sidecar".

One of my favorites of SK's I think is from "The Dark Half." A none-too-swift security guard (or cop?) saying over and over, "Ask Mama if she believes this." In the context it was hilarious.

On 2003-06-25 17:28, Humuhumu wrote:
My grandmother would loudly exclaim "GOOD NIGHT NURSE!" at least once every time I visited her.

...and every time I see YOU, I say "Helllooo nurse!".
:wink:

When I was a kid, and my sisters and I would climb up on the furniture, as kids do, and my mum would say "Get off the table Mabel, the quarter is for the beer". I had no idea what this meant for decades, but my sisters and I regurgitated it ad nauseum anyway.

On 2003-07-04 09:02, tiki_kiliki wrote:
Here's mine:

Gosh, you're swell.

Someone said something similar to me recently. It was quite heartwarming!

Here is a few I have picked up over the years from many an ol folk:

For something slippery:
"That thing is slicker than a goose turd on the pump handle."

Regarding idiots:
"There are three types of people, those who can count and those who cannot."

When astounded:
"What in the wide wide wide world of sports is going on here?" or " what on god's great green planet is going on here?"

For trips to the terlet:
" I have to drop the Waltons off at the pond." or for a dude finishing up:
"Shakin the dew off the lily"

For descibing the not so beautiful:
"That girl is uglier that a mud fence" or " she must be part indian and part chinese...ugh-lee"

For describing the good lookin:
She is so fine, I would drink here bathwater.

And my favorite for describing something that was a bad idea:

The dogs kennel is no place to keep a sausage.

Chongolio

Some of my favorites are:

"It's good enough for government work", meaning the task wasn't done perfectly, but it will have to do.

"This is asses and elbows", meaning the project is disorganized or chaotic.

"Quit grab-assing", meaning stop fooling around. (My middle school gym teacher used to say this to us. I'm not sure why as I never actually saw anyone actually grabing anyones ass.)

"Time for a flogging", meaning someone did something wrong and they deserve a beating.

Oh yeah, I forgot about this one use fairly often when someone starts going off subject in a convesation:
"What does that have to do with the price of pork?"
I picked that one up from Clark Gable in one of his old African Safari films.

Chongolio

I've always liked "smart as a bag of hammers" and "fill yer boots" (go for it)
Don't know where I got "that and a buck-fifty will get you a cup of coffee" (for something that doesn't matter or mean anything" but I've never heard it from anyone else
But the Valley Girl in me will always love "no, but your face is" as an all-purpose response. (it's in the movie) Is that old-time yet?

[ Edited by: Tikibaby on 2003-07-15 20:15 ]

"A face like a can of smashed assholes".

Charming, eh?

em

A buck fifty? That's the updated version I guess! (Tim Hortons propaganda people are affot methinks). I always heard 'that and a quarter will get you a cup of coffee'. SO It's an old one all right!

My dad said to me the other day talking about a no good dirty rotten filthy somebody:

"Some people are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them!"

On 2003-07-05 23:12, tikibars wrote:
When I was a kid, and my sisters and I would climb up on the furniture, as kids do, and my mum would say "Get off the table Mabel, the quarter is for the beer". I had no idea what this meant for decades, but my sisters and I regurgitated it ad nauseum anyway.

This came up a few years ago when my friends and i rediscovered Carling's "Black Label" a long forgotten Canadian beer. Our friends dad goofed on our thinking we'd discovered something new -- the whole time struggling to recall the old commercial, "Something like, 'Quarter's on the table, Mabel... get me a Black Label,' No wait... it was..."
Anyways, I think that's where it's from.

When one of us kids was pouting, my grandfather would say, "Put yer lip back in, a bird's gonna poop on it!"

When we cried, he'd say, "Hey there, Horse-butt-face!"

My Mom would often exclaim, "Shit-FAR (dilect 'Fire")!"

My friend's Stepfather was advising him on some matter and exclaimed, "Mumble...damn scalded-ass-babboon!"

-FB

Heh...these are great.

My Grandma's was 'spend a penny' when referring to using the washroom, and Grandpa used 'bloody hell' quite a bit, but always appologised for swearing.

'You're toast!' meant 'you're dead meat!' in the 80's. we also used 'your ass is grass'

'That's the cat's ass!' means that's great

and a 'shit disturber' is someone causing trouble.

instead of prayers at supper time my Mum's family used 'past the teeth, the tip of the tongue, look out stomach here it comes!'

I always got 'I'm as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth' from older relatives.

And, like Hanford, my Mum always called me a raggamuffin when my clothes were not tucked in properly.

"You're cruisin' for a bruisin'!"

--cynner's dad

Cyn, I used to get that one ALLL the time from my Mom

I like radio talk show host Phil Hendrie's "sweet feathery Christ!"

And fred Mertz's "Oh for corn's sake!"

Guys in the army used to say "I was happier then a puppy with two peters"

Or "funnier then a cat caught in a briar patch"

Or "that guy is slicker then whaleshit on an ice flow!"

My wife's mother used this one when her girls would ask:

"Whatcha doin?"
"Playing tiddlywinks with manhole covers."

It wasn't till years later that my wife learned you couldn't actually play tiddlywinks with manhole covers.

My uncle sometimes refers to fat people as "Cheesecake Technicians"

On 2004-11-01 14:40, Sabu The Coconut Boy wrote:
It wasn't till years later that my wife learned you couldn't actually play tiddlywinks with manhole covers.

Sure you can -- if you're from Brobdingnag! :D

When my dad worked as a COBOL programmer for Carnation Milk in downtown L.A., he referred to the local dumpster-diving homeless people as "retired programmers."

My dad's favorite was "I'm tired of people pissin' on me and tellin' me it's rain."

Things my Grandmother used to say:

"If wishes were fishes we'd never go hungry."

"Hell's Bells!"

"Hop quick, like a bunny!"

"Heaven's to Betsy!"

"Your eyes are bigger than your stomache."
This one I took literally as a child and baffled me for years until I was old enough to figure it out.

Upon inquiring of the time of day: "Half-passed a monkey's ass and a quarter till his balls!"

Grandpa used to ask: Do you live at home or ride a bicycle?
That always made my mom laugh but I never got it as a kid. And my dad used to get me with his offer to pay me "2 bits" for a chore. I still don't know if he was rippin' me off?