Words of Wisdom

My late father once said to me:

"Son,
Life is like a Shit Sandwich:
The more bread you have,
The less shit you have to eat"

I just thought I'd share the advice.
Feel free to post your ancestral knowledge here.

-Z

If we ever complained or whined about something(i.e.,why can't we get the more expensive souvenir on vacation,etc.),my father would always say "Well,it's better than a stick in the eye".I use that one now.

Hangovers is nature's way of reminding you who's in charge.

Run to the roundhouse Nellie
He'll never corner you there.

all i know is that my parents did not read dr. spock's child rearing book. forget "time-outs," we got smacks on the butt with the clothes brush...

i guess although i grew up in the 70's i had more of a 40's/50's parenting environment

If I ever whined for something I obviously couldn't have, my Mom would say...

Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first.

But on a more serious note... I always tell my daughter- Think about what you do and say and how it effects other people. I'm so old (35! where did the time go?).

I always tell my daughters - Recognition of gain or loss is required as a component of net periodic pension cost for a year if, at the beginning of the year, the absolute value of the net unrecognized gain or loss exceeds 10% of the greater of the projected benefit obligation or the value of the plan assets.

(kids never listen though...)

On 2004-06-15 06:30, docwoods wrote:
"Well,it's better than a stick in the eye".

Ha. That's classic.
mine went like this:

me: Hey Dad, can I have 5 bucks?
Dad: Sure, as soon as my rich uncle gets out of the poor house.

-Z

where's GOTtiki? on this one? I'm sure he's got some beauts!

On 2004-06-15 10:24, suburbanpagan wrote:
where's GOTtiki? on this one? I'm sure he's got some beauts!

Suburbanpagan,

Take it from a TC'r on parole, you're risking hard time with a post like that.

[ Edited by: DaneTiki 2009-08-30 19:08 ]

The words from a cartoon superhero...

"You knew the job was dangerous when you took it Fred"

Quote from Superchicken

From my father:

"It takes a real man to keep it all worn off."
--Always said while holding up shirt and pointing to his completely hairless chest.

Yes, that's my paw. Now you know how I got all classy 'n shit.

I read you loud and clear Tiki-Bong! I'm usually not that chippy!

the best tv dad ever

my dad's words of wisdom were the sound of a table saw as I was midway through a deep question for him!

I did not have the pleasure of growing up with a father, and when you grow up an only child of a single parent who gets no child support the biggest saying I heard was whenever I would ask for something was "What you think money grows on trees!?" also her other fav was "You better clean that plate, there are starving children in Africa who would love to have that"

You can pick your freinds and you can pick your nose but you cant pick your freinds nose. Maybe I got a few words mixed up but it was something like that.

My favorite thrift store wisdom:

The things that come to those that wait
may be the things left by those who got there first.

I've always liked all versions of:

Don't sweat the petty bits, pet the sweaty bits.

On 2004-06-15 13:11, Tiki-Toa wrote:
I did not have the pleasure of growing up with a father, and when you grow up an only child of a single parent who gets no child support the biggest saying I heard was whenever I would ask for something was "What you think money grows on trees!?" also her other fav was "You better clean that plate, there are starving children in Africa who would love to have that"

Tiki-Toa,

I can sort of relate as I lived with my mom and her husband as a kid.

I got the impression they sort of considered me a piece of furniture from some previous living arrangement that you had to drag along if you wanted to marry my mom.

Oddly enough, my time at the military academy didn't seem all too different from the life I experienced at home.

I've always told my son to keep kicking against the pricks. And that you don't kick a man when he's down, unless it's a bar fight.

Some wisdom from my mother-when I was in high school,she always said "Be nice to the boys whose pants are too short and wear pocket protectors-they're the ones who are going to have all the money".How true.

"Watch out for snakes"

Fellow member of the Tiki Central Bastards here!

However, my friends' dads were full of advice.

One I heard when I was 10 or 12, but still resonates today...

"Son, the fuckin' ya get ain't worth the fuckin' ya take."

Pardon my French.

Later that year, the same guy tried to quit drinking and went into DT's. I was walking by on the street and he thought I was a zombie from Hell and shot me in the leg.

Then he killed his self. It was attempted zombie-cide / suicide.

Well, that was grim sounding. There were good times, too!

Later that same year,

Don't shit on your own doorstep.

When my dad turned 50 he gave me a piece of sage advice about life..

Whatever you do have fun, and if you ain't having fun don't do it.

.. now every time i quit a job or split from a partner and he asks why? I just say it wasn't fun. I think when he turns 60 he'll have diffren't advice.

this came from my best freind's brother-in-law, but it was classic all the same.

the first time i was introduced to him, it went like this:

him: hi, i'm john
me: hi, i'm john too
him: i guess when you get down to it, we're all johns.

ha!

On 2004-06-14 19:06, Feelin' Zombified wrote:
My late father once said to me:

"Son,
Life is like a Shit Sandwich:
The more bread you have,
The less shit you have to eat"

I just thought I'd share the advice.
Feel free to post your ancestral knowledge here.

-Z

My dad's word's of wisdom passed on to me when bringing up a dead, but sore topic.

"Shit doesn't stink until you stir it up with a stick."

The other favorite was:

"Opinions are like a$$holes, everyone's got one."

"If your nose runs and your feet smell, you're upside down."

Not from my Dad, but he and I both like to use it.

-Randy

On 2004-06-14 19:06, Feelin' Zombified wrote:
My late father once said to me:

"Son,
Life is like a Shit Sandwich:
The more bread you have,
The less shit you have to eat"

-Z

I've been thinking this one over.

For a given shit sandwich, I would expect that it would contain the same shit serving size regardless of the number of slices of bread that were used, just as a larger bun does not make a given hamburger patty any smaller.

Maybe more bread would just make the shit serving appear smaller.

Also, if the establishment that was serving said sandwich wanted you to keep coming back for more of their shit, they might even add some more shit to go along with your extra bread.

Then, of course, if the pieces of bread were larger in area rather than thickness, you could end up with all kinds of extra shit! Extra bread that lacks sufficient depth could lead to more shit being laddled onto your sandwich.

To be safest, I'd say, "If you take your shit and eat it straight up, you're likely to have the smallest possible total serving of shit."

Plus, you avoid all those carbs.

Me? Lately, I feel like I get my shit sandwiches from The Carnegie Deli!

:lol:

It's a great saying, Zombified, I'm just goofing off a little today.

[ Edited by: Geeky Tiki on 2004-06-16 15:22 ]