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Dear Liloti,

I was surprised to recently read that an Aloha shirt may not be the most appropriate attire for every place I go. This threw me for a loop as my lady and I have been "cordially invited" to a "nice casual" "garden party" and I was thinking of wearing some khaki linen trousers, a long sleeved tapa print linen shirt, and my Tahitian pearl cuff links.

Besides the possible inappropriateness of an Aloha shirt my lady said one shouldn't wear linen trousers and a linen shirt together and that cuff links are too much for a "garden party." I think linen is the very definition of "nice casual" and my cuff links are very understated and quite posh. We agreed, however, to stand by your opinion.

Sincerely,

woofmutt

PS: Sandals or huaraches?

[ Edited by: woofmutt 2011-01-07 10:58 ]

Dear Liloti,

I have a friend who I'll call "Sprinkles" (not his real name, of course) who loves his Mai Tais. The problem is that he often drinks too much and then makes inappropriate public comments. I value his friendship but want him to know that his actions are unacceptable. What would be the best way to stage an intervention (from the comfort of my own home of course, I don't want to have to get up from my computer chair)? I want him to feel valued & uplifted as a person, and not to become cynical & sarcastic.

Howling at the moon,
MadDog Mike

woofmut asks....
Dear Liloti,
I was surprised to recently read that an Aloha shirt may not be the most appropriate attire for every place I go. This threw me for a loop as my lady and I have been "cordially invited" to a "nice casual" "garden party" and I was thinking of wearing some khaki linen trousers, a long sleeved tapa print linen shirt, and my Tahitian pearl cuff links.
Besides the possible inappropriateness of an Aloha shirt my lady said one shouldn't wear linen trousers and a linen shirt together and that cuff links are too much for a "garden party." I think linen is the very definition of "nice casual" and my cuff links are very understated and quite posh. We agreed, however, to stand by your opinion.
Sincerely,
woofmutt
PS: Sandals or huaraches?

Dearest woof,
The most appropriate gear for a gardening party would be
a wide brim hat
some overalls
sunglasses
and thick gloves,easy to manipulate
boots or Chuck Taylor Hi-top Sneakers (Black will take the dirt stains better)
Sandals and huaraches will allow dirt to filth up the inside of the footwear
Plus, they'll get your white tube socks all grimey..
Hope this helped!
Have fun!
cufflinks? gardening party!?!? :lol:

MadDog Mike asks....
Dear Liloti,
I have a friend who I'll call "Sprinkles" (not his real name, of course) who loves his Mai Tais. The problem is that he often drinks too much and then makes inappropriate public comments. I value his friendship but want him to know that his actions are unacceptable. What would be the best way to stage an intervention (from the comfort of my own home of course, I don't want to have to get up from my computer chair)? I want him to feel valued & uplifted as a person, and not to become cynical & sarcastic.
Howling at the moon,
MadDog Mike

Dear MadDog,
First thing.....Rhypnol.
Add that to his maiTai and he'll be quiet,calm,and silent for the duration of the party.
You could also allow this "sprinkles" to follow his Malo lengua wherever it leads him
just pull folks aside and gently say,"that's my Cousin,he has Tourettes"
In this PC environment,noone will question you....
Remember,this is America and ALL types of crazy behavior is tolerated
and oft-times....encouraged!
San Diego Street Fair,Tiki Oasis,and LA LAkers riots to name a few...
But if you must....
May i suggest you harangue this "sprinkles" via e-mail and incessant phone calls...
but always end the message with "i heart you Sprinkles! We all heart you!"
basically knock the cynical and sarcastic attitude right out of the water!
Hopefully, that will help.....

[ Edited by: little lost tiki 2009-06-17 08:39 ]

M

Dear Little Lost
My question is,should Hawaiian shirts be tucked in or worn out? I wear mine out to hide my done-lapped disease.
Sincerely
mudbone

Dear Little Lost
My question is,should Hawaiian shirts be tucked in or worn out? I wear mine out to hide my done-lapped disease.
Sincerely
mudbone

Dearest mudbone,
Hawaiian shirts should always be worn out.
This facilitates the breathing and comfort of the more "prosperous" bellies...
Tucking in a Hawaiian shirt is taboo throughout the world
unless you work at the ChartHouse or some fancy establishment.
(which shouldn't require Hawaiian shirts in the first place)
The wearing out of the Hawaiian shirt and the "coverin-o-the-gut"
also helps the wearer's chances of scoring with Hot babes...
Thanks for the inquiry,Mr. bone!:)

Dear little lost tiki,

Why did woofmut start a post about (someone besides himself )answering questions ?

love,
little lost tiki

I think Little Lost Tiki just made the writing equivalent of dividing by zero.

R

Dear Mister Lil'LosT,

Why?

Cordially yours,

Miss Von Animous

ravenne asked....

Dear Mister Lil'LosT,

Why?

The answer to this one is obvious
even after a severe head explosion...

Why?

Because the monkey was naughty and placed in a "time-out"
under the little girl's chair1
It's simple if you give the picture a little time to tell its story...
Also examine the bisecting planes in the composition
and the giant midget weird fellow's stance
achieving a perfect 45 degree angle...
And don't get me started about the tablecloth!

Thanks for the inquiry!
:)

Look! More Art!

http://www.kenruzic.com
http://www.myspace.com/kenruzicdotcom
http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=19904&forum=18&start=0

[ Edited by: little lost tiki 2009-06-17 18:01 ]

S

When my Hawaiian shirt is worn out I just get a new one.

Here! Here!
QUESTIONS ONLY!
:)

S

Alex, What is - When my Hawaiian shirt is worn out I just get a new one - for 20 please.

Category
Things King Kamehameha would say...

Dear LiLoTi....

Do you think this picture was staged, or is this further evidence of the Division By Zero problem?

On 2009-06-17 19:03, Chip and Andy asked:
Dear LiLoTi....
Do you think this picture was staged, or is this further evidence of the Division By Zero problem?

Dear Chip and Andy,
Obviously staged...
I mean...the four background fellows form a square
3 officers and the driver...
but on further reflection
the ones in blue form a triangle
a solidly grounded object..

the UPS truck
WAS airborne
but is now GROUNDED

also examine the contrast between the
grass and the cement
great textural call on the photographer's part

The gentleman in the tuxedo
holds a WHITE sewing machine
representing purity

Also note how he is distanced from the square/triangle background figures
They must represent the masses....

Also the sidewalk and delivery truck bisect the piece into even more divisions...
So the answer is..
and obviously skilled photographer
attempting to topple the
Division By Zero theory...
Thank you for your participation!
:)

M

Dear Little Lost
Scientist say, men use half there brain to think and females use there whole brain to think. My question is, what kind of crap would men think of if they used their whole brain. Just asking?
Sincerely
mud

mudbone asked:
Dear Little Lost
Scientist say, men use half there brain to think and females use there whole brain to think. My question is, what kind of crap would men think of if they used their whole brain. Just asking?
Sincerely
mud

mudbone
good question....

too easy tho....

unfortunately the answer is
boobies
men would think of more boobies than normal
if they used their whole brain...

and sammiches!

and the Division By Zero mystery...

Thanks for your question!
:)

S

Dear LLT,

Are we "there" yet?

Confused in Carson

Dear Mr. Rusnick,
Where are your "before" pictures?
X's and O's,
Kiki v.

Deer Mr. Redsneck,

Why arrrrrr you affraid to go swimmming ?!?

Did somebody say sammiches? mmmmmmmmm

Dear Little Lost Tiki,

Do you think that if men could think with their whole brain, we would think of boobies, sammiches, and why we need our entire brain to think of boobies and sammiches and further more try to revert back to the half brain thinking pattern?

Wow! That's what i get for ignoring the computer for a few days!
Will answer all of your questions on Monday,my friends...

:)

Mr. redznook,

Why do you not use your home computer?

( i've seen it. your wife is a killer maussuse that everyone shoud got to !!!!

speaking of.... i'm way past due and Im feeling it. See you's soon!

now i forgot the question....

my back hurts but my hand really hurts. someone put a nail in it.

MT

Dear Kinny,
My laptop computer won't start up, and is displaying error PXE-E61: :media test failure, check cable. Since my laptop isn't connected to a LAN or any other peripherals, do you think my hard drive has crashed? I am sending this message from a different computer, obviously. Sincerely,
-Crashed in No. Cal

TM

"Well, you see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it’s the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

On 2009-06-19 11:12, squiddles wrote:
Dear LLT,
Are we "there" yet?
Confused in Carson

Dearest Squid...
yes!
We've been expecting you!
:)

On 2009-06-19 17:24, Kiki von Tiki wrote:
Dear Mr. Rusnick,
Where are your "before" pictures?
X's and O's,
Kiki v.

So nice of you to visit,Kiki!
they are in my bag
and awaiting scanning tonight or tomorrow night....
pinky promise!

On 2009-06-19 20:20, RevBambooBen wrote:
Deer Mr. Redsneck,
Why arrrrrr you affraid to go swimmming ?!?

Dear Rev,
it's not a fear of water issue
it's a fear of being all fish-belly white
fat
and middle-aged
in the equivalent of my underpants
in a public place...

Next!

On 2009-06-19 22:07, Jungle Trader wrote:
Did somebody say sammiches? mmmmmmmmm

Dear Jumgle Trader,
yes! sammiches were mentioned
tho nobody's volunteered to make them yet....
:)

On 2009-06-20 04:55, The Lounge Tiki wrote:
Dear Little Lost Tiki,
Do you think that if men could think with their whole brain, we would think of boobies, sammiches, and why we need our entire brain to think of boobies and sammiches and further more try to revert back to the half brain thinking pattern?

Mr. Lounge,
No,i imagine that men would evolve and eventually think of Walks on the Beach,Cuddling and Puppies...
no need to revert...

On 2009-06-20 11:34, MadDogMike wrote:
Scanners?

MDM-yes.

On 2009-06-20 21:59, RevBambooBen wrote:
Mr. redznook,
Why do you not use your home computer?
( i've seen it. your wife is a killer maussuse that everyone shoud got to !!!!
speaking of.... i'm way past due and Im feeling it. See you's soon!
now i forgot the question....
my back hurts but my hand really hurts. someone put a nail in it.

Dear Mr. Ben,
the answer to that question is easy....
TIME MANAGEMENT!
When I'm off work
i'm either napping,eating,sleeping,watching cable,reading the Screwtape letters,
or getting ready to go to the studio to paint...
The home computer gets used mostly when i post work
and that's about it....
Why waste all my off-time on the computer
when i can do it all at work?
:)

I'll tell Terrill about your sore back and stigmata....

On 2009-06-21 03:27, Mai Tai wrote:
Dear Kinny,
My laptop computer won't start up, and is displaying error PXE-E61: :media test failure, check cable. Since my laptop isn't connected to a LAN or any other peripherals, do you think my hard drive has crashed? I am sending this message from a different computer, obviously. Sincerely,
-Crashed in No. Cal

My dearest Uncle Billy,
i think you're speaking a foreign language! :lol:
Fortunately the title of this post is an invitation to "Ask Anything"...
Answers not always guaranteed...
Maybe GROG know answer.....

On 2009-06-21 08:07, lucas vigor wrote:
"Well, you see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it’s the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

Not a question mucus....
but a delightful observation!
:)

Keep em coming!

G
GROG posted on Mon, Jun 22, 2009 9:39 AM