Worst Toys Ever?

I remember slowly unwrappng a globe when I was about 8, and thinking my family must hate me, but at least it wasn't a sweater.

Eventually I painted it black and rolled, put a fake fuse on it and rolled it in the school library...that didn't go well, I digress.

What's the worst toy you ever got?

Some great ones are featured here, check out sky dancers, dentists must have loved that one!

http://www.radarmagazine.com/features/2006/12/toys.php

That's too funny! :lol:

The best part is that while I can't recall a "worst present ever" my parents seem to enjoy testing my little brother's and my SURVIVAL SKILLS! We received so many of those "Most Dangerous Toys Ever" and a few not listed!

Here's the ones on the list:

LAWN DARTS: Yep, we had um! And a really long front lawn, so there was NO WAY we were gonna just toss um some 10' feet from ring to ring, we put them at either end of the lawn, (trying to remember, never having measured it but it was a BIG sucker...mowing it SUCKED!), maybe 50' or even 100' or more. We HURLED those suckers! After several made holes in the side of the house, a few in the roof and finally the one that land sticking through the hood of my dad's green Chevy Vega....he cursed the day he bought them and threw them in the trash!

A HAMMOCK: as they mentioned missing the, "spreader bars," supports meant to keep the hammock open when it was "at ease." My brother and I would take turns twisting each other up in it and leaving the other guy hanging face down!

Creepy Crawler Thingmaker from Mattel Been there done that also! We had one. While I definitely remember a burned finger or two I guess my parents figured out that neither of was retarded enough to throw a MOLTEN HOT PLASTIC BUG AT EACH OTHER! Go figure! Not for sale in Trailer Parks or to families who have married a first cousin!

Battlestar Galactica Missile Launcher the Viper, the Cylon Raider, the Scarab, and the Stellar Probe. We had them all! Plus a whole series of GIANT ROBOTS with missile launchers, flying fists and other fun projectiles and plenty of other stuff that "launched" stuff!

Let's see, what did that list forget?
My Daisy BB Gun, (Remember "A Christmas Story), Skateboards with "steel" wheels, (OK so that dates me!), they sucked SO BAD. Hit a freakin ANT on the sidewalk and you'd face-plant in the sidewalk! :x
A Bow and Arrow Set, (that was taken away after I fired an arrow through our front door!). Fireworks and Cherry Bombs, (don't blame MY parents, our neighbors bought all those). I'm sure there were more!

We could even make something dangerous out things that weren't!
Like building a ramp to jump our bicycles off of, or over a bunch of kids that would lie down side by side under the jump, (this was the era of watching Evil Kenneil!)
AND OH MY GOD SKATEBOARDS AND BICYCLES, ROLLERSKATES AND SCOOTERS ALL WITHOUT HELMETS OR PADDING!!! :o
HOW EVER DID WE MANAGE TO SURVIVE?

[ Edited by: Dr.TikiMojo 2007-01-05 15:54 ]

Gigantelope,

This list ROCKS! I've sent this website out to just about everyone I know now - thank you!!
(And most write back with "I had 4 of these!")

F

The worst toy I ever got was a set of pink kitchen appliances for my Barbie Dolls. I remember wondering what my parents were thinking!

As I was born in 1959 my siblings and I had many of the toys on that list. We never managed to even burn ourselves with the Creepie Crawlies. Or impale anything with the Jarts.

My little brother did make a dental journal when his friend shot him in the face with a BB gun and the BB lodged in the roots of one of his molars....

My younger sister also had surgery to remove a sewing needle she somehow broke off in her pinky finger.

My brother had many injuries from things like the dog dragging him down the street by the leash, tripping over the dog and breaking his nose on the coffee table, jumping off the roof to try and grab the clothesline or falling off his bike and using his eyebrow for a brake...

And my all time favorite accident was when I was playing catch with some neighborhood kids, some of whom I was babysitting. One boy kept catching pop flys with his glove toward him. I told him not to, but of course the next ball I threw him went from his backwards glove straight to his nose. Broke it good...

My oldest son has broken my brothers record of ER visits. He has had stitches so many times I have lost count. Throw in a bad case of asthma and you become the neighborhood expert on if someones kid needs to go to the ER now or can wait 'til tomorrow for the doctor! My oldest son also managed to accidentally knock out 2 of his brothers teeth with a sword case. As they were wired to braces I had to unwire the braces to get the teeth back in. And our Orthodontist was out on the ocean fishing. I called him when it happened, he told me what to do, by his satellite phone. Then he met me at 10:30 that night to replace the mangled braces and make sure the teeth were positioned right. He told me he thought I should become a dentist...

So we should ban dogs, big brothers, bikes, sewing needles, BB guns, baseball, and babysitters?

Ahhh. Good times. Where are my Clackers and baseball sized SuperBall?

Does anyone recall those space-type guns that shot propellers? Cut the end off of my Dad's nose with one. Last time I saw that toy.

Hey, anybody else old enough to remember Dan Aykroyd as Irwin Mainway, manufacturer of Home Tattoo Kit (unsanitary needles and a bag of dark ink), "Johnny Space Commander Mask" (a plastic bag and a rubber band for securing the bag over the head), high-jump shoes (sneakers with firecrackers embedded in the soles), and of course Johnny Human Torch ( a bag of oily rags and a lighter)?

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/76jconsumerprobe.phtml
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/77/77dconsumerprobe.phtml
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/78/78qspot.phtml

On 2006-12-17 07:25, hodadhank wrote:

Hey, anybody else old enough to remember Dan Aykroyd as Irwin Mainway, manufacturer of Home Tattoo Kit (unsanitary needles and a bag of dark ink), "Johnny Space Commander Mask" (a plastic bag and a rubber band for securing the bag over the head), high-jump shoes (sneakers with firecrackers embedded in the soles), and of course Johnny Human Torch ( a bag of oily rags and a lighter)?

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/76jconsumerprobe.phtml
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/77/77dconsumerprobe.phtml
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/78/78qspot.phtml

Speaking of the Dan Aykroyd on SNL sketches, what about the bag of broken glass? That was one of my favorites! "It's just a bag with pieces of broken glass! Tons of fun!"
Seriously, great posts from everyone. I haven't laughed that much in a while.
The link to Radar is great, too! Their descriptions of each toy are so well written! I've been laughing so much I've got a stomach ache!

[ Edited by: TikiJosh 2006-12-19 13:09 ]

I've been laughing so hard I wasn't making noise!!!!
I grew up in Montana and every kid had Bow and arrows and a BB gun, even me. My uncle Tom and I would spend all day out in the woods by ourselves and do every dangerous thing imaginable. Including setting traps. damming up the creek, playing in old mine shafts, there was even a granite quarry up the mountain behind my Grandma's house that had old boxes of dynamite. We would shoot arrows into the air, set off fire crackers in beer cans, dig forts and jump off the end of the deck into cardboard boxes. Two stories up. I cant count how many times I was stuck halfway up or down the face of some huge granite boulder because I was too scared to move. During winter break we would take our rail sleds all the way up to the top of the mountain( it took a couple of hours for us to walk up there. Then we would sled all the way down to the house. Under barbed wire fences, over open mine pits, dodging trees and rocks.I think we only successfully made it all the way once without wiping out Ahh Good times.
I had clackers and I loved those things, they disappeared so did the pogo stick and the homemade stilts. the one Christmas present that really sticks out as the worst was the cardboard stereo.. WaaWaa the most humiliating was the mounted antlers with a sign that read Dawn's Bra Rack"

anyone remember the old Mr. Quarterback football thing? It would launch anything dozens of yards. Glass bottles, rocks, what have you. A kids catapult. Great idea.

On 2006-12-15 16:41, Gigantalope wrote:
Some great ones are featured here, check out sky dancers, dentists must have loved that one!

I still have mine! haha.. I'm 19 and have kept most of my toys...I never got injured by it though!

Worst toy I ever got was a gyroscope. It was seconds of fun! I don't know what my dad was thinking when he bought it (except that it was very inexpensive!) Mom was always the one that got me the cool toys I wanted.

I don't know if this is the worst toy or best. My dad went to Mexico in the early 60's and brought my brother and I back FIGHTING KNIVES.

They're razor sharp, and so friggin dangerous looking we kind of actually treated them with respect. That's fortunate, because my brother's came with a 'brass knuckles' handle that you could use on the backswing when fighting more than one guy. He could have technically killed me in about 7 seconds, but I would have taken his face with me, so our fights were sort of toned down forever after.

These ain't for decoration, my dad explained; they're USED in Mexico. I don't know what the moral of his story was.

Mine's still on my office wall behind me.

I was reading Thor's posts with pictures of the shrunken heads he's doing. Got me thinking of my creepy crawler set with the shrunken head mold. I put creepy crawler in the search box and found this forum. I wouldn't call creepy crawler the worst toy ever. I'd put it up there with the best ever. Here was a toy with metal molds that you could heat up hot enough to brand somebody with. You'd put your goop in and then cook it and when you put the hot mold in water to cool it it made that really cool quench sound. My brothers and I had the mold to make shrunken heads. We spent one whole summer making shrunken head after shrunken head. We put hair on them and they were just the greatest. When I had kids of my own they came out with a new version of the creepy crawler that sucked big time. I think the only way you could hurt yourself with it was a paper cut from the box. No danger no excitement. The goop hardened in some kind of chemical reaction that I'm sure was probably safe enough to eat. What a snoozefest. I wished I had my old creepy crawler set with the shrunken head mold.

Do you mean this one?

The only cool thing about the recently released sets is the "goop".
My friend and I spent hours making skull chains and shrunken heads with the new stuff. The glow in the dark blue is my favorite.

Psycho Tiki D (I know I am and I don't eat goop)!

That's it! I forgot about the eye. I remembered the scars and the nose bone but I had forgotten about the eye. We used to get so creative using different colored goops to make the eyes. You could stick them on your forehead like cyclops or wear them over your eye like a patch. I still wish I had one of those shrunken heads. As I remember it was the only mold that came in two parts. There was an insert so that you didn't use up all your goop making a shrunken head. 'Course we used to go all out once in awhile and make a head without the insert so it was big and thick. I wonder whatever happened to all my shrunken heads.

Do you mean one of these shrunken heads? There is also a small mold to make a bone to hook into the nose!

Pyscho Tiki D (I know I am and so are Thingmakers)!

Is that shrunken head from the old thingmaker or the new thingmaker? Looks pretty cool.

Old set, new goop!

PTD

On 2007-03-02 19:40, khan_tiki_mon wrote:
That's it! I forgot about the eye. I remembered the scars and the nose bone but I had forgotten about the eye. We used to get so creative using different colored goops to make the eyes. You could stick them on your forehead like cyclops or wear them over your eye like a patch. I still wish I had one of those shrunken heads. As I remember it was the only mold that came in two parts. There was an insert so that you didn't use up all your goop making a shrunken head. 'Course we used to go all out once in awhile and make a head without the insert so it was big and thick. I wonder whatever happened to all my shrunken heads.

I LOVED my thingmaker set!
I used to make shrunken heads and use them as pencil toppers. The nuns at my school banned them... :P
I made the bugs to scare other kids with, especially my little brother(wimp). :lol:
I would load myself up with scars and stitches :D
ahh, those were the days! Wish I had one now...

Even more dangerous "Thingmaker" playsets...missed opportunities to burn either the crap out of your hands or burn your parent's house down!

"Super Thingmaker" 5 sets in 1, however the shrunken head mold was not included.

"Creeple People" Alot like shrunken heads (with arms, hands, legs and feet)!

"Zoofie Goofies" What better way to learn about the animal kingdom while having fun at the same time!

"Fun Flowers" It was the Age of Aquarius after all (although, maybe my mom was questioning my sexuality)?

Burn baby burn,

Psycho Tiki D (I know I am and maybe the fumes from the goop made me this way)!

Thank you Psycho Tiki D for the great pictures. A real trip down memory lane for me. I never did set fire to my parents house. We did set fire to a friends house but that wasn't with the Thingmaker. We did that with a model rocket. My friends and I glued fins and a nose cone directly onto a D engine and surprisingly it was very unstable. Crashed into my friends roof, tore off some shingles, and started a fire by the chimney. Luckily my friends parents had a sense of humor. I've gotten older but I still haven't grown up.

My rockets just got bigger.

khan tiki mon,

If you ever make it out to California and are in the area, let me know...we can fire up the "Thingmakers" and make some more shrunken heads! Hold on to that rocket buddy and thanks for sharing!

PTD

[ Edited by: Psycho Tiki D 2007-03-07 19:16 ]

Worst toy ever. this slimey squichy thing that you throw aty the wall and it creep sdown slowly. It worked about 3 times then it had to so much gunk on it that it just fell to the floor right away. It wa steh worst toy ever.

Aiight

drunk now

g'night

OMG...this is all so hysterical. Gotta say that the "guys" always had the more dangerous things...not too much you can do to hurt anything with a Chatty Cathy doll (I still have mine...pull the string and she says "I love you"). Pretty tame.

I have a sister 2 years younger than me, and I remember my parents givng us the do not take candy from strangers lecture and don't ever go inside the old gheezers house next door. I think he was a sicko drunk, but one time he gave me and my sister slingshots and we got in big trouble for playing with those...and he got the lecture from hell from my Mom.

We did have the Rockem Sockem Robots...and that was about as dangerous as us girls got. I always thought that was a wierd toy for girls. I did have a fake tomy gun...but it had no launching...just the sound.

I think we mostly got in trouble not using toys. I was standing on the back of my sisters tricycle as my Mom yelled out the backdoor "get off the back of that tricycle or you will make your sister fall" and seconds later my sister was sprawled out on the patiod with her chin split wide open....to the ED for stitches.

We were playing parachute off the patio table. First we would both be on the table and then we would give the order to jump and off onto the grass we would land....great fun until my sister pushed me (and my make-believe parachite did not open), Mom came running out with me screaming my head off...of to the ED with a broken arm.

My sister ran headfirst at full speed into a sliding glass door at a shoestore and had to go to the ED with a egg-sized bump on her forehead.

One time my Dad was fixing an old raise & lower window that was managed by a rope mechanism. Me and my sister were goofing around and he said "you girls quit playing around that open window, I am fixing the rope mechanism and it could fall on you" seconds later my sister had her finger on the window sill, the window fell down with full force and took off her fingernail accompanied by her blood-curdling scream...off to the ED.

I did the fall of bicycle and use eyebrow for a break...LOL.

My Dad was always taking us out to the country to look at homes to buy and my sister was forever getting caught in barbaed wire or falling down a well and such.

Ran a needle though my finger while I was on my sewing machine and my sister was crawling on the floor up to the door and scared the sh_t out of me....she was a devious little thing.

When I was 18, I went with a bunch of drunken, drugged friends to the Del Mar marshes where there were lots of low-lying train trundles. We would play train-coffin. When you would see a train coming in the distance, we would all run to the bridges and crawl into the sides down under the rails. There was only room for one person in each cubby and you had to close and cover your eyes as the train ran over the top of you just inches from death. The sound was deafening, the bridge shook like crazy, it was very exilarating. I am too friken fat to ever try that again...LOL.

When my daughter turned 18 she bought herself a set of rock-em sock-em robots. I have no idea what was up with that. She bought hungry hungry hippos at the same time. ??

Marlborough the Mustang
He's almost for real
Just saddle him up
With spurs on your heal
No winding
No batteries
I want a horse too!
Marlborough the Mustang
Do we love you?!

We never had one of those contraptions, but here's our loot from a long ago Christmas:

Great picture....and look at that spoon and fork. :)