Ask Little Lost Tiki Absolutely Anything

Dear Little Lost Tiki...

Can I bum a smoke? I seem to have left mine at home. I have my own light though, thanks.

Jason

On 2009-07-31 09:44, Jason Wickedly grovelled:
Dear Little Lost Tiki...

Can I bum a smoke?
I seem to have left mine at home.
I have my own light though, thanks.

Jason

Only if it's for Danelle
if not...the first one's free
there will be a surcharge for more...
:)
HLOD!

On 2009-07-31 08:44, little lost tiki wrote:
Kiki,your inquiry seems more of a slight demand...
Please word the phrase more as a question
as the thread is "Ask little lost tiki anything"
sorry,guidelines and all...

Apologies and kindest regards.

Dear little lost tiki....

I have completely used up three pencils, the eraser part at least, trying to figure out the Division By Zero conundrum from earlier in this thread. And, I am running low on rum.

So......

a more reasonable question for my current state of inebriation:

Exactly how much wood does the woodchuck chuck?

For a couple weeks now this guy has been coming into the library and sitting at the computer next to me.

He might have decided to sit next to me because of my warm personality and vague cuddly resemblance to Santa Claus. But I think it's more likely that he assumed that I was one of the few native speakers of English in the library and he probably figured I could help him on his English papers.

I could help him if I were all warm and cuddly and didn't have my own damned stuff to do (such as writing this).

But I have offered him assistance but only after 4 PM when the library has closed. He's receptive to the idea but has never been around at 4. Which is fine by me. I have other things to do.

So he regularly sits next to me and struggles over his compositions and several times while he's sitting next to me some sort of high pitched beeping alarm has gone off. The alarm seems to come from his person but as he always ignores it I have never been sure. It'll go off several times while he's sitting there yet he never acknowledges the sound.

But just now he sat down and the beeping began again and as usual he ignored it. So I asked him "Why are you always beeping?"

"Oh, sorry!" he smiled. And then he pressed a button on his watch which turned off the beeping. So not only was he responsible for the beeping he could easily turn it off but always chose not to.

What the hell is that about?

On 2009-08-03 12:39, woofmutt wrote:
For a couple weeks now this guy has been coming into the library and sitting at the computer next to me.
He might have decided to sit next to me because of my warm personality and vague cuddly resemblance to Santa Claus. But I think it's more likely that he assumed that I was one of the few native speakers of English in the library and he probably figured I could help him on his English papers.
I could help him if I were all warm and cuddly and didn't have my own damned stuff to do (such as writing this).

But I have offered him assistance but only after 4 PM when the library has closed. He's receptive to the idea but has never been around at 4. Which is fine by me. I have other things to do.
So he regularly sits next to me and struggles over his compositions and several times while he's sitting next to me some sort of high pitched beeping alarm has gone off. The alarm seems to come from his person but as he always ignores it I have never been sure. It'll go off several times while he's sitting there yet he never acknowledges the sound.
But just now he sat down and the beeping began again and as usual he ignored it. So I asked him "Why are you always beeping?"
"Oh, sorry!" he smiled. And then he pressed a button on his watch which turned off the beeping. So not only was he responsible for the beeping he could easily turn it off but always chose not to.
What the hell is that about?

Thanks for the brain-teaser,Woofy!
What the hell is THAT all about...
hmmmm..
it could be a few things,but i'm just going to provide the most likely answer....
When individuals from non-English backgrounds migrate to the USA
they are given,not only access to resources that most Americans utilize,
but they are also assigned a WOOFMUTT DETECTOR DECODER WATCH...
This nifty gadget fits on most wrists and lets out a BEEP if that individual has had
a dangerous exposure of WM 909
(that's Dr. lingo for a condition more commonly known as Woofmutt Proximity Disease)
the fact that he remained close-by even after it started beeping
and even after he turned it off
labels this gentleman as careless and not very intelligent...
The fact that you resembles Santa Claus
could lend to the argument that you were attempting to lure AND poison individuals with exposure...
Words of Advice- Avoid wearing red felt/ermine/and a cap to the library..
and that,dear Woofy,is what the hell THAT is all about...
:)

So what is the difference between a sack and a bag? I mean for baseball or soccer, I keep my balls in a bag, when I go to the store for nuts, I have them in a sack. When you get the stuff you smoke do you get a bag or a sack? Or are they just part of a package...?

On 2009-08-10 19:03, KuKu opined:
So what is the difference between a sack and a bag? I mean for baseball or soccer, I keep my balls in a bag, when I go to the store for nuts, I have them in a sack. When you get the stuff you smoke do you get a bag or a sack? Or are they just part of a package...?

Hello Dear Kuku!
So Nice of you to pop in!
The difference between a sack and a bag is mostly size....
Grocery Bag/Soccer bag/Bowling ball Bag

Whereas a sack is small for small items
sack of nuts/sack of beans
put your sorrys in a sack....

Now,here is where the confusion happens...
the overlappers..
the MidWest factor...
You see,my dear friend
in the MidWest they CAN divide by zero
and they actually call bags "sacks" and vice-versa..
Like a grocery sack...
tater sack
strangest thing,that MidWest..
They even put crackers in a barrell!
How insane is that!?.

As for your second query
Bags and Sacks and even packages do not come into play.
that answer involves handfuls and pocketfuls..
Thank you for your questions....

Next!

Dearest LLT,
I have a recipe here for Chicken Milk Bombe. But I can't find chicken milk in any store! I'm afraid I'll have to somehow acquire fresh chicken milk in order to make this delightful concoction. So how do you milk a chicken?
Kindest regards,
Kiki v.

On 2009-08-18 14:30, Kiki von Tiki a'pondered:
Dearest LLT,
I have a recipe here for Chicken Milk Bombe. But I can't find chicken milk in any store! I'm afraid I'll have to somehow acquire fresh chicken milk in order to make this delightful concoction. So how do you milk a chicken?
Kindest regards,
Kiki v.

That one's easy!
You don't milk a chicken!
I certainly wouldn't!
That's what cows are for!

here's a question..
Why doesn't Ken get any SERIOUS questions!?!?!?!?!?
:lol:

Chicken Milk bomb,as most of you know.
Is the premiere way to facilitate revenge from a distance
and you only need 3 ingredients!
the "milk" in said Chicken Milk bomb is from a cow
(or goat,if that's available)
Thanks for the question,Kiki!

On 2009-08-19 08:25, little lost tiki wrote:

On 2009-08-18 14:30, Kiki von Tiki a'pondered:
Dearest LLT,
I have a recipe here for Chicken Milk Bombe. But I can't find chicken milk in any store! I'm afraid I'll have to somehow acquire fresh chicken milk in order to make this delightful concoction. So how do you milk a chicken?
Kindest regards,
Kiki v.

That one's easy!
You don't milk a chicken!
I certainly wouldn't!
That's what cows are for!

here's a question..
Why doesn't Ken get any SERIOUS questions!?!?!?!?!?
:lol:

Chicken Milk bomb,as most of you know.
Is the premiere way to facilitate revenge from a distance
and you only need 3 ingredients!
the "milk" in said Chicken Milk bomb is from a cow
(or goat,if that's available)
Thanks for the question,Kiki!

will soy milk work, for those of us that are dairy free

no!
the level of fermentation involved to activate it
needs organic material to break down
cow-ish organic material..
Get RGBH free milk
the hormones and mad Cow disease inhibit the explosive power to the Chicken Milk Bomb....

Is there a vegetarian substitute for the chicken milk bomb?

no....

Is there a all-meat substitute for the chicken milk bomb

On 2009-08-19 08:25, little lost tiki wrote:

here's a question..
Why doesn't Ken get any SERIOUS questions!?!?!?!?!?
:lol:

GROG said that it would cause you great mental anguish and irreparable brain damage.

I know. I thought the same thing. What's wrong with that? People pay good money to get that stupid, but I figured if I was gonna get GROG to complete my set of bar stools, I should probably play along. Here's the first one.

Just five more to go.

I make the stool. GROG just has to sit down on them.

On 2009-08-19 08:25, little lost tiki wrote:
Chicken Milk bomb,as most of you know.
Is the premiere way to facilitate revenge from a distance
and you only need 3 ingredients!
the "milk" in said Chicken Milk bomb is from a cow
(or goat,if that's available)
Thanks for the question,Kiki!

NOW you tell me! Do you realize how many roosters it takes to get two cups of chicken milk? Naturally, you can't milk the hens since chickens ain't mammals. You also have to put up with roosters following you around all over the place for weeks. 8)

[ Edited by: The Gnomon 2009-08-20 10:12 ]

LLT,
I sat down and created a few stools this morning. What's the best way to ship them to Grog?

~Hoolie
p.s. a fast reply would be appreciated as I expect to stay on my artistic schedule with production.

Dear Kinny,
Do you have a cure for the common, or uncommon, cold? I have many events to attend this weekend, and can't get sidelined.
Yours truly,
-Sniffling in San Francisco

sigh...
what a lame bunch of questions..
amateurs....

On 2009-08-19 10:31, Rob Roy asked:
Is there a all-meat substitute for the chicken milk bomb?

No Sir!
the Tofu/Soy bomb dosen't break down as fast
and may remain inactive for MONTHS
whereas the Chicken milk Bomb only tales about a week to activate....

Here's a question for you all..
Do any of you KNOW what a chicken milk bomb is? or does?
If not,then are y'all just trying to be funny?
amateurs..

On 2009-08-19 10:39, The Gnomon pondered:

here's a question..
Why doesn't Ken get any SERIOUS questions!?!?!?!?!?
:lol:

GROG said that it would cause you great mental anguish and irreparable brain damage.

I know. I thought the same thing. What's wrong with that? People pay good money to get that stupid, but I figured if I was gonna get GROG to complete my set of bar stools, I should probably play along. Here's the first one.

Just five more to go.
I make the stool. GROG just has to sit down on them.

Dearest Gnomon,
it's obvious this is a HOAX question
because of one simple fact....
GROG was castrated after Spring Break 30000000 BC
after all the tribe's children were born bald and half-witted...
Callin Shenanigans on the Bogus question.....

On 2009-08-19 08:25, little lost tiki wrote:
Chicken Milk bomb,as most of you know.
Is the premiere way to facilitate revenge from a distance
and you only need 3 ingredients!
the "milk" in said Chicken Milk bomb is from a cow
(or goat,if that's available)
Thanks for the question,Kiki!

NOW you tell me! Do you realize how many roosters it takes to get two cups of chicken milk? Naturally, you can't milk the hens since chickens ain't mammals. You also have to put up with roosters following you around all over the place for weeks. 8)

As for the second query....
obviously,sir, you know nothing of the chicken milk bomb
if you did,your questions would ring more intelligently...

Question for y'alls....
Why hasn't some Einstein asked what a chicken milk bomb is,yet?
Slow to the pickup,these kids....

On 2009-08-21 12:28, hoolie wondered:
LLT,
I sat down and created a few stools this morning. What's the best way to ship them to Grog?
~Hoolie
p.s. a fast reply would be appreciated as I expect to stay on my artistic schedule with production.

Dear hoolie,
stools would constitiute a biohazard and may fall unde the jurisdiction of the Homeland Security Act..
FEDEX next day,but i DO NOT condone it....

On 2009-08-21 14:48, Mai Tai pleaded:
Dear Kinny,
Do you have a cure for the common, or uncommon, cold? I have many events to attend this weekend, and can't get sidelined.
Yours truly,
-Sniffling in San Francisco

Bill!-sorry, i don't.....ask Lester!

[ Edited by: little lost tiki 2009-08-24 08:04 ]

DEAR CHRIST ARE WE STILL RAPING THE HELL OUT OF THAT CHICKEN MILK BOMB JOKE????

It's like diarrhea of the mouth 'round here - how about some other haha funnies, eh?

:lol:

especially since nobody really knows what a chicken milk bomb is!
ridiculous!

Well, I sure DO know what a chicken milk bomb is, cause you told me last weekend! But I figgured that was not my question so I didn't ask it!
If you want to explain it to the boys and girls, please do! :) I was on a post-Oasis hilarity high, and didn't want to let those good times go. SIGH! I'm clearly an amateur at this funny business. I'm moving on with new terrible jokes, just for you, Ravers! :lol: Bigger and worser!

I actually do have a real question for ya Ken, but it involves show and tell, and that's better done in person. So mebbe I'll come by and see ya one of these evenings, my catfish friend.

Moving on!

Do you know the best way to attach a plastic artifact (old- say, late 60's) to a piece of fabric? Should I stitch it in place? Glue it down? See that is the next thing on my plate, but wasn't sure if you would have the answer to that question. Needs more info. Needs testing. Needs to go and get stuff done. Bye!

Dear Kenny,
Do you think we'll ever see CaliTikifronia legalize marijuana?

On 2009-08-24 11:09, Kiki von Tiki bemused:
Well, I sure DO know what a chicken milk bomb is, cause you told me last weekend! But I figgured that was not my question so I didn't ask it!
If you want to explain it to the boys and girls, please do! :)

Do you know the best way to attach a plastic artifact (old- say, late 60's) to a piece of fabric? Should I stitch it in place? Glue it down? See that is the next thing on my plate, but wasn't sure if you would have the answer to that question. Needs more info. Needs testing. Needs to go and get stuff done. Bye!

Dearest Kiki,
Chicken Milk Bomb ingredients..
(for informational purposes only!)
a big glass jar(not too thick)
a whole chicken
milk
Stuff Chicken into jar
Pour milk in there (whole milk-none of that watered down stuff)
Seal TIGHTLY
hide under a porch
in the bushes
in the trunk of a car
and leave..
That's it!
You're finished!
the organic material will break down and decompose
creating a gas that will eventually crack
(not explode...just cracks)
and release the stinkiest nastiest smell you have ever smelt...
tada....

the best way to attach a plastic object/artifact to fabric would be to sew it down
Hot glue guns and superglue....eh!
But stitching it there will assure it remains secure...
Thanks for the question sissy!

On 2009-08-24 11:32, Unga Bunga mused:
Dear Kenny,
Hey Dude!Like,Do you think we'll ever see CaliTikifronia legalize marijuana,man?

GOOD QUESTION Mr. Bunga...
I will have to answer carefully
as political discussion is frowned upon in this community.
I will be happy to discuss it in further depth in person sometime in the future..
For unnamed reasons,our beautiful state is in the midst of its worst budget crisis ever
This may result in a general lowering of our standards of living
and community/state/and federal services..
To alleviate this problem
Taxes are raised
Services are cut
except the police
who are needed to protect businesses and institutions
in case the populace decides to organize..
In order not to reach this boiling point
Extra Revenue is always welcome...

This culture is already accustomed to buying resources
(water-for one) from the same system that pollutes it
So why not make some money (ie: tax revenue) from the stoners?
Why are they making money off of the Earth's bounty?
Shouldn't Mother Earth be getting royalties?

Basically, there are so many laws
that everyone is a lawbreaker of some sort.
To be able to fine and penalize a society in such a way
is pure genius...
Back to the subject at hand....

Because marijuana laws are pretty lenient anyway in this state...compared to others.
Decriminalizing it could bring in a LOT more tax revenue for the state
from the already burdened taxpayer.
It could help destabilize both Mexican and American drug cartels
(not destroy them-destabilize them)
allow for addition of carcinogens/pathogens into the product
and give the CIA a valid business to run...
(that was a joke folks)

So, to answer your question Unga,
i don't know
maybe yes
maybe no
i just hope they cut it with Government cheese!
thank you for your question...

On 2009-08-25 08:24, little lost tiki wrote:

i just hope they cut it with Government cheese!
thank you for your question...

Dear LLT;

Do we REALLY want the government to cut the cheese?

On 2009-08-25 08:42, Jason Wickedly asked poignantly:
Dear LLT;
Do we REALLY want the government to cut the cheese?

Well Jason....
judging from the controlled dissent we all practice
(ie: protest areas/ non-representation on major issues/lobbyists/etc)
I would have to say
YES!
their ability to quench protest and rebellion
has been mastered
and we have meekly accepted it....
We may not WANT them to cut it
but on some days,it just stinks...
Thanks for the question!

On 2009-08-24 11:32, Unga Bunga mused:
Dear Kenny,
Hey Dude!Like,Do you think we'll ever see CaliTikifronia legalize marijuana,man?

No Shirt
No Shoes
No Vice!
:)

My pappy used to tell me that blacksmiths who pounded cold steel and farmers who planted late crops all went to Hell about the same time. Is there any truth to that or was it just a religious scare tactic to get me to stop procrastinating? :-?

On 2009-08-26 07:47, little lost tiki wrote:
No Shirt
No Shoes
No Vice!
:)

isn't it?

No shoes
no shirt
no dice

Jeff(btd)

On 2009-08-26 14:34, MadDogMike questioned:
My pappy used to tell me that blacksmiths who pounded cold steel and farmers who planted late crops all went to Hell about the same time. Is there any truth to that or was it just a religious scare tactic to get me to stop procrastinating? :-?

Mike-the truth is...yes and no..
Depends on your faith of choice...
Hell
Hades
Tartarus
the Underworld
Each faith has its different rules
I think your pappy just wanted you to quit being a lazy bum kid
(as all parents desire...)
but i imagine the faith-based system he was utilizing
probably has more to do with faith than deeds..
So he was using scare tactics
but using them wrongly
or to the wrong ends...
At least it stopped your artistic procrastination...
Thanks for stopping by!

On 2009-08-26 20:40, bigtikidude pondered:

On 2009-08-26 07:47, little lost tiki wrote:
No Shirt
No Shoes
No Vice!
:)

isn't it?
No shoes
no shirt
no dice

Jeff(btd)

yes it is Jeff!
I was using this neat little thing called....HUMOR!
using an old quote from FAST TIMES...
i made a sly reference to the Marijuana Legalization subject before that...
Dice=gambling
but VICE=any vice,including smoking of said substance...

Please don't attempt this HUMOR i refer to ,Jeff.
It would conflict with your present personality
and may cause further mental problems...

Thanks for the question! :)

Querido Señor Pequeño Tiki Perdido,

I have a query!

I was wonderin this mornin...

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?

Grassy-ass!

:)

~Ravz

On 2009-08-27 08:52, ravenne bi-lingually asked:
Querido Señor Pequeño Tiki Perdido,
I have a query!
I was wonderin this mornin...
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?
Grassy-ass!
:)
~Ravz

No...
it's what's outside that counts...
One body-no matter the number of personalities...
To explain to a cop about
"multiple personalities"
and "consciousness"
and "insight"
and "the soul"
would make their teeny insecure brains leak out their ears...

One physical body
One tazer
problem solved....

thanks for the question!
:)

Kinny,

I have a sneaking suspicion that Cornish Game hens are actually seagulls, this is why:

No one I know has ever seen a live Cornish Game hen. Sure there are photos on the internet but there are also photos of unicorns and leprechauns.

I don't believe you could identify a seagull without it's head, feet, and feathers.

"Cornish" designates something from the area of Cornwall, England - with poor soil and few natural resources, Cornwall is practically a peninsula - surrounded on 3 sides by rocky coastline. Seagulls are fat & plentiful, can easily be caught using nothing more than a fish head for bait.

We have a custom of taking unwanted and inedible organic matter, renaming it, and selling it at a premium as "gourmet" Cases in point; Squab (flying rats), Calamari (slimy squids, no insult intended Dave), Rocky Mountain Oysters ('nads), Truffles (fungus dug up by pigs), Escargot, Salisbury Steak, etc.

What do you think LLT?

On 2009-08-28 17:25, MadDogMike rambled:
Kinny,
I have a sneaking suspicion that Cornish Game hens are actually seagulls, this is why:
No one I know has ever seen a live Cornish Game hen. Sure there are photos on the internet but there are also photos of unicorns and leprechauns.
I don't believe you could identify a seagull without it's head, feet, and feathers.
"Cornish" designates something from the area of Cornwall, England - with poor soil and few natural resources, Cornwall is practically a peninsula - surrounded on 3 sides by rocky coastline. Seagulls are fat & plentiful, can easily be caught using nothing more than a fish head for bait.
We have a custom of taking unwanted and inedible organic matter, renaming it, and selling it at a premium as "gourmet" Cases in point; Squab (flying rats), Calamari (slimy squids, no insult intended Dave), Rocky Mountain Oysters ('nads), Truffles (fungus dug up by pigs), Escargot, Salisbury Steak, etc.
What do you think LLT?

First...
i think you got too much brain and not enough "thought".
People do like to "spin" and "brand" their products/wares
because the actual product is not enough...
Check out the book "Adcult" to get a 20-year history of Branding products
thru images and celebrity lifestyles
instead of what it actually is....
there's really nothing EXTREME in Doritos
they're just corn chips with flavoring in a bright bag...
the only thing EXTREME is what these flavors on steroids
are doing to your insides...
Back to the question....
After intensive all-night research..
i have discovered that
Cornish Game hens served in American restaurants
are actually pigeons
or as we call them... "street chickens"
Seagulls have a gamey fishey taste
not unlike their favorite food
whereas pigeons eat practically anything
and provide a more robust flavor....
that's what i think,Mike!

Thank you Kinny! So good to have you back to help us with life's pressing problems (hope you had a great trip :) )

Dear LLT,
Why is Woofmutt so dern cranky and cantankerous?
Signed,
A Concerned Citizen

On 2009-09-10 12:58, Kiki von Tiki wondered:
Dear LLT,
Why is Woofmutt so dern cranky and cantankerous?
Signed,
A Concerned Citizen

Because he's a MAN,baby!
:)

GROG can't find GROG checkbook. Where should GROG look?

On 2009-09-10 13:22, GROG slowly pondered:
GROG can't find GROG checkbook. Where should GROG look?

GROG...Happy birthday!
Your checkbook should be in the last place you left it before losing it...
"Check" there! :lol:

if not....check the back pocket of your loincloth
or in between the buttcracks
or under your sleeping mammoth...

Good Luck!

and when you find those checks
could you just sign one and send it on over?
Thanks!
:)

While pruning a wisteria over the weekend a fly was continually buzzing around my ear. Why did he do that?

On 2009-09-22 12:38, LOL Tiki wondered:
While pruning a wisteria over the weekend a fly was continually buzzing around my ear. Why did he do that?

Great question LOL!
Thanks for entrusting me with the solution....
there are a number of possible answers to that...

1. He liked your smell-refrain from eating red vines 18 hours before pruning...
2. he likes wisterias
3. he lives there and was protecting the wife and kids
   (don't worry,tho! Their lifespan is 15 to 30 days...)
4. He DOES NOT like you
   5)It's not a fly at all...but an insect robot surveillance ('micro air vehicles' (MAVs))machine utilizing Biomimetics...

Biomimetics is a term used for those engineering systems that make use of traits observed in biology.
It may be a relatively new term, but the practice of borrowing from nature is old as dirt....
Entomologists have often marvelled at and puzzled over the difficult tasks that insects can perform, despite the apparent absence of a great deal of brainpower. We all know how successful they are: there are probably more than four million species of insect on the planet compared to about 4500 species of mammal. Perhaps by learning about and then mimicking the attributes of insects, which have been honed by millions of years of evolution, we can fast-track the development of robots – so that they can do what we want them to do without needing brains the size of a planet.

Insects have some practical advantages, too. They are plentiful and easy to maintain in laboratories and they have an exoskeleton (a hard outer covering) rather than an internal skeleton like humans, making the study of the way they move relatively easy. They are also immensely diverse, offering a wide variety of strategies for things like locomotion, navigation and vision. And recent advances in miniaturisation – the development of technologies in increasingly small sizes – make the construction of insect-sized robots possible.
Robotics engineers are now hard at work designing machines that mimic, as much as possible, the biomechanics of the cockroach. The idea is that with a properly designed system there will be much less need for computational ability – no longer should robots have to spend time calculating how to take their next step to ensure they don't fall over; it should be instinctive. Scientists at Stanford University in the United States have created what they call the iSprawl robot, which adapts some of the principles of cockroach locomotion. One version of iSprawl is about 11 centimetres long and can move at about 15 body-lengths per second.
Another difficult problem for robots is navigation. How can they find their way somewhere and then back again without spending all their time (and computer power) thinking about it? Again, insects might have the answer. A bee, for example, astounds scientists by wandering in an apparently aimless way to a nectar source and then returning to the hive sometimes several kilometres away – all with a brain that contains fewer than a million neurons. A supercomputer (and even a human) might struggle to accomplish such a task.

Australian scientists are among those who have conducted detailed studies of bee navigation. They found that bees use several strategies for navigating their flower-strewn way. For example, they use the sun as a compass to determine flight direction, even if it's behind a cloud, and they can allow for the tracking of the sun across the sky using an internal 'clock'. Bees can also store simple information about the places they've been and recall this on their return flight, making connections between landmarks and their location with respect to the hive. And they use something called optic flow to judge their flight distance and to negotiate confined spaces.

These strategies are of immense interest to robotics engineers. Adapting them for use by robots could cut down significantly on expensive, power-consuming equipment such as geographic information systems and satellite navigation systems, which might not always be available.

We all know that insects are brilliant aviators: it's probably no coincidence that one insect, the fly, is so named for its extraordinary ability in the air. But an engineer once calculated, infamously, that an insect (in this case, a bumblebee) couldn't fly, at least not by the steady-state principles of aeronautics that he applied. An aeroplane with proportionally the same weight and wing size would certainly never get off the ground. The solution to the puzzle of insect flight had to wait for technological advances – such as high-resolution, fast-frame photography – that enabled the detailed study of an insect's tiny wings and their rapid movement through the air.

It turns out that insects use a combination of three aerodynamic techniques to fly and to perform their astounding aerobatics. One is called delayed stall. Insect wings flap at a very steep angle, which would lead to the stalling of flight, except that in flapping like this the wing generates what is called a leading edge vortex. This in turn produces an area of low pressure on the top surface of the wing, thereby pulling it upwards. A second technique is called rotational circulation. The insect rotates its wings at the end of each stroke, inducing an area of low pressure to generate additional lift. The third technique is to extract energy from the wake of the previous wing stroke.

These insights into insect flight could be used in robotics in a couple of different ways. They could help in the design of small, flighted robots that could perform useful tasks in circumstances where a large payload was not necessary: search-and-rescue, for example. And they could be used in the exploration of other planets, where a thicker atmosphere would enable larger robots to use the same flight strategies. The US Department of Defense, which is investing in the development of these small flying robots, has dubbed them 'micro air vehicles' (MAVs). It sees uses for them in surveillance and reconnaissance. Indeed, a large part of the funding for this kind of work comes from defence organisations, so it's likely that many of the initial applications will be military in nature – civilian applications may come later.

The adaptation of insect survival strategies to robotics is still in its early stages, and there are few functioning examples. Nevertheless, the possibilities are almost unlimited. The processes of evolution have been honing nature's gifts for millions of insect species for millennia, and it would indeed be surprising if we could learn nothing from them. Many of the solutions to complex problems that nature has come up with are magnificent in their simplicity, yet adapting even these to our purposes will not be easy. It will require a great deal of brainpower – from the robotics scientists that are setting out to do so. It seems likely, though, that robotic superheroes really will cruise the planet some day, even if sometimes we hardly know they're there...

Your best bet is to capture AND examine said fly....
he may not be what you think he is!
:)

Thanks for the question,Ro!

I really hope you copied and pasted all that Ken..if not, then, well you are insane. Oh wait, should that have been in the form of a question? :D

yes!
:)

what is this "copy and paste" you refer to?

On 2009-09-22 20:40, Jason Wickedly wrote:
I really hope you copied and pasted all that Ken..if not, then, well you are insane. Oh wait, should that have been in the form of a question? :D

I don't think we should rush to judgment on this Jason. This is possibly the most thought out rant on the whole damn post.

Do NOT mistake Scientific realities with Rants
That can lead you down a dangerous road of mental manipulation and denial...
I gots some brains
but not the "scientific eloquence" of that article..
My apology to fellow researchers-in-arms if i appeared all high falootin smartypants and such!

FEED ME!

http://www.kenruzic.com http://www.myspace.com/kenruzicdotcom
http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=19904&forum=18&start=0

[ Edited by: little lost tiki 2009-09-22 21:25 ]

On 2009-09-22 21:24, little lost tiki wrote:
Do NOT mistake Scientific realities with Rants
That can lead you down a dangerous road of mental manipulation and denial...
I gots some brains

FEED ME!

http://www.kenruzic.com http://www.myspace.com/kenruzicdotcom
http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=19904&forum=18&start=0

[ Edited by: little lost tiki 2009-09-22 21:25 ]

And that's why I love you Kinny...not for your looks but your brains :lol:

On 2009-09-22 12:38, LOL Tiki wrote:
While pruning a wisteria over the weekend a fly was continually buzzing around my ear. Why did he do that?

Kinny, to me, you didn't really answer the question. I think the point was, why was the fly buzzing continually AROUND HIS EAR?

Could you try again, please?