Ask Little Lost Tiki Absolutely Anything

Dear little lost tiki,
is there a specific reason
why you truly believe
the human race
is fully deserving
of it's imminent destruction?
lux,
llt

"Dear little lost tiki,
is there a specific reason
why you truly believe
the human race
is fully deserving
of it's imminent destruction?" -Little Lost Tiki-

Dear Liloti,

How many time, times, and half a times do I have to remind you that not even with the slightest breath are we to let be known to Man the movements of the Heavens nor how close to his end he walks?

Woofmutt

odd, that I asked a true question,
and he didn't answer.

oh well.
Jeff(btd)

some of us have regular dayjobs,Jeffery
i will answer the questions at my leisure...
patience IS a virtue.....

Don't make me send you back to Crenshaw Pete with his red hot coat hangers!

If you are indeed "lost" then when if ever will you be "found"?

On 2010-03-16 05:27, Chip and Andy wrote:
Dear little lost tiki,
Woofmutt and I were recently conducting a conversation (via PM's if it makes a difference) about Nonsense and the conversation actually made sense.
Aside from the obvious oxymoron (me), how can something so silly(woofmutt) suddenly be so serious(someone not involved in the conversation).

Hey Chip-n-Andy!
as to the woofmutt...
it is because he is a smart cookie
and a single man
hence he gets a lotta thinkin done
and actually has a degree in BOTH silliness AND seriousness
But mostly.... it's his delivery.....

And if I may be so bold as to ask two questions today.... why does the serious break down into silly so easily with only the slightest bit of analysis.

But of course! You kids are always a source of joy and brainteasins on here!
and i thank you for your participation.....

the answer is...
Because one cannot live with the other....
They are so close they are almost the same....
A serious incident can trip on an atom
and the greater truth of our humble states is revealed
and shows us how silly it all is.....
In silliness,the humor lies within the TRUTH contained in it
about ourselves
and others...
and sometimes the giggle of a child
or a freaky outburst expresses that on a baser level
than we civilized folk are accustomed to....

silence....aaaaaaaand CUT!

On 2010-03-16 10:05, HOG wrote:
Why does Woofmutt call you "Lolita"?
Wouldn't "Diva" be the more appropriate term?

He doesn't...
Perhaps you should read this post... it may answer a few nagging questions...

On 2010-03-16 16:24, woofmutt wrote:
Dear Liloti,
Is it true that if you do "that" you'll go blind?
Woofmutt
EDIT: Hey, no need to answer my question, I just saw GROG's question up above and figured out the answer must be YES.

He uses the term "Liloti" Taking the first 2 letters of little lost tiki
an amusing lazy way of writing the full name
i think he was hoping it would catch on....

and yes...Diva would be more appropriate

On 2010-03-16 10:45, Unga Bunga wrote:
Deer Keenee,
Howe long weel it taak fore Grog 2 spel chek mie poste?

Eye Tank U!

5 hours and 46 minutes....exactly!
your post 2 days ago; 10:45 am
his post same day 4:31 pm

next time hire an accountant..
i got better things to do than answer math questions....
:)

On 2010-03-16 20:59, bigtikidude wrote a weird question run-on sentence:

when I tell people that I will be carpooling with Doug Horne and you to the Kon Tiki event, and they have the look of a deer in the headlights, then gasp, then laugh hysterically.

First... let's rephrase this into something workable...

When I tell people that I will be carpooling to the Kon Tiki event with Doug Horne and you ,they have a deer in the headlights look (maybe just try "surprised look"),gasp,and then laugh hysterically.Is that rude of them?

Much better....
Because i've been telling them of my plan to bury you alive in the desert..
I always end the story with "Shhhh! It's a secret," in the hopes that someone will warn you
and i will have succeeded in rooting out a mole in the group....
obviously,those 200 people I've told
must have agreed with my plan of kung-fu treachery
and were laughing hysterically because YOU were not privy to that information...
So...yes... it was rude of those
200 people not to inform you of this
twisted plot of KungFu treachery....

and How should I react?
thanks
Jeff(btd)

just go with it...
:)

in truth
i think the reason they laugh
is because
we are BOTH
arrogant fat old losers
who think they got talent....
Who nobody really likes
but merely humors them...
Who think they're much too big for their britches...
And think they're all that...

They just like me more cause I'm the better looking and smarter of us two...
no offense intended...
These folks are secretly hoping that an automobile accident
will take us both out
along with that fearsome giant Doug Horne!
and THAT is why they laugh,my record playing Sasquatch...
that is why...

Looking forward to our roadtrip in a few weeks....

On 2010-03-17 04:18, pablus pondered:
Dear Little Lost Tiki,
Where is this "kine" I've been hearing about?

pablus....dear old friend.....
look within.
the "kine" is inside
not outside....
:)

On 2010-03-17 09:21, woofmutt wrote:

"Dear little lost tiki,
is there a specific reason
why you truly believe
the human race
is fully deserving
of it's imminent destruction?" -Little Lost Tiki-

Dear Liloti,

How many time, times, and half a times do I have to remind you that not even with the slightest breath are we to let be known to Man the movements of the Heavens nor how close to his end he walks?
Woofmutt

sorry woofy.
won't let it happen again....

On 2010-03-17 13:21, rugbymatt grumbled:
If you are indeed "lost" then when if ever will you be "found"?

it's not the destination
it's the journey
dear Matt...

and don't think i forgot that time
when you flashed your junk at Oasis a few years back!
Visually
all i remember
is a sarong pulled aside and a cocktail weenie resting on a bird's nest!
truly horrifying...
i would advise you to refrain from that kind of behavior in the future...
Don't make me call Crenshaw Pete with his red-hot coat-hangers!
:)

Thank you all for your inquiries and observations...

On 2010-03-18 08:36, little lost tiki wrote:
dear Matt...

and don't think i forgot that time
when you flashed your junk at Oasis a few years back!
Visually
all i remember
is a sarong pulled aside and a cocktail weenie resting on a bird's nest!
truly horrifying...
i would advise you to refrain from that kind of behavior in the future...
Don't make me call Crenshaw Pete with his red-hot coat-hangers!
:)

Kine, I am indeed touched that you remembered. Did Ben?

he got half the glance i did!
he walked a bit forward
said HELLS NAW!
and walked away shaking his head....
at least that's how i remember it...
amazing....
:lol:

Dear little lost tiki,

I am sorry if this was answered already but I am still trying to find out exactly how much wood the woodchuck chucked. Any help?

OOH OOH

I have one I've been wondering for quite sometime which definitely needs the wisdom of LLT:

How do you throw away a garbage can?

On 2010-03-23 08:43, croe67 wrote:
OOH OOH

I have one I've been wondering for quite sometime which definitely needs the wisdom of LLT:

How do you throw away a garbage can?

this is quite a conumdrum. my pickeruppers of trash won't take the old can..

On 2010-03-23 08:33, Chip and Andy asked:
Dear little lost tiki,

I am sorry if this was answered already but I am still trying to find out exactly how much wood the woodchuck chucked. Any help?

Dear Chip-n-Andy,
you are correct!
That question was answered on page 16.5
please refer to it there...
(There may be a divide by zero glitch lurking about
so please be patient while it's uploading...)

On 2010-03-23 08:43, cute lil croe67 pondered excitedly:
OOH OOH
MR. KOTTER! MR. KOTTER!
I have one I've been wondering for quite sometime which definitely needs the wisdom of LLT:
How do you throw away a garbage can?

This one is a toughie....
and there are a few things you can TRY
and they MAY work
but no guarantees...

But rest assured!
Our agents are ON THE CASE
thinking up even better solutions!

this should work for you as well,talo!

1)Disguise the garbage can. Find a huge plastic bag and put the garbage can inside, or put big bags together so it looks like garbage.Or tape a moustache and beard to it..They'll never suspect!

2)Put a sign on the empty garbage can for the sanitation crew that says "please throw away the garbage can." This can take numerous attempts-and still doesn't always work,but be patient!The crews move quickly through the route and can't always read. Stranger things have happened,so chin up!

3)Contact your local sanitation department and explain the problem. There may be a way to throw away a garbage can that works the first or second or third time they are privy to.....

4)Call a junk disposal service. This is a bit extreme since you end up paying for someone to take away your garbage can, but the frustration from failed attempts at other methods makes it easier to shell out cash to get rid of the problem! Isn't that the American Way?

5)Decide you don't need to throw away the garbage can. Wash it out with a high-powered hose and lots of soap put it into the back yard for storing outdoor toys,birdseed,gummi bears,mulch,a one-man jacuzzi...
Use your imagination! :)

6. Cut out the bottom and use the rest to house the torso of your
   giant lazer death robot...it's durable plastic coating
   will protect the components from water....

and finally....

7)Clean the garbage can.
Place it in front of your house on garbage day,
away from the other garbage
with a big poster that says "Free! Take Me Away!!!"
Amazingly enough,someone with severe mental problems
just may put an end to your duress
and take the can home...

Hope that helps,kids!
and thanks for visiting!

On 2010-03-24 08:29, little lost tiki wrote:
...

2)Put a sign on the empty garbage can for the sanitation crew that says "please throw away the garbage can."
...

Additionally, you can make a bunch of signs like that and put them on neighbor's garbage cans. They'll be very amused!

hey... problem solved. i put it in my neighbors yard. nobody would recognize me in my red clown nose either.

Thanks Helpers!
GROG PMed me and suggested
that the best way to
get rid of an old plastic trashcan is to
"Place a Young schoolkid or Prostitute inside the container.
Drive it to the desert
and Bury it."

i think the Kingstiedye Tonga Hut Parking lot Sale
would be a great time for an intervention....

No , no. GROG said put Ruzic in the trashcan and bury it. If Ruzic think of himsself as a young schoolkid prostitute, maybe Ruzic need intervention.

On 2010-03-25 11:15, GROG wrote:
If Ruzic think of himsself as a young schoolkid prostitute, maybe Ruzic need intervention.

you mean he isn't???
;-/

Jeff(btd)

NOTE TO SELF....
DIG TWO HOLES IN THE DESERT...

1 for each of us?

Yeah...
One for your body
and one for your Big Blabbery mouth!
Might need a third for your belly!
:)

Dear Little Limp Tiki,

How did you overcome your erectile dysfunction, or are you still struggling with it?

GROG
Get better soon Tiki-Kate.

[ Edited by: GROG 2010-04-21 14:40 ]

Dear Little Limp Tiki,

How did you overcome your erectile dysfunction, or are you still struggling with it?*

GROG

Wow, them dang spammers keeps getting more and more clever.

Dear little lost tiki,

I can get one of something for $80.

Or I can split it between two people with an upcharge for the split.

The total cost for the split after the upcharge is $180.

Apparently I failed at this New Math stuff and need your help. Wouldn't it be simpler to just buy two something?

On 2010-04-21 14:39, GROG blubbered and drooled out this question:
Dear Little Limp Tiki,
How did you overcome your erectile dysfunction, or are you still struggling with it?

Overcame it just fine with hypnosis and electro-shock therapy...
the doctor said you should also continue your treatments....
As for performance...
Your grandma says
and i quote
"Everything's just dandy!"

On 2010-04-21 18:28, Chip and Andy asked:
Dear little lost tiki,
I can get one of something for $80.
Or I can split it between two people with an upcharge for the split.
The total cost for the split after the upcharge is $180.
Apparently I failed at this New Math stuff and need your help. Wouldn't it be simpler to just buy two something?

go with 2 $80 things
and take no upcharges
i think....
huh?

Hi.

Can you explain how this thread got to 25 pages, please?
Why do so many people need guidance on the most trivial of questions?

:wink:

KvT

see the above post!

Hey talo!
go answer your own post's questions!

now....where were we....?

On 2010-05-01 16:20, Kiki von Tiki quizically asked:
Hi.
Can you explain how this thread got to 25 pages, please?
Why do so many people need guidance on the most trivial of questions?
:wink:
KvT

Good question
and one i often ask myself....
it could be for a couple of reasons...
1)curiosity-they may REALLY have a question that needs to be answered
2) they may be trying to play "stump the answerer"
3) they may want to look clever or cool or funny
4)boredom....

Those 4 motivators can easily fill up 25 pages......

as to why do so many people need guidance on the most trivial of questions?

i think that's because a LARGE majority of them
have
mental problems
low IQs
or both...
:)
Thanks Kiki!
Great seeing you a the GaRAGE Sale!

When and where is your retrospective show going to be?

On 2010-05-03 10:20, little lost tiki wrote:
Hey talo!
go answer your own post's questions!

now....where were we....?

i think that's because a LARGE majority of them
have
mental problems
low IQs
or both...
:)
Thanks Kiki!
Great seeing you a the GaRAGE Sale!

yikes, yes sir i couldn't help myself due to the last part.

[ Edited by: talo ka 2010-05-03 14:27 ]

Which works better, hemorrhoidal ointment, or hemorrhoidal cream?

On 2010-05-03 10:20, little lost tiki got crabby and said:
Hey talo!
go answer your own post's questions!
now....where were we....?
i think that's because a LARGE majority of them
have
mental problems
low IQs
or both...
:)
Thanks Kiki!
Great seeing you a the GaRAGE Sale!

On 2010-05-03 14:27, talo ka exclaimed:

yikes, yes sir i couldn't help myself due to the last part.

No problem talo!
i just get a little possessive with this thread sometimes...
it IS 25 pages,y'know!
:)

25 pages indeed and just the beginning because there are lots of inane questions that need to be waxed poeticlly on by you.

Dear little lost tiki,

I am trying to apply Schrodinger's Collapsing Wave Probablity Formula (following the multi-verse theory) to my carving technique in the hopes that quantum theory will lead me to removing just enough wood to reveal the fully formed tiki that lies within. When you have a spare moment can you double check my math?

On 2010-05-04 04:36, Chip and Andy wrote:
Dear little lost tiki,

I am trying to apply Schrodinger's Collapsing Wave Probablity Formula (following the multi-verse theory) to my carving technique in the hopes that quantum theory will lead me to removing just enough wood to reveal the fully formed tiki that lies within. When you have a spare moment can you double check my math?

owwww head hertz.

sorry talo!
just skip this answer and be patient....
GROG or some other wiseacre will chime in
with a more digestible question
that you "normals" can all handle....
:)

On 2010-05-04 04:36, Chip and Andy soberly asked during a drinking binge:
Dear little lost tiki,

I am trying to apply Schrodinger's Collapsing Wave Probability Formula (following the multi-verse theory) to my carving technique in the hopes that quantum theory will lead me to removing just enough wood to reveal the fully formed tiki that lies within. When you have a spare moment can you double check my math?

Ah! A Quantum Physics question!
There is the observation that some physical quantities—such as the energy of an electron—can be changed only by SET amounts(quanta)rather than being capable of varying by any amount,this may be a problem if you need varying depths and deep cuts in your tiki.... The wave–particle duality of energy and matter at the atomic scale provides a unified view of the behavior of particles such as photons and electrons. Photons are the quanta of light, and have energy values proportional to their frequency via the Planck constant,which means that it MAY be a challenge and it MAY take some Time,but time is relative,so it may be possible that your tiki is already finished..... In my experiments i try a Ku and get a BOB,tho! An electron bound in an atomic orbital has quantized values of angular momentum and energy,which could also help with the final touches and sanding. The unbound electron does not exhibit quantized energy levels, but is associated with a quantum mechanical wavelength, as are all massive particles,in case you didn't know,and may alter the MATERIAL of your tiki.... Wood is good,but often can end up as taffy or bologna hats in rare instances..... The full significance of the Planck constant is expressed in physics through the abstract mathematical notion of action,ie: carving....

The mathematical formulation of quantum mechanics is abstract and its implications are often non-intuitive,unlike carving,which is base knowledge added to intuition,so there may also be a problem there....... The centerpiece of this mathematical system is the wave-function. The wave-function is a mathematical function of time and space that can provide information about the position and momentum of a particle(kind of like a plotter,but guided by your interaction/movement.... but only as probabilities, as dictated by the constraints imposed by the uncertainty principle,which is a Whoooooole other bag of worms..... Mathematical manipulations of the wave-function usually involve the bra-ket notation, which requires an understanding of complex numbers and linear functionalism,which does not work well for most carvers as they,on average ,have an IQ far below my shoe size! :lol: Many of the results of QM can only be expressed mathematically and do not have tikis that are as easy to visualize as those of classical carvers.
Formula solved.
PM sent....
Thanks kids fer waking up my brain!

On 2010-05-04 08:05, little lost tiki wrote:
Formula solved.
PM sent....
Thanks kids fer waking up my brain!

Thank you. I feel silly for something as simple as forgetting to carry the two over to the next column.

You forgot to answer GROG' questions:

When and where is your retrospective show going to be?

Which works better, hemorrhoidal ointment, or hemorrhoidal cream?

On 2010-05-04 10:54, GROG wrote:
Which works better, hemorrhoidal ointment, or hemorrhoidal cream?

"Depends"

:roll:

On 2010-05-03 17:06, GROG wrote:
Which works better, hemorrhoidal ointment, or hemorrhoidal cream?

i think Unga Bunga just answered your question....
But your Grammy sez "Oinkment" and tincture is the perfect blend...

On 2010-05-03 10:29, GROG asked a question that i answered him at the Bamboo Ben garage Sale just days earlier:
When and where is your retrospective show going to be?

Retrospective?
it's a 20-year celebration
where i will be EXAMIniNG themes and styles from the past 20 years
and re-examining them
throwing new light on them
dusting them off
It will be at the Caged Chameleon gallery in Santa Ana
(this will be their 20 year celebration as well!)
no SOLID date,but one of the Saturdays in November
7-8pm til 11-midnightish
It's right down the street from the Bowers museum
(3 blocks away down Main St.)
AND their PNG show will still be open until December
So everyone can kill 2 birds with 1 stone!

[ Edited by: little lost tiki 2010-05-05 08:16 ]

Damn I can't make it there is a Surf Show that night.

Jeff(btd)

LLT, please make sure you post about it as soon as you get a firm date. Your last show with Squid and Big toe was Fantastic!

YAY!
I'll only have one undesirable attending
instead of two!
:lol:
Jeff was quite bold
in the assumption that he was even invited!
:lol:
it should be fun and most of all INTERESTING...
Especially the gathering of friends and patrons from different periods of my artistic development....
it will also give the folks the opportunity to see the MANY facets of a 20-year journey!
:)

I love the fact that most of what you do is not even "tiki", per se. It has elements of surrealism and reminds me of some of the art by Osorio, for example! I am totally looking forward to this!

Mel and myself will undoobieably be there to support you (and to razz you too, Ruznik!)

No seriously...a twenty year journey on canvas. Wow. Personally, I can only hope to maintain interest in painting for that amount of time.

Sorry, I meant "Ossorio" as in Alfonse Ossorio, the famed abtract-expressionist.

Congrats on the show Llt!

Now, back to the questions... Is there a real good connection between Frank Zappa and Tiki?

hmmmmm.....Zappa & Tiki? Good question!

& while you're at it....Is there a connection between H.R. Pufnstuf & Tiki?