Beyond Tiki, Bilge, and Test / Beyond Tiki
Things I've learned while really drunk:
Pages: 1 44 replies
T
Tiki_Bong
Posted
posted
on
08/16/2003
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A
Alnshely
Posted
posted
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08/16/2003
Here are a few tokens of wisdom that I (Shelley) have picked up along the way....
[ Edited by: Alnshely on 2003-08-15 23:26 ] |
T
TikiPug
Posted
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08/16/2003
Holy Cow Bong....that sounde like one eventful evening. I gotta party with you cowboy. |
BK
Basement Kahuna
Posted
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08/17/2003
"I don't give a fly's fart in a hurricane IF he's a four time Marine Corps Boxing Champion...he's 'disrespectin me" |
L
laney
Posted
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08/17/2003
Don't go on ebay drunk! I'm bad enough sober. |
E
ecm
Posted
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08/17/2003
ahh....e-bay , when i've been drinking..."regrets , i've had a few.." |
A
atomictonytiki
Posted
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08/18/2003
My friend Rarg, went on E-bay drunk and placed bids on twenty diffrent stuffed animals. He was almost the owner of such diverse examples of badly preserved creatures as "eyeless bager","moth-eaten dog" ("he was my grandads but he bit kids so we had him put down"),"zebra foot" and "squirrel/stoat on branch" (the owner couldn't work out what it might have once been). |
R
RevBambooBen
Posted
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08/18/2003
Don't walk (or stumble) near Atomic at any party that has to do with Tiki Farm!!! lol Unless you're into helicoptor rides!!! lol |
R
RevBambooBen
Posted
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08/18/2003
p.s. or play darts/limes with C'Al in Catalina!!! Or, ride on the back of a golf cart after a night in the Marlin Club!!! |
M
MTKahuna
Posted
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08/18/2003
During my drunkin youth ...
Oh the shame... |
K
kctiki
Posted
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08/19/2003
Your Grandma calls an ambulance EVERY TIME you show up drunk? Bless her heart, that's hilarious.
A cop came up the next morning rapping on his window to wake him up. It woke him up just enough to relax his foot a little on the brake and the cop had to jog along beside the car until he finally woke up. Then when they asked him for his registration he got real frustrated because he knew it was in the glove compartment but couldn't find it. He finally realized he was in the police car and was rifling thru the wrong glove compartment. |
PJ
purple jade
Posted
posted
on
08/19/2003
Don't just turn it off, take the keys OUT! |
STCB
Sabu The Coconut Boy
Posted
posted
on
08/19/2003
A few more that I've learned...
Sabu |
M
MTKahuna
Posted
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08/19/2003
Well it's only happened twice. I love my grandma for her contiunuos love and concern... |
UB
Unga Bunga
Posted
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on
08/19/2003
Posting on T.C. and finding out the next morning what a freakin idiot you were, and then re-editing them back to "stability". [ Edited by: Unga Bunga on 2003-08-19 11:43 ] [ Edited by: Unga Bunga on 2003-08-19 11:44 ] [ Edited by: Unga Bunga on 2003-08-19 11:44 ] [ Edited by: Unga Bunga on 2003-08-19 11:44 ] [ Edited by: Unga Bunga on 2003-08-19 11:44 ] [ Edited by: Unga Bunga on 2003-08-19 11:45 ] [ Edited by: Unga Bunga on 2003-08-19 11:45 ] [ Edited by: Unga Bunga on 2003-08-19 11:45 ] [ Edited by: Unga Bunga on 2003-08-19 11:46 ] [ Edited by: Unga Bunga on 2003-08-19 11:48 ] |
TR
Tiki Rider
Posted
posted
on
08/19/2003
When I used to work and came across a passed out driver, I would sometimes have some fun with them. I would turn on the emergency lights and then walk up to the drivers side window. I would then knock on the window and run in place next to the car waving my arms wildly while holding my flashlight and yelling at the driver to stop his car. This would wake them up usually pretty quick. |
K
kctiki
Posted
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08/20/2003
Whoa Tiki Rider Five-O, that's a gas! If you can find ways to make YOUR job more fun, surely anyone can! |
S
Swanky
Posted
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08/20/2003
Do not attempt to demonstrate your expert fighting style. I lost my 2 front teeth that way. I knocked my own out! |
K
kctiki
Posted
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08/20/2003
with numchucks(sp?) |
F
Formikahini
Posted
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08/20/2003
I am SOOO sorry I did not get to meet you, TR5O, on my trip out to California! You sound like my kinda trooper/guy!! |
T
tiki-riviera
Posted
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08/21/2003
Things I learned when drunk: I'm extremly witty and charming but the ladies can't see it. Get on floor before passing out, less painful. Increases the desire, decreases the performance! Puking from beer smells worse than puking from rum. I'm an f-ing lightweight!! |
D
Dounia
Posted
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08/22/2003
Bong, |
L
laney
Posted
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08/22/2003
Let me be the first to send a warm welcome to, Dounia. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome! |
T
tikifish
Posted
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08/22/2003
I think Dounia finally got drunk enough to post! |
T
Tiki_Bong
Posted
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on
08/22/2003
Dounia, I'm sure it's confusing for you, but this thread, to which you replied, was in jest! Besides, if TC members didn't post 'whilst' drunk, there would probably be about 90% less posts. Please describe what 'false rumors' you refer (if you can remember)? And in regards to 'stereotypical fundamentalist rhetoric' in previous posts, that also was in jest (funny huh?)! (I wouldn't discuss religion if I were you, as Hanford has proscribed it.) Why is it I really think you are a re-registration of a recently discredited or disgruntled TC member? |
D
Dounia
Posted
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08/22/2003
Nope, Bong, I'm brand spanking new, though I've been lurking off and on for months as a guest first, and now as a member. Can't mention the false rumors...might get me in trouble. |
T
tikifish
Posted
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08/22/2003
If your first post is to lambaste an honorable tiki contributor, I can't wait to see what's next! Hanford is going to have a busy weekend... he he |
D
DawnTiki
Posted
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08/22/2003
Lambasted Bong, do fries come with that? Sorry I'm on a diet, everything pertains to food! :P |
T
Tiki_Bong
Posted
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08/22/2003
Dounia, Why am I of such interest to you? Since you don't post, you must have been fastidiously writing down all my posts. Maybe I should employ you as my personal scribe? Anyway, nice to have you aboard. Cannot wait to hear your wisdumb... |
TR
Tiki Rider
Posted
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08/23/2003
Welcome Dounia... |
H
hanford_lemoore
Posted
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08/23/2003
"Dounia" (AKA Ford Vox? Lisa Vox?, I don't know exactly) has been banned because of the comments in her/his first post. People, I'm serious about no politics or religion, and trying to restart topics or get the last word in. Thanks for understanding! ~Hanford |
R
RevBambooBen
Posted
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08/23/2003
Arrrrrrrrrr!!! |
S
Swanky
Posted
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08/23/2003
"Never volunteer to appease the god by jumping into the volcano." You only learn that drunk lesson once! |
T
tikifish
Posted
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08/23/2003
Things I have learned:
|
T
Tiki_Bong
Posted
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08/23/2003
Sounds more like it should be a warm goodbye. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye! |
JT
Jungle Trader
Posted
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08/23/2003
Never ever ask a woman with a large belly if she is pregnant..........not even when you're sober. |
K
kahukini
Posted
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08/26/2003
[ Edited by: kahukini 2009-12-11 11:05 ] |
K
kctiki
Posted
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08/28/2003
If you get hungry while drunk, be sure to carefully identify what you're about to consume. Dad always had a sweet tooth and was rummaging through the kitchen for something to satisfy it. He found a large jar containing small lavender colored spheres. He thought they were candy or cake decorations and gobbled them down before we could tell him it was African Violet fertilizer. Another time he took a large bite of fresh ginger root - actually chewed and swallowed it. I don't know what he mistook it for - a chicken gizzard maybe. It caused simultaneous respiratory and gastrointestinal distress. I certainly wouldn't recommend this kind of excess in drinking or eating. He didn't live to a ripe old age. But he was a lot of fun while he was here. |
T
Tiki_Bong
Posted
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08/28/2003
Kahukini, You're a good man. Let's start with a clean slate and enjoy all that's tiki. Mahalo and aloha - Bong |
F
freddiefreelance
Posted
posted
on
08/29/2003
2a. Most women don't like you to puke on'em during sex, and you don't want the other kind. 2b. And that girl who starts making out with you in the bar 'cause you're good @ darts probably isn't a good idea, either.
3a. Kicking one out isn't much better.
I used to be pretty angry, but I'm feeling much better now. |
T
tiki-riviera
Posted
posted
on
09/02/2003
WARNING-this is very painful. After a night of drinking and sex I woke up and had to take a hell of a piss. I ran into the bathroom and whipped out Mr. Big real fast, but some drippage from the night before had glued the tip to my underwear, and the skin from the very tip was ripped off. I think the scream was heard in 3 states. |
S
SugarCaddyDaddy
Posted
posted
on
09/02/2003
Things I've learned while (my date was) really drunk: Don't think you're the world's greatest lover, even when YOU ARE NOT the one drunk! I remember it like it was yestarday: it was 1988, and I was literally attacked by my totally drunk date who couldn't even wait to take off all my clothes. I was wearing Levi 501's (I could actually fit into 501's then) and she undid my pants and jumped on like a wild cowgirl. She was screaming and moaning so loud, I really thought I was the world's greatest lover until.... I sort of "slipped out", but she kept on riding and screaming in ecstacy, only to find out that it was the top button to my 501's that "got her off". My ego, as well as other parts of me, was quickly deflated. |
C
CruzinTiki
Posted
posted
on
09/04/2003
Neither is the guy/girl/barnyard animal you are considering getting close to either. DON'T leave it until the cold light of morning to find out. Also ... making out with your friend's younger brother (or his friends) is never good idea. And finally ... if you have imbibed enough peach California Coolers to make you go throw up on the Datsun outside under NO circumstances go back inside for more just so your friends won't think you're a wimp. |
T
Tiki_Bong
Posted
posted
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09/06/2003
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MC
Midway Cafe
Posted
posted
on
09/07/2003
1: Don't ever play Pictionary if there are children in the room. 2: Hide the keys from your friends gun locker. 3: It may be OK to park the Harley in the kitchen for the winter but don't even consider riding it around the house. |
Pages: 1 44 replies