Buzzy's work: Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate

Captain,

The sunsets and Tiki's are looking exceptional this week.

Check out my little friend I caught crawling across my sleeping bag this weekend...6 inches of bad ass, cupped under that black light there :)

GMAN has to come to this "Poker Run" next year...right up his ally.

Six inches?!! That's one big damned scorpion!! Holy crap.

On 2007-10-16 19:00, Babalu wrote:
Captain,

The sunsets and Tiki's are looking exceptional this week.

Check out my little friend I caught crawling across my sleeping bag this weekend...6 inches of bad ass, cupped under that black light there :)

GMAN has to come to this "Poker Run" next year...right up his ally.

Babs, that's a "Brown Hairy","Arizona Brown Hairy","Giant Desert Hairy", or "Mexican Brown Hairy" scorpion.(all different names for the same [Hadrurus arizonensis]arachnid) I had one that I caught in Arizona and I LOVED him. They are a little tricky to care for in SD as they require a DRY climate. A ten gallon terrarium with a red light and silica sand will do the job, as long as you keep it covered. My wife put mine outside for a couple of days while I was out of town and the humidity killed him.

The Brown Hairy Scorpion is the largest scorpion in North America.

What do ya feed that sucker, - mice????

On 2007-10-17 06:50, Cammo wrote:
What do ya feed that sucker, - mice????

Crickets!! It's fun to sit and watch them ambush the little chirping roaches, too. You get them at the pet store, 15 for a buck and just put them in with the scorpion........at first, the cage is filled with cricket music at night, but they are slowly, one by one.......silenced.

On 2007-10-17 06:50, Cammo wrote:
What do ya feed that sucker, - mice????

A big scorpion will kill and eat just about anything that crosses their path when hungry uncluding snakes, lizards and mice!

On 2007-10-17 11:43, hodadhank wrote:

On 2007-10-17 06:50, Cammo wrote:
What do ya feed that sucker, - mice????

A big scorpion will kill and eat just about anything that crosses their path when hungry uncluding snakes, lizards and mice!

Oh, yeah! They LOVE baby lizards. I gave mine pinky mice before, but he'd always eat half and leave the rest to rot and stink, so I just stuck to crickets.

You still got that little guy, Babs?

hey buzzy. Got any of those cheap mug sets left?
And I sent you a pm.......check it out

Big belly tiki says hi

Yesterday's sunset:

I woke up today and told myself that since it was a nice day, I'd spend it outside slapping out some crap. Here's the first piece of crap I slapped out this morning:

now I'm going to move on to another "new" one from my new Slap 'n Crap line.

Buzzy Out!

I think you went too deep and worked way too hard.

On 2007-10-18 12:59, Bay Park Buzzy wrote:
now I'm going to move on to another "new" one from my new Slap 'n Crap line.

GROG thought that describe all your tikis. :P :P :P :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

(AH HA HA----GROG crack GROG up!!)

P.S. Love ya Buzzy!!

Billy: Ok...Good points. I did spend about 20 minutes longer on that one than I intended. My mistake was making the body. I cut way more time off this next piece by just doing a shallow face.

Here it is:

GROG: I'm actually advancing the devolution of the modern tiki movement before its impending heyday. This new movement of mine, as you noticed, will certainly not be about quality. Better jump on this bandwagon quick before it passes you by...

Buzzy Out!

Now you're getting it. Next tiki, you can just draw it on and press really hard for the indentations. You won't even have to sharpen your chisels for that one!!

Buzzy, will there be a new Buzzy video on the devolution of modern tiki? plus newest techniques of how to carve quickly and effectively in half the time???

uhhhh, I'm pretty fond of that first piece of crap that you slapped out this morning....I think there's something in this crap slapping direction you gots going Master B. You might concider a couple more slaps on it yet...that would really make it crappy. How much?

Hey Hil....

You should come up with a pseudonym for your Slap-Happy Crappy line of Tikis. Sign them all on the back -

Like "Keldrake, 1948"
Or "Toham, 1951".

Stain them dark, cover with 6 coats of Spar Varnish, drag them behind the truck for a few miles, then sell 'em fer 300 each. They'll fly off the shelves.

I don't know what makes me more horny - Tiki's or Sunsets? Either way you deliver both Buzzy!!

Speaking of horny...lookie see girls, and well a few of you guys too...don't you think we need Tiki-Zippo to make up some of these? Any other design changes you think we should send over to China? What say you Buzz? You like?...I think it's perfect!

I love it. But it really needs a 4 finger brass knuckle handle.

hummmm...brass knuckle handle...ok, I'm seeing that, but I don't think ole Zippo there will ever respond? Come on Zippo, step up to the plate! Kick your manufacture into action! We want samples.

Did you know that Buzzy buys the bulk of his tools from Harbor Freight? Everything fits.

Hey BUzZ,

I wanted to let you know how impressed I am with your work on the Gansta Ku. nIt really is a beautiful piece. Thanks so much. I have it up next to my BeZart. Additonally, thanks for the Tki Guy pendant. What a wonderful prize for guessing the sunset date. I'm honored to have him and to be able to be a tiki guy imposter when I need to. Thanks again for the carvings. They are some of my alltime favorites.

-G

On 2007-10-18 15:29, Bay Park Buzzy wrote:
Billy: Ok...Good points. I did spend about 20 minutes longer on that one than I intended. My mistake was making the body. I cut way more time off this next piece by just doing a shallow face.

Here it is:

GROG: I'm actually advancing the devolution of the modern tiki movement before its impending heyday. This new movement of mine, as you noticed, will certainly not be about quality. Better jump on this bandwagon quick before it passes you by...

Buzzy Out!

OK, Buzz.......Only TWO things missing from this tiki and one is a TOTALLY bloated price tag. The other is a declaration that it is more artistic to carve a minimal tiki than to completely detail it and make it nice. Only then have you taken tiki out of the islands and backyards and into the art galleries. Make sure you dress like you're depressed at your art shows as well. Sells more pieces when you're misteriously sad.

Buzzy where are you?

"Make sure you dress like you're depressed at your art shows as well. Sells more pieces when you're misteriously sad."

That's the blind little match girl syndrome. People want to buy matches from miserably sad cripples; it makes them feel less guilty for eating that Lobster Thermidore later in the evening. Buying art has become charity.

But it's a sharp knife to walk; you can't look like a bum, cause then they can't brag about meeting you at the Opening Reception and get their friends all jealous about it. Better to look dirty, extremely poor, distracted and horribly misunderstood, like a genius who's been overlooked by society. Of course Albert Einstein never looked miserable, but nobody ever thinks about this stuff too closely...

I sure hope the House of Buzz hasn't been engulfed in flames yet, or worse still, attacked by bears fleeing said flames. The fires are all over the news here today.
What's happening there Buzzy?

Buzz,

If you can get to a computer, send us a note letting us know you are ok.

Buzzy's house in not in anyfire or evac zone, so maybe he's just busy?

Buzzys Bay Park home is nowhere near any fires, but his family and girlfriend live out in the middle of all of them. If anyone saw the post on the "Hows' Bosko" thread, you'll see that his uncle just about lost his place if it hadn't been for having the balls to defend his home. Let's hope the rest of the Meekers are OK. Hell, let's hope EVERYONE is Ok.

A couple sunsets before the fires started:

I was at Babalu's for the first fire sunset, here it was yesterday:

bunch of smoke instead of marine layer out there

Here it was today:

A lot more smoke in the air

that tall building is the Catamaran

I was about as far away from every fire as one could possibly get. Like Billy said, it was a little closer to my parents and Zaya's places, but everyone is safe and out of danger now(there at least.) My Uncle Jeff was able to save his house from the fire

Here's a video of my Uncle Jeff from the news

I was out of the country last time we had the big fires here a few years ago, so all this fire stuff was new to me. I spent the day watching familar places being evacuated and hearing about more and more friends and family in danger on the news. Wild times indeed!

When they were out of fresh news footage, I holed up in the house and did some detailing on this guy:

Now, to catch up on some long overdue correspondence...

On 2007-10-18 22:00, hiltiki wrote:
Buzzy, will there be a new Buzzy video on the devolution of modern tiki? plus newest techniques of how to carve quickly and effectively in half the time???

Yes! But first, a video on cleaning logs. It got finished on Friday night, but there were techincal difficulties with it being uploaded to youtube, and it was subsequently pulled. The good news is that it is finished, on a backup disc, and ready for uploading. So whatever that means...

On 2007-10-19 10:44, The Sperm Whale wrote:
I don't know what makes me more horny - Tiki's or Sunsets? Either way you deliver both Buzzy!!

You can't have one without the other! Here's to make up for a few days worth of no posts

On 2007-10-20 21:51, GMAN wrote:
Hey BUzZ,

I wanted to let you know how impressed I am with your work on the Gansta Ku. nIt really is a beautiful piece. Thanks so much. I have it up next to my BeZart. Additonally, thanks for the Tki Guy pendant. What a wonderful prize for guessing the sunset date. I'm honored to have him and to be able to be a tiki guy imposter when I need to. Thanks again for the carvings. They are some of my alltime favorites.
-G

GMAN: Congrats on winning the first House of Buzz sunset contest ever! So glad you like them and I feel honored you wanted and have placed the gangsta in such good company. I'm glad you chose so wisely for your prize also. I couldn't have been happier in sending it(and da gangsta) to you. Keep your eyes on those guys, they like to cause a little trouble.
And...

They look SO happy in their new environment. :)
Now let's see the man room update!
But let's talk about the above outfit...
Nice try, but you still need a little work before you will blend in at an event as a official Tiki Guy. You still look like you're wearing a Tiki Guy costume. Here is what you will need to change: (This is a preview of what you will look forward to in one of the dozen or so books I have on tap to author in the next few years. It will be in the same format as the Preppy handbook in the 80's. It will probably called Tiki Guy Modern)
First, the footwear. You got it half right with sandals and socks. But, you have the wrong sandals. You need those big strappy velcro things called "Teevas" with the socks. Tiki Guys need shoes with more straps because they get so drunk that they always lose shoes without seatbelts.
Secondly, Tiki Guys always wear shorts. Tiki Guy is about a state of mind. It's taking the Polnesian paradise at home fantasy to it's extreme. It's bringing the polynesian atmosphere wherever you are. A Tiki Guy on the summit of Mt Everest will be wearing shorts and drinking a Mai Tai, because in his mind, he is actually in Tahiti, where it's too hot to wear pants.
Third, is the shirt. That shirt you have on is only acceptable in the following situations: Casual Friday at the office, or if you are a contrator with your office in the back seat of your F350, it is what you wear to a business meeting(tucked in). Tiki Guys wear shirts that announce that they have arrived. the highest honor for a true Tiki Guy is to be asked to enter a costume contest when he is wearing the same outfit he wears to the grocery store. Try a lot more color. Remember, you want the old you to want to kick the new you's ass!
Next, The hat. Three letters: F-E-Z Problem solved!
And, Tiki Guys always wear sunglasses or have racoon eye tan lines. You can fake this easily with some spray on tan.
Lastly, the bling pendant: perfect! It actually almost negates all the other flaws in your attire.
Do all the changes I suggested and trade in that tiki you're holding for a ceramic limited edition numbered tiki event mug( that you bought on ebay) full of liquor, and you're on the Official Tiki Guy Registry.

If anyone else needs help with their aspiring Tiki Guy attire, just post a picture and I'll do the Tiki Guy version of What Not To Wear.

Sorry for the delay guys... :(
Buzzy Out!

[ Edited by: Bay Park Buzzy 2007-10-24 00:54 ]

:lol:

I'll try better next time!

-G

Glad all is well in the World of Buzz. Impressive line up of Tikis too. I was wondering if you'd include a treatise on Tiki chick attire in the new book?

Buzzman, just saw that picture of the scorpion you caught...that would of scared the life outa me. spiders are my fear and scorpions are kinda in there too
the other big fear is large bodies of water.
great stuff, always!

Love the Tiki's Buzz and the spanking on G.
Man you always have to show the sunset pic's and all
i have is rain. That fire is suckin for alot of people.

love the tiki line up buzzy......cool stuff.......
.
and hey ...put 4 boxes of those ugly tiki mugs aside for me for when i come down next month

and you reinforced the standard for tiki apparel........

but i do have the tiki shirt thing covered

Some more smoke filled sunsets

On 2007-10-24 04:43, GMAN wrote:
I'll try better next time!

Becoming a Tiki Guy will be one of the hardest things you will ever put your mind, and especially your body, through in your life. The rewards will be worthy and plentiful at the end of your long journey, and happily, you will find that being a true Tiki Guy takes no effort in the end: It becomes YOU! Or you become IT!...something like that.

On 2007-10-24 08:26, Robin wrote:
I was wondering if you'd include a treatise on Tiki chick attire in the new book?

Not specifically in that new book, but it will definitely be covered in another new book I am researching at the moment on women. As`you know, I have several new books in the works, and it seems everyday I decide another topic to cover in yet another book. So you can look forward to plenty of tomes on tiki women.

On 2007-10-24 13:07, Tiki Duddy wrote:
Buzzman, just saw that picture of the scorpion you caught...that would of scared the life outa me. spiders are my fear and scorpions are kinda in there too
the other big fear is large bodies of water.
great stuff, always!

Thanks Duddy. That was Babalu who caught that thing. I would have stomped it.

On 2007-10-24 19:14, seeksurf wrote:
Love the Tiki's Buzz and the spanking on G.
Man you always have to show the sunset pic's and all
i have is rain.

You got no sun and floods...we got sun and fires...
And...
That wasn't spanking G.! That was just me trying to impart but a slice of my vast knowledge of all things Tiki Guy to a person who is respectfully attempting to recreate a culturally distinct and visibly identifiable sub group of Post Modern Polypop tiki enthusiast in his outward appearance: the Modern Tiki Guy!

On 2007-10-25 17:58, closettiki wrote:
and you reinforced the standard for tiki apparel........
but i do have the tiki shirt thing covered

Closetiki: thank you for providing the example of your shirts. What you have there is what I classify as a shirt "inventory", not a shirt "collection." What a Tiki Guy aspires to have is a "shirt collection." Here is a preview of a topic from my forthcoming book: Home Organization and Decoration the Tiki Guy Way! where I will discuss the proper color distribution and quantity of shirts in the Tiki Guy shirt collection.
While your inventory is vast, it weighs heavily on a very small slice of the overall visible light spectrum. What you should strive for in your collection is a perfeectly equal distribution of each wave of the spectrum. Here is an example of the color spectrum. At a minimum, your collection should appear to the drunken eye as the following diagram does:

In General and in conclusion: Arranging and acquiring a legitimate and certifiable Tiki Guy Shirt Collection will satisfy both the OCD and compulsive hoarding forms of psychosis often associated with the Tiki Guy psyche. The Ultimate Tiki Guy will have a two tiered shirt collection in his closet with a perfect balance of all waves of the spectrum represented. He will take hours to acquire and arrange the shirts in the perfect visual composition. The results of his labors should look like this in the end:

Closetiki, I think you now know what the focus of your life should be. Get that closet in order and balance up to the standards of a true Tiki Guy. You need some orange and and more red in there IMMEDIATELY! I'm so glad you brought this to me so I could tell you how you are supposed to arrange and purchase your clothes.

If anyone out there needs to come to me for Tiki validation, I want you to know you are always welcome and I enjoy helping all of you find the true path.

Buzzy Out!

DAMN....my tiki feng shui is all out of whack.......i need more tiki drink.........

Mister Bay Park Buzzy. You are a know-all. Somewhere somebody numerated all the wise guys + i guess, you where in.

Honestly, although I not that long registered, I been reading your post for a long time now and it helped a lot. Especially the 'what I have learned'-sections.
And sometimes I just laugh my head off.

Thanks, for all that.

tok-tok

[ Edited by: tok-tok 2007-10-26 13:11 ]

On 2007-10-25 20:21, Bay Park Buzzy wrote:
If anyone out there needs to come to me for Tiki validation, I want you to know you are always welcome and I enjoy helping all of you find the true path.

Tiki? or not tiki?

Picture: Easter Island?

Not Tiki, cause the guy doing it is wearing surfer sunglasses and a big-assed diver watch he bought at Wal-Mart?

But Buzzy is the final authority!

Dear Tiki Guy,

I just wanted to write to let you know that your "Tiki Guy Color Guide" has been extremely helpful. I have printed a copy to hang in my closet to make it easier when putting away the laundry. I think that in your "much anticipated" new book that explains (in detail) the evolution of the Tiki Guy, you should include a pull out leaflet of this color guide so that all might be able to reap the same benefits as I.....wait a minute....I feel I've been here before??....You didn't go back in time and make me say this did you?

On another note Tiki Guy, I have just been given a Tommy Bahamas shirt by someone I care about very much...They have said it was Tiki, but I just don't know? This question has proven very frustrating for me and I fear I have been loosing sleep. I don't see a cream color anywhere on the color guide. Can you help?

I know I'm a tiki guy want-a-be, but I just keep feeling that I will never-be.

Signed,

Sleepless in San Diego

PS. If we made bumper stickers of the color guide would it send the wrong message?

Guys these color spectrum's are great, but I think we need a "BUZZY COLOR BY NUMBER SYSTEM", so that any of us who are color blind can also have a rainbow colored closet. It will also aid in knowing what to put on with for the right occasion. Like GER-Animals, for adults.

H2O AKA Brian

Some recent sunsets:

Now some tiki stuff:

Now from my vast base of tiki knowledge:

TJones: Thank you for asking me if the image you provided was tiki before you went ahead and tried to decide on it for yourself. Ironically, I use that image in my forthcoming book: * The Field Guide to the North American Tiki Guy.* I'll answer you... But first, let me address Teakey...

Teakey: I would concur that that the painted image on the man's chest was based upon a traditional Easter Island figural form. I will now provide two examples from the House of Buzz Photo Archives to back my claims:

Now Jonesey: Knowing that an image is based on an easter Island piece will, in most cases, establish its tikiness without argument. It's pretty much a tiki given, or an absolute when including Easter Island art in the PolyPop tiki guy inventory of tiki acceptedness. However, this specific picture does have some elements that cause us to further question its overall tiki authenticity.

At face value, the picture is tiki. However, one needs to look at the context of the photo to ascertain its overall tiki validity. Let's examine the photo again:

Notice the background: Looks like Burning Man environment to me. No backyard tiki bar or tropical in sight. A tiki guy would never go to Burning Man because the Tiki Guy's skin cannot handle the sunlight, and the Tiki Guy parties in an opposing manner to the Hippie burning man loadies. After total scrutiny: This looks to more like a Hippie Burning man dude than a Tiki Guy to me. However, one must not always trust what one sees...

You see Jonsesey, despite the visual clues, my Tiki Guydar was registering of the charts. How could that be? I asked myself...
Then I took a closer look and went back in my time machine to Tiki Oasis 1 to verify my findings: If you look closely, you will notice the guy in the picture on the left is actually a young Crazy Al. That's GROG (in his long hair metalhead phase) who volunteered to paint up his "tan...six pack abs"(the man speaks from experience!) in the picture. I never would have recognized them either. You see, back then, Al used to go around with this painting and say he was a living tiki mug to market himself to the Tiki Guy consumer base. Polypop entuhusiasts responded cooly to his devotion to traditional polynesian culture, and he soon abandoned this look for his much more successful beachcomber/ coconut player ensemble at tiki events. That my friend, is a Historical Photo of the Preday- Heyday which Precceeds the future devolution of the Modern Tiki Guy Movement.
Not only is that picture Tiki: it's historical vintage tiki some day!

Babalu: Many a well dressed successful men have idled about in TB shirts, and there is nothing wrong with that, for them. However, the Tiki Guy can wear only two types of shirts, in combo, or individually:
#1 A VINTAGE tiki, or Hawaiian, shirt, of any material design and composition. Used shirts do not count, only vintage.
#2 A tiki Tshirt, depicting a tiki image or a shirt that commemorates a past tiki event.
You can wear the TB shirt until you take being a Tiki Guy, and yourself a little more seriously.
And...I had the pullout closet guide made, but the printers messed up the colors and we didn't put them in the final draft because we had no time to redo them and were in a hurry to get it in markets by next Tiki season.

Tok-Tok: Greetings my European Friend! I know you do not remember, but it was I who brought Tiki to your country, and told you about tiki a long time ago while you were sleeping. I did it with my time machine to make sure tiki would be alive and well in Germany. I also went to HaiKai and taught him how to carve when he just started out. I said to him when he was carving a mantlepiece, "You should carve American Tikis!" He did and then I went in my time machine to see who killed Marilyn monroe, but my lawyer said I cannot talk about that book yet...
Wecome Tok-Tok, to the House of Buzz, I hope you understand enough of all this because it is all true...

H20: I will have a Tiki Guy product line out soon. I've been designing clothes in between the the authoring and carving.

I'm still a couple weeks behind on PM's, so hang on a couple of you, I'll answer them soon...

I am the Author of my own Authority!
Buzzy Out!

So.. what you are saying is, that there will be brass knuckle handles on the tiki guy coffee cups?

And...

Didn't we agree last year at some point that wild fires make for pretty sunsets? or was that Hurricanes? How about a fire hurricane?

Sunsets:

Been working on chainsaw carving in between other stuff...

I cleaned and split a log today. Started carving this just because it was such a nice day and I wanted to spend it outside:




Here it was at day's end:

Tornhalo: Babalu has been in email contact with tikizippo regarding the mug.If he can get someone on the phone who speaks english, he is going to ask for brass knuckle handles. Since it was your idea, ypu are now officially a mug designer. You should put something in your TC signature to reflect this fact.

Chocolate Milk Time!
Buzzy Out!

Holy sweet!!

I'll have to come up with something catchy..

But first I'm going to petition to have my legal name changed to "Fire Hurricane Sparklefat Cannonball Devain Unclear".

On a compleatly related subject, If you infact carved a pumpkin for Halloween, did you take a pic that you could post for us?

hey buzzy....cool stuff as always.....what no more ...slap-n-crap line ?.....does this mean that the existing pieces are now.... LIMITED EDITIONS...thus making them.....extremely valuable......and dare we say......pricey.....hmmm...should have gotten in on the ground floor.....damn

big belly tiki says hi

Did a little work on the face of this guy last night:

Crappy, cloudy day today. Glad that I worked outside all day yesterday.

Tornhalo: No pumpkin this year...I spend every Halloween locked inside my house not answering he door. Damn freeloaders!

Closettiki: Yes, those ARE extremely valuable now...

Buzzy Out!